Busy bee!

This weekend has been insane..
We got the flat on Friday and the work started on Saturday. They have stripped the kitchen cabinets and floor and the hallway floor and closet along with the walk-in closet. The bathroom renovation starts today.
We have bought new wooden floors.. It is black oak to put on the hallway floors, in the walk-in closet and the kitchen. It is very very pretty.

When we got the flat on Friday - I got this panicky feeling. It felt like it was too much. And the horrid smell.. Ugg.. But it is looking better already and the smell is almost gone after we removed the kitchen and the closet and so on. So that is a good sign. And I think it will get very pretty by the time we are done.

I couldn't find my camera so the before pictures are taken on my cell- hope they turn out OK.

Over to something else. I finished reading Unbearable Lightness last night and I loved it.. It was so easy and comfy to read.. And I could relate to her feelings and thought in so many levels. And the ending was just so nice. I also loved the ending and her thoughts around intuitive eating. How we should learn to listen to our body. Eat when it asks for it- stop when we are full. And I have never managed that. I never eat cause I am hungry, and stop cause I full. I either binge - or under eat cause of my counts. I have DL'ed this book on my kindle and I hope to get a how to plan.

It would be such a bliss to stop the counting- and the binging- and the "cravings".. The hunger.. The good/bad food lists.. So ya we will see how it goes.

On the other note I have "stolen" the 60 day challenge from Samzi and I want to start on it cause I think it sounds like such a fun plan. I have made a page for it. and going on it from today.

The weekly challenge is: 
Pick one unhealthy food or habit you have (eg. Artificial sweetener, chocolate, eating after 8pm, skipping breakfast) and aim to go 7 days without eating/doing it.



Mine will be skipping breakfast. I tend to skip it or not have anything more than tea/coffee. And then have a half of a sandwich around lunch time and count it as breakfast. So if there is one thing I have always wanted to change and think can do - is this.

Day 1: 

How tall are you, what do you currently weigh, and what do you hope to weigh after the 60 days? (Be realistic).


I am 163 cm tall (it's around 5'3.5 I think) - and I haven't been on the scale since Thursday cause I had my monthly visit. But my weight then was 108.7 kg aka 239.6 lbs. (Yup horrid but that's what it is). I hope to be under 100 kg after the 60 days. So I hope to lose 10 kg - aka 20 lbs. I think it a doable number.

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I have been off MFP the last 3 days- and I haven't counted at all. We have been out all day almost, and my cell app is acting up. I have not been on the scale either cause I have had my period. It was over yesterday, and I will get on the scale on Wednesday for the planned weekly weigh- in. Really hope I have lost some weight. Can't really tell at the moment since I have been really bloated..

@ Sasha: Great, I am following the new blog as we speak :)
@ Star: Thanks for the follow hon- I had a look at your blog and it seemed to be in Spanish, hence why I am not following back. Let me know if you have a blog in English :)
@Mia, Miranda, Run: Ya I had a talk to my leader today and explained the situation. He understands and hopefully there will be no more stinky situations like that.
@Nasimiyu: I loved it.. Enjoy the read :)


Anywho.. Off for now


<3

Burlesque..

Watching the movie again.. I had a sudden urge.. Weird.. But it sure is full av motivation (aka girls with amazing bodies) hehe..

I have decided I am taking the rest of the week off. I sort of had an argue with my teamleder on Tuesday - which made my sucky day even worse.

The thing is I am like super over sensitive.. Extreme sound- light-- But the thing that I react most to is smell. I can not deal with fish- onion- garlic.. It has gone really bad with the fibromyalgi. But I never ever thought I would have to argue about it at work..

This guy at work keeps eating at his desk.. And you know I don't mind it cause normal people have like some fruit, or yogurt or something like that. But he eats like hot food - or salad with raw onions dunked in garlic dressing..

I have asked him several times to don't cause it really makes me sick.. I get really ill... And last Tuesday it got so bad.. His onion garlic shit- along with his fucking power ball.. (Yes ladies.. He brings a toy to work *sigh*).. And it was so bad that I moved from my desk and went downstairs with my laptop to work..

When I got back (like two hours later) - I had a chat with my teamleader, saying how ill this made me - and that I have brought it up several times and rest of the guys respect it but that fucktard..

And then he said "but he was only eating a salad" ..... Come on.... What the hell is that for a pro workplace? I love my job and most of my co-workers. And I am so sick of that guy..

It's not like I am being unfair, asking for something weird... Anywho.. The convo ended with an ultimatum from me.. I said "if this happenes again, and you do not tell him to stop, I am packing my shit and going him - and will work from home from then"..

But when I got home.. I just got more angry.. So I needed a break- and I decided to just take call in sick.. and I did that yesterday.. And today.. And will tomorrow..

But in the middle of all of this shit.. I got my period yesterday.. 8 days too early.. And today I woke up with a hell of UIT (Urinary tract infection).. Anywho.. I got to the doc and got some antibiotics for it.. And I am feeling better already but ya...


Anywho.. Enough about this shit... Tomorrow is the big day.. Taking over the new flat.. I am really looking forward to that..  :)


Yesterday didn't end up liquid, but I did really good with my eat- and woke up weigh in less than I did yesterday even with my period..


@ Seeking Something Else : thanks hon.. It is good to know that I am not alone hehe :)


Anywho... Off for now :)

<3

THIS is what I want..

I came across this picture on tumblr and I LOVE it.... 

Today will be a "liquid" day..

I am taking the day off from work. I just couldn't deal with it. So I am home today. I haven't had a whole day at home since the last time where I was so ill I was coughing my lungs out hehe, so this is going to be good.

Last night I cleaned out my closet. I am tossing a whole lot of cloths. Stuff that are too old- or that don't fit right.. And today I am cleaning some more. Everything has been stuffed in closets for the showings we have had of our current place. So I want to get things out and put them where they are supposed to be.

I also want to clean the kitchen. It's been so messy- and I am tired of waiting on hubby to clean up after him self. So I am going to do it. I am also going to have a "liquid" day today. Aka - Coffe, tea, and a probiotic drink for breakfast , protein shake for lunch - and soup for dinner. Some more tea and couple liters of water for snack.

I am down around 5 lbs since I started watching and couting again. I am happy for that, but I am not really happy with how the last days have been, I mean sure the counts have been OK- but the content of what I have been eating could have been better. I think I would have lost more, if I had been more carefull. And that is exactly what I will be doing from today.

Anywho..

I am also going to have some girly time. I want to fix my nails and my eye brows. I also bought Portia De Rossi's book unberable lightness for my kindle. And I am really looking forward to read that :)

Anyways girls .. I am gonna get on that .. Take care of you all..


<3


Edit:

This picture is just soo funny! I wish I could lose wight bitching :P I'm really good at it lol

Edit: 

Has anyone seen Dr. Oz's story on Colleen Williams? She is 700 lbs.. *sigh* .. This story is insane.. I can not imagine that life.. And I am so afraid.. So so afraid.. I know if I do not change my life I could end up like that.. And I am so glad I restarted my journey few days ago.. That will not who I become... 

:(

I was feeling all well this morning and then I got to work and our morning meeting.

We are going to have this after-work gathering with 2 other deps - and I had said that I could stay over after work for a little while.

So today we got this email where they had put a small picture of everyone that had said they will come - and made a "get your coworks to come" mail out of it.. So during the meeting the subject of the party was brought up - and then one of the guys says "there is a girl in the picture and I have no idea who that is" - so the phone with the mail and the pic was passed to couple more and they were all "oh I have no idea who that is" - so I was like "let me see" .. And guess what... The picture was me...

And then they are like "No it's not you- you don't look like that" ... 


The picture is like 7 years old and someone took it from my facebook page- but still that is what I look like.. I  am the same me - with darker hair and less make up..

But wtf.. No one could see that is was me??

And I know.. Boys will be boys.. Working in a team with 11 other guys means I have to deal with a whole lot of stupid manly comments- but I mostly just ignore it and put it in the "stupid boys file" ... But this really really hurt me.. And I am really upset cause I do not understand why I am letting this get to me so much..

Is is cause I weighted less there and now I don't? - or cause they think I looked much better there... I mean who gives a fuck about what they think right?? *sigh*

I feel really bad now..


Anywho.. I'm gonna be off for now.

<3

Taaadaaaa..

Hear hear...

I just have my first binge free weekend in YEARS..... Yup.. You heard it! I had one unplanned meal- but it was a meal- and no binge.. 

I have my official weigh in on Wednesday.. But the scales was 1.5 kgs down yesterday.. 

I want to give a huge thanks to Miranda.. Honey that last comment of yours really got to me. I could almost hear you shouting at me hehe- "get though with your self".. Thanks <3 

It's like.. I know I need to - I never care enough to "get though on my self" ... But I will :) Actually I am! ... I am going to keep this trend going :) 

What else... 

Oh ya.. We bought an apple tv thingi.. hehehe.. I am ttly inlove with it.. We were at this shop to have a look at the fridge/freezer options for the new place - and there it was.. Played some with it yesterday and I heart it hehe.. So if you have a hubby/BF/GF who loves gadgets and owns a mac/iphone/ipad - this is THE give away christmas gift ^^ 

The other thing I bought there was an air popper.. I have been looking for one for AGES.. But they are not common in Scandinavia - so I couldn't find it. I LOVE popcorn- and I have been avoiding it cause even the ones you make in the microwave can be so fatty.. So now I can pop my own fat free popcorn ^^ 

I feel much better girls- thanks for all your concern. I have been having lot more sleep (aka more than 4-5 hours per night) and I feel more relaxed. 

I have also bought a whole bunch of weight watchers frozen meals that I have been eating for my dinners along with some green salad for dinner and it has really been helping me control my intake. I was really surprised over how tasty and low cal they are. I will most likely replace all my dinners (ex from couple of family dinners) with it. I manage to control my intake well during the days- it is weekend and night time I have a huge issue with- but these meals are really helping me cope with the dinner time binge cravings. 

I noticed that I managed to stay under 1000 cals on Friday (that's when I started with those meals) and around 1200-1300 in the weekends. (My weekends munch tend to be way over 2k so this really is a win).. And that is how I plan to keep going.

I'm gonna put up a page for weigh in Wednesday (again) and update it once a week. I know I wont be able to skip the scale - and stay off it. But Wednesdays are going to be the official weigh in day.

Anywho :)


We are taking over the flat on Friday and I am going to take a whole bunch of before pictures. The guys we hired to do the kitchen/floors are starting on Saturday. They are going to just pull out everything - and they will take it out on Monday, and then start putting down the new wood floors in the hallway and the kitchen.

The bathroom guys will start on Monday (that should be done in 2-3 weeks). Yaay for that!

OMG I just noticed - there is like 4 weeks left till we are moving- maybe I should start packing around already so we can toss whatever we don't need.

We still have no painters though- so we should figure that out soon. Oh and they will deliver the kitchen cabinets around week 45- and they are going to start on it from week 46 ( aka mid November ) and it takes 3-4 weeks to be done.

There is one thing we aren't sure about. and that is what we are going to do with the closet in the hallway. I mean we have the walk in closet in the end of the hallway- and we are going to have a wardrobe in the bedroom. The one that I am talking about is in the "original" shape- and it has two long doors and two small ones on the top. I was thinking maybe we can use one side (there is a wooden wall in the middle) as storage for the cleaning stuff - and the other side to hang winter jackets and just paint the doors to match the rest of the walls in the hallway.  OR should we just empty it - and remove it and put it a new one with those doors you can shove to the sides.. Ermm - like this.

But then sort of built inn the wall- if you know what I mean.... I guess it means yet another expense and I am not sure if we can have it with everything going on.. So we will see.. It would be cool though hehe


Over to something else.. I am so sick of the gastro guy.. He really makes me ill... Like I feel like I am going to vomit just being close to him.. I don't talk much to him anymore -but I still have to since he still works in the same company. And I just had a case where I needed to check some facts with him.. So I sat there talking to him for couple of mins.. It was maybe less than that even.. Now it feels like my legs and everything are itchy.. like ugg... Wtf... And the smell.. OMG.. The fucking smell... I do not understand how ppl that sit around him don't vomit.. It is horrid..

And I must say.. He is just waste of tax money.. Our taxes pay for his surgery and recovery and the fucktard is still stuffing his face.. How is it even possible.. Every single documentary I have seen about this say that you just can NOT eat solid food for months after it.. How the fuck does he manage to eat so much? He is ALWAYS eating.. Everytime I pass him he has food or juice in his hand.. There is always candy/salted nuts around his keyboard (another yuck factor) ... He brings food from home - AND gets takeaways every freaking lunch.. How does he get it down??

Ugg.. Enough about it.. I need to use to anti bac on my legs or something.. Cause I still feel itchy and ugg ... and its like 15 mins ago I was there...

I never thought I could dislike a person so much just cause who/what they are.. But I guess it is possible..


Anyways.. I am going to be off for now..

Dreading this meeting I have in less than an hour... So wish me luck....


<3

Bad night = good morning - new motivation

I had a really bad night after my horrid day yesterday.. I went home and did a whole lot of cooking (that is my way to relax) - so now hubby has a bunch of proper and healthy food for his lunches at work.. Then I watched princess and the frog (Cartoons always get me in a better mood) - and I felt much better. Then we hit the sack - talked and was ready to go to sleep... I am pretty good dealing with my pains- but yesterday was kind of bad- and by the time the lights were off- and I was trying to get some sleep.. I just got more and more frustrated.
My right knee was aching really bad- I could chew off my arms to get rid of the pain.. And then in the middle of the night. I started crying.. I cried- and cried and cried.. I think I was crying for an hour or so...
I cried cause I was in pain.. Not only on the outside- but also the inside.. I was hurting cause I know the my knee hurting like this is most likely cause of my weight. I know that if I get lighter- It will be so much easier on my joints.. I cried cause I have let it go this far- cause I keep disappointing my self.
Cause this year is almost over - and yet again I have not lost any weight.. I managed to get my self 14 lbs heavier than I had every been before. But that is that.. I think I have given my self way too many chances to fuck up.. I have given my self way too many excuses.
I am done planning and failing cause I just talk.. From today I will just do... I will practice self control. And I make the right choices. It is not like I do not know HOW to do this shit.. I just never do it..
I know I said this before - but this time I mean it.. I am not gonna go into details of what I am going to do - I just know I am going to count everything and stop at the bite that is my limit.

There is one thing I can promise though.. I am done disappointing my self..

<3

PS: @ Miranda: His family lives here.. His grandparents going to be living like 2 mins walk away from our new flat.. But you are right.. I am going to stop letting them stress me - and stand up for us.. Thanks :) <3