*insert smart title here*

I think I have been doing very good this week. I have been making my meals for work the night before - I have been sticking to my exercise plan and worked out 3 day. My net calories are very well under my weekly budget. I have however not lost a single tiny little pound the last couple of days. That made me kind of :S this morning, but then I put on my new jeans and they are getting loose on me.. They were very very tight last week - so this is good.
My first thought when I stepped on the scale was "I am eating too much" - but then I took a step back.. Thought of all the times you girls have talked about the scale standing still - and how you keep going - and now I am fine. I have to understand that even though I am making very good changes in my eating/exercise habits - it will not all change within the week. So my goal is to have a bingefree weekend, where I keep tracking my eats and to get in  another exercise session.
I have to keep remembering that I have done years of harm to my body- and it is my fault that it has reached this weight - and that I can not fix it overnight. That if my goal is to really get slim - and healthy, I can not just jump on a yet another fad diet - fail - binge - and gain more weight.

On another note - I am going to start studying again. When my ex - dumped my ass after I had quite my job and so on - I found that the only thing I could do was to start studying. Mind you, it was online studies since everything else was full - and a private business.. Very very very very expensive. I took a student loan to get by. But I never finished it up. I didn't have the state of mind - I was really behind and couldn't catch up. I e-mailed the school to ask if there was any chance for me to be able to pick up the classes I had paid for and to be able to take exams. And to my biggest surprise, I got an e-mail saying that I had 3 semesters left to complete to classes!

I have 3 classes I can take during the spring semester - and 5 for the fall semester. I have completed the class for one of the fall semesters and I only need to take the exams for it. So my plan is to reread the books for that class and pick up one of the spring classes now. Complete the rest of the fall classes next fall - and the last two classes next spring. The 4 I have to take this fall will be really hard - and I will be a full time student, while I am working full time for 5-6 months. But I think it will be worth it.

I still have to pay to be able to take the exams, and that will cost a bit - but all in all completing this means I haven't been wasting around 20k USD (that's around what I have in student loan for that year :S) - on something I never finished. I need to be really strict with my self, and focus to be able to achieve this. Specially the fall semester, so wish me luck :) Cause I am very sure it's needed...

Work has been very very very still today - which has been perfect for me. I have been looking over the school things, mailing with the school - looking at the classes and so on all day. I ordered a book I needed for one of the classes I will be taking this semester and now I am on my lunch break. I have barely done anything at work today - and to be honest, I don't care at all..

Anywho :)

Official weigh-in will be on Wednesday - so I am not going to worry about the scale not moving for now - and be patient and focus on doing good this weekend - and as I wrote this, I got an e-mail saying there will be cake in the kitchen soon lol - you gotta love the way the office culture is always trying to fatten you up! I am not going to have any.

That said! I am going to finish this wall of text - and wish you all an amazing weekend!

Oh and thanks for all the comments about the running, we have a storm warning here - but that should be over soon - and as soon as it has cleared I am going to start the C25K outside :) Thanks for the push hehe :)

<3

Edit: I am loving this song lately... So I thought I would share it with you ladies :)

Sore....

I know .. This is very very very pathetic but my whole body is sore.. I have been exercising, but nothing I would put in the "proper" exercise section. Slightly over 30 mins on WiiFit plus - and mostly doing the step - jogging and boxing sessions.. For some reason I am all sore specially in my back and arms..

Would you count jogging in place, as jogging? - Anywho - I guess the main point is that I am moving and can feel it.. Way too well lol..

Food wise it's been fine.. I think I ate a tad too much yesterday.. My nets have been around 1000 calories which is fine with me - since my goal is 1200. Talking about goals.. I am going to talk numbers.. I am aiming to burn 1500 calories through exercises - which seems to be doable.. I am up to 778 calories burned this week. According to MFP I would need to eat 1280 calories to lose 2 lbs a week.. Me taking it down to 1200, makes it 2.2 lbs a week... The 1500 = l lbs a week.. So if everything goes as it is supposed to - and if my body behaves as planned.. I should be losing around 3 lbs a week. There is 8 whole weeks left until the trip to Chamonix - which means I should be able to lose those 20 and some more with no problem..

I think this is the first time ever I have some proper - doable - healthy - weight loss goals..

I was trying to talk to hubby about it last night - and as soon as I started he said "3 lbs a week is too much" and blabla - so I got cranky and didn't bother to keep talking about it. I think it's healthy numbers - and for him to shut it down so fast - is sort of annoying.. I mean - if I was 100 lbs lighter - then ya ..  I would agree.. But I'm not.. So I don't understand the fuss to be honest..

I have a question for the runners.. 
I am not one (as you guys know) - but I want to become one and I would like to start the C25k.. My problem is however the weather.. It is pretty cold now.. - no snow - but some rain and a whole lot of wind.. The wind has been very very strong..
I live not that far from a great park with loads of running trails - and I really want to start the program running outside (running on the treadmill freaks me out) .. I do have a pair of good running shoes - and normal gym cloths.. Would you say - I can just start the program now? Or should I wait until it's warmer outside?

Please remember I am in the worst shape of my life - and jogging 10 mins in place make me all out of breath.. This is what I look like after couple mins lol 

Thanks for the comments yesterday.. The day went very very slowly all day.. I do read e-books at work.. and surf and so on - I also watch a bunch of youtube clips and so on.... But sometimes - when you have days of nothing to do - it all becomes sort of too much of the good stuff - if you know what I mean.

Anyway - I'm gonna stop blabing :) Hope you all have a good day


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Oh PS: If anyone else is using MFP - feel free to add me.. Just make sure to put a note saying who you are - cause I don't really add people there outside blogger world. My username is kittz30

*sigh*

If this work day goes any slower I am sure I will be dead soon.. 3 hours left at work.. And I have done NOTHING!!!!! This is worse than it was in the end of the summer when all Co's were on vacation and so on..

I know I should be happy that I have a job that pays enough to cover all my needs but OMFG I am so bored...

*sigh*

I have been surfing and streaming all day.... I am to a point that I am considering to download WOW or something to my work PC....

What do you guys do when  you have nothing to do ??

Monday .. Woop woop....

OR not :P

It's not exactly a hidden fact that I am not the most happy morning/Monday person..
But today is a great day - and you want to know why? Because I can finally put the whole Christmas, newyears eating out stuff behind me and have my new start :)

I am going to start planning my meals more properly. I have two packs of oatmeal and two frozen weightwatchers dinner left and I am going to have those with some fruit today and tomorrow. And I am going to start making food plans - and I am thinking to have it pretty low carb. I am not going to count carbs, only calories - but I will focus on the right sources of it.

Going for the whole- leaner - browner - greener plan. aaannnnddd I am going to get started with an exercise plan.. I am only aiming for 3 times a week for now.. I am in such a bad shape - that I think aiming for more - would just be aiming to fail. I am not really good at making time and an afford to go to the gym, so I want to start doing the couch25k (properly this time) and combine it with some simple exercises such as push-up, and plank at home.

I am going to reread "you can be thin" again.. It really did put me off all bad carbs - and I think it is a great place to start this whole journey again.

I also came across this article which I think some of you might enjoy reading... I know for a fact that I did..

Anyway, I am going to end this post and try to focus on work. I want to say thanks for all your comments, and say welcome to the new followers..

I still have loads of problems with my dashboard and that fact that it doesn't update all the new blogs I am following - so any tips on how to fix it will be gladly welcomed :(

Edit: 

I also want to put some goals for my self.. As I have mentioned before - I will be going on a trip with my work to Chamonix in March (8th of March). And I want to aim to reach my first GW by then. No matter what the scale says on Wednesday - I still will be looking at a 20 lbs ish loss.. So that's my first goal.. 2 months - 20 lbs.. That is ttly doable.. :) 

Sometimes I wish I could turn my brain off...

Don't you wish you could turn off your brain sometimes? I know for sure that I do..

Sometimes I wonder if I am one of those people who lives in a fantasy world.. I am so perfect in my head.. I am skinny - I have a great career - I have the best collection of shoes, and purses, and cloths - I am the best wife and mother - I juggle everything, and I do it perfectly!

But then I open my eyes.. I am fat - I am out of shape - I have an OK job - I have a bunch of shoes that I can barely walk in cause I am too fat - I only own cloths that fit me, not cloths I wish I want to wear - I love my husband more than anything on this earth, but I can not be the best wife and make him the happiest I can, before I am happy in my own skin - and a mother.. Well.. I am ready.. I want to have a baby.. But I am dead scared of getting pregnant cause of my weight - I wouldn't hasitate if I was 100 lbs lighter - If I was in shape..

Sometimes I stop up and look in the mirror and just think to my self "what have you done to your self" ... The thing that makes me even more depressed is that I know what to do to fix this shit.. I know it way too well.. I have been obsessed with food and diets ALL of my adult life.. I know every fucking detail about every fucking diet that is out there..

And I am just so sick of my self.. I am THE queen of talks.. I am the queen of planning and never doing it.. You guys know it.. You guys have seen me do it over and over again.. You do not gain 35 lbs over a year not being the queen of excuses - cheats - talks..

This year - I will make a change.. This moment I will make this change.. Ladies, I know you have heard this before but I truely am done disappointing my self..

I'm going to stop the wall of text cause I am actually going to move my butt and get some exercise for a change..

<3

Day2..

I feel like I am going to pass out or something.. When will this fucking cold be done.. I have been sick for almost 3 weeks now :S - Today I am at work - and I am thanking God for it being a slow day.. I feel horrible... This week I am only supposed to work 2 days - but I am not sure if I will come to work tomorrow and on Wednesday..

Do you guys think I might feel better if I "sweat it out" at the gym.. I mean I can't really breath.. Is that even "healthy" ?

Anywho..

@Miranda: Ya my hubby need to gain weight.. A bunch of it.. He - his mom- his grandpa and so on - they all have really fast metabolism which means they have a really hard time to gain weight - until they are like 40 ish .. His highest weight was like 158 lbs (that was when he was training ALOT) - and now he is down to 143 ish - and he is like 6" tall  so ya.. He is very very very skinny now.. His BMI is now like 19 ish and he looks like he is made of skin and bones... So he needs to gain some weight.. He says it tok him a year of hard training to get up to 158... So this will be intressting lol..

I beg to God that our kids get his skinny genes... and not my fatty ones lol

@Sammy: I <3 you missy ^^ Just sayin ^^


I'm gonna finish this post now.. Too :S to focus lol


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Happy new year ladies!

I hope you all had a great celebration and are ready to grab the new year by it's balls! As a true new year rutine, I am going to put up this years to do list hehe

1. I am finally going to get my drivers license... 
2. I am going to figure out what I want to do with my career by this summer and start putting the plan into action. 
3. Exercise!!! I really need to get back in shape.. 
4. Get rid of all this extra weight... First step is to lose all the stupid weight I gained last year. 
5. Make a new close irl friend... 

Also this year - hubby and I are going to try to get pregnant. We aren't going to do it right away. We just have agreed on going for it this year. We both have agreed to take some time to get back in shape - I need to lose some weight.. He needs to gain some weight (oh the irony lol) - anywho - I wanna lose a minimum of 50 lbs before we start trying for it.. and that is ttly doable..
I am going to keep using the foods allowed for now - and after my mom goes home (She is arriving on Thursday and will leave on Sunday) - I am going to go back on my 2 shake and a high protein meal again. I am going to eat high protein, low carb stuff just as I want during the weekends to get the weekend break. I lost good amount of weight both on the low carb, and the 2 shake and a "salad" diet before.. And I think if I hadn't gone on a huge binge mode that I would be able to keep the weight off too..

Leaving that in the past now.. I am going to make a change to the food allowed tab and make a list for the low carb stuff too.

Erm.. What else.. Ya.. I have been sick since before Christmas, this cold is getting worse.. It's just so WTF lol .. I get better for couple of days, and then it gets really bad again, and get I get better for half a day, to feel worse later lol It is so annoying :P Oh and as if everything was blissful, I got my period last night . Great way to start the newyears wont you say so lol.. Tomorrow is time to get back to reality, work it is.. It will be so hard to get up that early.. But this week its only 3 days of work, so it's not that bad.

Anyway, should get off for now :) Wishing you all a great day and hope that this year will bring you loads of joy, happiness, and skinny habits hehe


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