No excuses!

After a slow start to June I am finally on track. It's great to see so many of you joining me on "No excuses June". I have updated the page, but feel free to leave a comment with changes and I will make sure to update them asap. :)

This weekend I took a huge step, and spent a great deal of money on my self. I rarely do that anymore, but I felt that this was something that would benefit me too much to be ignored. I bought a crosstrainer!

I have said this before, I am ashamed of being out and about trying to workout where there is a bunch of tiny girls in tiny shorts and tanks looking like ballerinas jogging on the mill like that is nothing when I am weezing after 10 mins on whatever machine. So I am bringing the gym to me.. And it is finally being delivered today! My husband promised to put it together for me tonight, and I must admit that I am really looking forward to it.

I have moved out our dining-table (we rarely used it anyways, since we mostly eat in the kitchen), and make space to have it in the living-room. There are no excuses left.. I can watch TV, talk to my husband, watch my son play and still be able to do something but sitting on my ass on the couch...

NO MORE EXCUSES!!!!

I am going to start by seeing what is the longest amount of time I can spend on it, and then keep adding to it minute by minute over time. And my goal is to be able to do 60 mins on it without passing out...

Anyways.. Looking forward to a new me... Remember ladies... No excuses.. Lets be honest with our selves and I am sure that's when we can achieve whatever we are aiming for.

Plan..

This post is mostly for me getting my thoughts on "paper" - so feel free to ignore it if you wanna.

Eats

Right after waking up - Drink a large glass of water, and take a dose of vitamin mineral pill.
Breakfast - Smoothie (Recipes from this book with subs to fit local food) + Green tea
Lunch - Salad made of quiona, edame beans, avocado, mix lettuce, nuts/seeds, beans/peas/lentils, veg
Snack - Fruit, hard-boiled egg-whites, coffee
Dinner - half a portions of whatever I am making for my family topped with extra salad/veggies
Snack - Tea, 10 gram piece of dark chocolate

Workouts

30 mins of w/e that gets heart-rate up

My goal is to add 5 mins each week until I reach 60 mins, and then add 5 mins every other week until I reach 120 mins.

Back!

We had a nice trip - the weather Gods wear kind to us and we only had half a day with not so nice weather. I got on the scale and I'm up 3 lbs.. And you know what... I take it... I haven't been feeling good (had no BM), and I think I have either had a really bad allergic reaction to something or I am getting a cold cause my throat has been sore and a tad swollen since Friday.. 

But today is a new day.. I am going to drink LOADS of water and tea to just get my body moving and get rid of what ever I can get rid of.. 

Today I am also joining forces with Miranda and going on a Protein and veggie diet.. She is going to do the 30 day shred - but with the weather finally being OK I want to get some running in.. So I think I will do a mix of the Shred, running, hitting the gym, and wiifit on the days I don't really have energy to do something more. We (the baby and I) are also going to take an advantage of the nice weather and go on long strolls. 

So I am going to remember that I eat to live not live to eat... 

And to keep my body moving... 

And stop being an utter idiot... 

Now lets have a great new start to this week and stick to it! 

<3 

Up and down!

First I want to explain the weird post some of you commented. I did make the post about wanting a divorce and moving to Norway - but after TK made a comment on it I removed the post..

Having it out here made it way to real - and that is a feeling I do want to act on. My relationship is having more lows than ups lately.. I am annoyed and screaming at hubby a whole lot.. Almost everything he does bugs me - but I also know that he doesn't mean any harm - and boys will be boys.. I am also sure that the PPD is playing a good part on it all.

On the bright side - I am starting to feel better. My mood is lightning and I think the depression is over (well as over as it can be for me lol) .. Our argues have been less the last couple of days and even though he still does a bunch of stupid things (like not washing his hands before he preps the formula for the kid) I am not off the edge because of it. So this one time, it wasn't blogger being weird, I actually removed the post :) Thank you so much for caring so much.. You make me feel less lonely :)

As far as my PT plan goes, it hasn't been going so well.. It hasn't been a priority due to several things.. On other hand I have also had the chance to practice some of the PT's advice and have been able to adjust it to fit my daily rutine better. I think part of the reason why he wanted me to drink that insane amount of water is to feel more full - so what I do is that I drink a large glass of water before each meal and when ever I feel hungry before/instead of munching on something. The drinking 2 glasses of water for each cup of coffee is out - but I only drink a cup a day so I don't feel bad about it. Also instead of having half a liter of water with lemon in the morning, I just drink a large glass of water with lemon in it. Half a liter made me feel so sick and I wasn't able to take care of the baby for like 30 mins after cause I felt so sick.. And lets be honest, I can not , not focus on the baby in the early morning.

Walking for 30 mins twice a days doesn't really fit my days either. I go for a stroll with the baby almost every mid day for 1-2 hours.. So I am sticking to that instead of parting it in two small walks. But I have been thinking that the reason why he probably wants me to part them is to get more activity during the day and I rather do something else instead. I am going to get out and remove the dust from my exercise DVDs and do those, or just WiiFit on the days where I'm tire - and try to do my best to hit the gym 3 times a week. But I must say I will be happy as long as I do 30 mins of something after the kid goes to bed.

I have also made the decision of cutting down on carbs now that I am eating less and less wheat. I am thinking that let my carbs only come from fruit/veggies after lunch. If I manage to stick to it, it will down my calories a whole lot.. (I tend to have a huge carb binge around dinner time... )

I have been avoiding the scale a whole lot lately.. I have been really bloated.. After I have had the baby and got my period back.. They have been hell.. I have cramps that remind me of the early stages of the delivery.. And I bleed a whole lot.. Sorry for the TMI btw.. Anyways, I made an appointment with the midwife that I went to for my check-ups while I was pregnant and had a check up just to see that nothing was wrong, and she said that everything looked fine - that it probably was my bodies reaction to getting the periods back.. I really hope it gets better soon cause I have never ever had period like this.. Did you guys btw know that you need to do a whole lot of Kegel exercises for your womanly parts to get back in the shape after birth? lol.. She said 3 times a day - 10 mins each time... So yeah... I have been doing them, but far from that much.. So yeah, gotta work on that too.. Anyways, getting back to my point, my period should be over by Tuesday, but I am getting on the scale tomorrow and starting from there again..

I have made this reminder with reasons why I want to do this on my cell phone and I am going to revisit it and add to the reasons every time I feel week or feel like I want to quit, or binge.. I need to learn that this should not be a diet, but a life style.. Making healthy choices, having smaller portions.. Staying active every day..

I need to be off now.. I will catch up with your blogs a little later today :) Hope you are having a great weekend!

<3

Gaining...

The christening and having visitors over went pretty OK.. But with all the eating out and ignoring calorie contents + no exercise but mall walking, I have gained a few pounds...

It really makes me feel like I just keep failing since I have been gaining instead of losing weight ever since I stopped breastfeeding the kid... But I am not planning on giving up.. In couple of hours I have my first PT session where the guy seems to be really good at both nutrition and working with people that have illnesses like mine.. So hopefully he will put up a proper plan for me and get me on my way..

I am also getting on track with my eating again.. Yesterday I spent a couple of hours cooking up a whole lot of food for hubby, I portioned them up and put the in the freezer. This way, all he has to do is to defrost it and cook some pasta/rice/potato to go with it - and I wont have to think about his food for like 2 weeks. I don't really mind doing it this way for a while.. We can not keep doing it always cause the kid is about to start on solid foods soon and it is important that he sees and understand proper family meal time.. But yeah, we are still a couple of months away from that.

I am going back to have my dinners pre-made from low cal and low carb producers. There is this swedish brand which focuses on it, and their meals are under 400 calories and are low carb since the carb part of the meals are wheatberries or quinoa. For lunches I'm sticking to protein shakes and low cal veggie soups from weight watchers.. Whole wheat crackers with some sort of protein on it for breakfast and full up on coffee, tea, ice-tea and snack on fruit and green veg. my calories will stick around 1100-1300 which is just in the range for me.

Anyways.. I have talked about my plans plenty of times before.. Now lets see if I can actually stick to it.. Wish me luck (I am pretty sure I will need it with the PT session coming up! )


<3

PS: How do you drag your butt out for some exercise after a looooong day of stuff happening? I seem to keep lacking the motivation.. I do manage to get in a good session when I get to the gym but getting there seems to be hell lately...

Gym!

Going to join this gym that is 15 mins walk away from out house tomorrow.. and my goal is to go there 3 times a week and the first thing I want to do is to get started on the C25K on the mill! Weather isn't getting better and if I am to do this thing - this is my only option! I talked to hubby about it - and as this extra push my BFF asked me to send her a picture from me being at the gym 3 times a week!

So this is a good thing! I have been pretty sick the last few days - must be something in the weather, so I never really went through with the shake thing more than a couple of days.. But yeah.. Tomorrow is a new day and I am looking forward to yet another start.

<3

Thinking ahead..

Those of you who have been reading my blog know that I love planning. I love thinking ahead and plan ect.. I often suck at following the plans - but still...

You also might remember that this pregnancy wasn't really planned and that I wanted to lose some more weight we went for it.. Now that it has happened and I am really looking forward to it.. I am also thinking about the time after the baby is born.

I am aware of the fact that having a new born baby will be hard and it will take a whole lot of time and energy - and some of you might even think "oh you didn't put the time into it before why would you do it with a baby around" .. But still..

I am due to have the baby some time in November (will know a more exact date on Monday after the ultrasound) - and I am not planning on doing anything until the new years.. I was thinking that first of my body will need the time to adjust to not being pregnant - and I think it will take some time for us to get used to having the baby there - and Christmas is right around the corner then, and I really don't want to plan to fail.. So I think the smartest option would be to wait until the new year and then go for it.

What I am thinking to do is pretty simple. Since I am getting a better grip of eating and listening to my body - I am going to put away calorie counting. I might do some it some day to have an idea about how much I'm eating - but my main focus will be portion control and to go for what my body asks, AKA eat when being hungry - stop when feeling full.. Thinking about why I want to eat the things I crave before actually having it...   And last and not least.. There wont be any forbidden foods.. This time around everything is allowed within limits.. I always enter the binge mode as soon as I put up a list of "forbidden" foods.. I guess it's normal though.. We want what we can't have right? - And I will keep my food journal of when and what I eat.. It really helps staying aware of the eats without having the insane number stress..

As far as exercise goes - I have a whole bunch of DVD's at home that I am going to put into use.. Lets see - I have a yoga box , a pilates box, Jillian Micheals box1 and box 2.. I am not sure if the pilates box is the right one - but you get the idea.. So I thought that since I will be off work for parental leave, which will last around a year I don't have to worry about getting a sitter - and I can do some of these while the baby is sleep ect. And there will be a bunch of walking cause the baby will need the fresh air and it will be good for us both to get out of the house..

I think one of my problems during this whole weight loss progress , which mostly has been ending up in a gain has been that I have been making it too complicated and I have been putting up unreal goals.. I think I am finally learning that I need to stop comparing my self to others and their progress.. It has taken me almost 30 years to get to this weight.. It wont disappear in a couple of months.. I want to put up my goals of 10 lbs/5kg at the time and go from there..

All small changes - small goal will end up in big amazing results , wont it? :)

Anyways.. I am going to end this wall of text.. I just needed to write down some thoughts..

Wish you all a great weekend!


<3


PS: Thanks for your lovely comments and welcome to new followers :)

Whhhhyyy.....

So today, half way through the work day it start snowing.. ALOT.... First I was upset - specially since I wanted to start C25K with Nasimiyu today and I could feel that I was going on my "excuse mode" ..

And then to make things a tad more meh.. Around dinner time, I warmed up the chicken filet I had made yesterday to realize that it tasted horrible... I was testing this new honey curry seasoning and eow.. The chicken tasted so bad :S .. Hubby, eats pretty much anything... So he ate my chicken filet and I had some of his pasta.. And paste = wheat = I felt every more horrible..

So I was slacking on the sofa - surfing online, reading blogs.. And then I saw this post on K's blog  and here she says: " I read something that said if you really want it, you'll do whatever it takes to get it it... and if you don't, you'll make excuses." ..

So I got my butt out of the couch - and went on and did around 35 mins of WiiFit.. Burned 316 cals - and I don't really think it is that bad.. And then I sat down and tracked my eats on myfitnesspal.. I got me a nice surprise.. Todays net is 318 cals.. And you know what? - I don't hate it ^^

My weight keep going up and down - and I think if I am ever going to keep going down, instead of up - I really need to stick to whatever I am doing...

So baby steps - and keep going at it without changing the plan all the time is the way to go.. And I really think that is the thing that will work the best at the end..

So the plan is :
Eat veggies - fruit and lean protein
Exercise for atleast 30 mins - 5 days a week.



<3

Rant..

Weather is finally getting better.. And I think I should really get my act together with the exercising. I have been thinking about renewing my gym membership, but then I really thought about it.. There is always so many excuses to be made going to the gym.. And i have been talking about how I want to start running for AGES.. And we have the great park next to our place. So I am going to have get my act together.

I'm thinking about running every other day, and do either a Jillian dvd or something else every other day. This way I can ease into it.

Anywho - I am loving the idea of going more low carb - and getting into working out.. This is good. And you know what.. I have been thinking.. The only thing I would have to change if/when I get pregnant is to up the amount of my eats and change the exercise plan.

Anyways.. The weight hasn't being the way I wanted it.. Last week was a bad food week.. But I am getting my act together - Yet again.. hehe

I read this thing some where.. Can't remember where.. But it said "You haven't failed until you give up" - and I am not giving up.. I don't care how many times I mess up and crash.. I will keep going and going..


<3

TGIM?? ...

I am actually glad that it is Monday.. The weekend with no internet has been horrid.. I know that I had the cellphone - and that it is good to have a break from it all - but OMG! I haz needz for my internetz! lol . We bought a new PC on Saturday that I haven't been able to set up because of the lack of internet too - so all in all it was maybe a tad more annoying that it would have been normally.

Yesterday - my eats weren't that good.. They were actually pretty horrid.. But I am not too worried about it. I always get a food kick when I use the painkillers and it was sort of given (thank God I rarely use them anymore - the fibromyalgia Gods have been kind to me the last few months) .. I was very well under my weekly calorie budget , but that said, I still want to take it easy with calories and carbs today.. 

Last week I got inn 6 exercise sessions - all around 30 minutes except from Sunday morning where I got in 1 hour. Pretty happy about it.. Also - the storm has passed our town now - so I am thinking about starting the C25K today or tomorrow. I have to see how late I get home today. 

I want to say thanks for the comments and welcome to the new followers :) 

@ Miranda: The classes are equal to the first year of a bachelor program. But - if I would want to - I could build on with higher level in the same subject - but I doubt that I will. I think if everything goes well - that I will build on it with some project and personal management courses. Will see :) 

@ Claire: I used Myfitnesspal.com - my username there is Kittz30 - so feel free to give me a poke if you want to :) Just make sure to say that it's you - cause the "normal" ppl there freak me out.... 

To the rest of you ladies, thank you so much for the love and support. :) 

Wish you all a great day - and a great week :) 

<3 

*insert smart title here*

I think I have been doing very good this week. I have been making my meals for work the night before - I have been sticking to my exercise plan and worked out 3 day. My net calories are very well under my weekly budget. I have however not lost a single tiny little pound the last couple of days. That made me kind of :S this morning, but then I put on my new jeans and they are getting loose on me.. They were very very tight last week - so this is good.
My first thought when I stepped on the scale was "I am eating too much" - but then I took a step back.. Thought of all the times you girls have talked about the scale standing still - and how you keep going - and now I am fine. I have to understand that even though I am making very good changes in my eating/exercise habits - it will not all change within the week. So my goal is to have a bingefree weekend, where I keep tracking my eats and to get in  another exercise session.
I have to keep remembering that I have done years of harm to my body- and it is my fault that it has reached this weight - and that I can not fix it overnight. That if my goal is to really get slim - and healthy, I can not just jump on a yet another fad diet - fail - binge - and gain more weight.

On another note - I am going to start studying again. When my ex - dumped my ass after I had quite my job and so on - I found that the only thing I could do was to start studying. Mind you, it was online studies since everything else was full - and a private business.. Very very very very expensive. I took a student loan to get by. But I never finished it up. I didn't have the state of mind - I was really behind and couldn't catch up. I e-mailed the school to ask if there was any chance for me to be able to pick up the classes I had paid for and to be able to take exams. And to my biggest surprise, I got an e-mail saying that I had 3 semesters left to complete to classes!

I have 3 classes I can take during the spring semester - and 5 for the fall semester. I have completed the class for one of the fall semesters and I only need to take the exams for it. So my plan is to reread the books for that class and pick up one of the spring classes now. Complete the rest of the fall classes next fall - and the last two classes next spring. The 4 I have to take this fall will be really hard - and I will be a full time student, while I am working full time for 5-6 months. But I think it will be worth it.

I still have to pay to be able to take the exams, and that will cost a bit - but all in all completing this means I haven't been wasting around 20k USD (that's around what I have in student loan for that year :S) - on something I never finished. I need to be really strict with my self, and focus to be able to achieve this. Specially the fall semester, so wish me luck :) Cause I am very sure it's needed...

Work has been very very very still today - which has been perfect for me. I have been looking over the school things, mailing with the school - looking at the classes and so on all day. I ordered a book I needed for one of the classes I will be taking this semester and now I am on my lunch break. I have barely done anything at work today - and to be honest, I don't care at all..

Anywho :)

Official weigh-in will be on Wednesday - so I am not going to worry about the scale not moving for now - and be patient and focus on doing good this weekend - and as I wrote this, I got an e-mail saying there will be cake in the kitchen soon lol - you gotta love the way the office culture is always trying to fatten you up! I am not going to have any.

That said! I am going to finish this wall of text - and wish you all an amazing weekend!

Oh and thanks for all the comments about the running, we have a storm warning here - but that should be over soon - and as soon as it has cleared I am going to start the C25K outside :) Thanks for the push hehe :)

<3

Edit: I am loving this song lately... So I thought I would share it with you ladies :)

Monday .. Woop woop....

OR not :P

It's not exactly a hidden fact that I am not the most happy morning/Monday person..
But today is a great day - and you want to know why? Because I can finally put the whole Christmas, newyears eating out stuff behind me and have my new start :)

I am going to start planning my meals more properly. I have two packs of oatmeal and two frozen weightwatchers dinner left and I am going to have those with some fruit today and tomorrow. And I am going to start making food plans - and I am thinking to have it pretty low carb. I am not going to count carbs, only calories - but I will focus on the right sources of it.

Going for the whole- leaner - browner - greener plan. aaannnnddd I am going to get started with an exercise plan.. I am only aiming for 3 times a week for now.. I am in such a bad shape - that I think aiming for more - would just be aiming to fail. I am not really good at making time and an afford to go to the gym, so I want to start doing the couch25k (properly this time) and combine it with some simple exercises such as push-up, and plank at home.

I am going to reread "you can be thin" again.. It really did put me off all bad carbs - and I think it is a great place to start this whole journey again.

I also came across this article which I think some of you might enjoy reading... I know for a fact that I did..

Anyway, I am going to end this post and try to focus on work. I want to say thanks for all your comments, and say welcome to the new followers..

I still have loads of problems with my dashboard and that fact that it doesn't update all the new blogs I am following - so any tips on how to fix it will be gladly welcomed :(

Edit: 

I also want to put some goals for my self.. As I have mentioned before - I will be going on a trip with my work to Chamonix in March (8th of March). And I want to aim to reach my first GW by then. No matter what the scale says on Wednesday - I still will be looking at a 20 lbs ish loss.. So that's my first goal.. 2 months - 20 lbs.. That is ttly doable.. :) 

Feeling much better!

Thank you girls for your comments yesterday. I was feeling really down, and I guess I let my self get too worked up. I know that we have been very stressed out lately.. Things have been happening none stop and they all have been major changes.

I know for a fact that my hubby loves me and that most of the things he does "wrong" is cause he is a boy and boys are stupid. Most of the time he doesn't even realize that he has said/done something really annoying. And I suppose I am really good at reading too much into things cause of my "wonderful" past with guys. I think I have to really accept that he isn't like any other guy I have been with and that he really doesn't do things to hurt me.

We did talk yesterday and things are OK. We both have things we need to work on. And I think things will be much easier when we are in a more relaxed place and done with everything we have had going on. It's not every year where you move 3 times - one being from another country - get married and start a renovation. So ya.. I think we will be fine.

I think one of the reasons why I am so annoyed is the amount of food I have been eating. 300-500 calories is sort of too little - and has made me very edgy too I think. So I am upping my calories. I am going to eat like I did before the move. That diet really made me feel good in my skin. And I think it is a better diet to combine with training. I have put my limit back to 1200 calories, but I calculated my eats as they were before and most  days will be around 700-900 calories. The balance of carbs vs fats vs proteins will also be more "normal". I am aiming for the 40-30-30% plan. Which is supposed to be a perfect combo for my body type.

Anywho..

Over to something else - I am going to get my tongue pierced again. I used to have one - and I had to take it out when I had to pull out a wisdom tooth. And I have been missing it - so I am finally going to make the appointment and get a new one. I am not sure if should go for the one I had - or have two next to eachother.. I will probably just have the one. I used to love it.. And it was one of my sexy factors.. And I really need to get some of my sexy factors back.. The appointment is next Friday after work :) Yay for that!


I am so not focused today lol sorry for being all over the place.. Just got a call that they are delivering our doors tomorrow after work!

Talking about tomorrow.. We are having dinner at hubby's boss's home.. Sort of Christmas dinner thingie..

Gonna publish this post for now.. Can't focus on it at all ..


<3

Ouch...

Hubby had to hit the shooting club after work so we couldn't go to the gym. I asked him to get my home before he went - and I just finished doing day 1 week 1 from Jillians ripped in 30 days plan (got it online from this blog on tumblr- let me know if you want the link)..  And OMG.. I know I shouldn't get this surprised each freaking time.. But I felt like I was going to puke during the warm up lol

I was sad over not hitting the gym - but I feel so much better after this session.

Oh and hubby was late picking me up from work- so I walked down the road instead of waiting for him at the office.

I must say I am also very confused over this HRM thingi.. Ugg.. I was sure it war properly on- but seems like only the pulse counter was on and not the calorie counter.. Such a d'oh moment :(

Anywho.. Off to make dinner Chicken filet- veg and rice on the menu for today.


<3

*ouch*

I guess you don't know how bad your shape is until the day after a workout lol.. My everything aches.. But it is a good ache I guess :)... I have lost the 0.4 kg I gained- so that is good. I do feel sort of bloated.. I think it is cause of the late period.. 

@ Aye Ell :         I haven't really been hanging out with that many new woman- but it is not that long ago we changed our offices and are in the same building with all the others- and there are a whole lot of woman in other deps.. So I dunno really.. 

Anyway.. I am dead tired today.. Got barely 5 hours of sleep... And that is way way way too little for me.. I like a good 8-10 hours hehe.. Not that I ever get it unless I am home sick.. Even then I tend to wake up way too early.. I used to be able to sleep all day.... Hmm.. 

Over to something ttly different... I found a white hair... I know it is really shallow to say what I am going to say.. But... A white hair... I am so not ready for it!.. I don't want it.. :( I just turned 29 and what does the universe toss me... A white hair... COME ON!!! *sigh* lol .. I guess now I have a reason to dye my hair hehe.. 

I did pretty OK with food yesterday. Having more small snacks (fruit) made the day so much easier- and I wasn't too hungry by dinner time. So that is good.. 

I don't have much to say today.. Sort of too tired to focus.. But I just wanna say again thanks to you girls.. Everytime I feel alone in this- or when I feel like no one understand.. There you are.. Cheering me on.. 

<3 

Ugg..

Just lost everything I wrote cause Chrome decided to crash... *sigh* -- And I was about to publish it... Not even a draft was saved..

What I said what that I am back at work... And it is good to be back.. But the guy that told me I needed a gastro is back to work.. He is in another dep now- but I still see him all the time.. He has been away for over a month- and he has lost a bunch of weight. The neck fats are down to two rolls only now heh...

The good thing about it is that I will use him as a motivation of what I will never become.

Other thing is that we are actually finally going back to gym today.. We have been using the WiiFit and I have been walking on the treadmill.. But it is just not the same.. Hubby is is the most horrid shape he has ever been too.. So he really needs to get back to training. He has his first competition in November. And that is not that far away. So we are going to go home after work- have a snack - change and hit the gym..

His membership runs out soon, I think in end of this or next month... Mine will run out by mid March and we both can not wait to change to another place.. The one we have now is really expensive---but it has the most sucky opening hours- and very few cardio machines.. So it is always a long line to get to those.. Which is really a waste of time.. We will see what is close to where we are going to move to - and see what sort of opening hours - and options we have.

Other thing I was thinking about was this convo I had with hubby yesterday while we were grocery shopping. He mentioned that he never thought about the fat/calories and so on content of the food he eats. That he didn't  have a problem saying no to food that he knows isn't good for him. And that made me think.. I have NEVER    been able to do that. I am in the bulimic- Ednos category.. More ednos than mia I would say my self.. Cause I tend to over eat often- but the B/P sessions can stop for months at the time.. As I have maybe mentioned before I have no idea what a "normal" portion size is/ or should be.. I have never had used food for food.. It has been something I would use for comfort.. For making my self feel better.. It has always been my personal choice of drug.. I am wondering now.. Should I seek help for this? I mean.. No one will take me serious.. Look how fat I am lol... I dunno... I have been having many different thoughts and feeling about it.. I think I might just try to keep to my eating plan- and see where it takes me.

Talking about eating plan.. Does anyone of you have a myfitnesspal account? And if you do would you wanna be my friend there? My user name is : Gela82.. I have given my self a new start there and I am aiming to use the program properly tracking everything.

Hmm.. What else... Erm ya.. I am going to try to keep my scale time to only twice a week. I tend to lose motivation if I have gained.. And it is another failour moment I don't need. I mean it is not like I aim to fail- but  the weight can be so different from day to day with the water weight and so on.. So ya.. I think I am going to try to stick to only Tuesdays and Thursdays for now.. (if I can manage)..

I also want to thank Mia and AJ for the comment on my last post.. You girls are both amazing.. <3 :)

@Miranda: The flat we live in now is nice, but not the best area to be living at, that is one of the main reasons why we are moving. I am wondering though. How are the aparments and houses over there? :) I know the nordics tend to have light and more minimalistic designs but I don't really know if that is so different from the US.

@ Run: Ya the treamill is light pink and it is very cute hehe.. It isn't a proper treadmill though- it is ment for walking/power walking and not running. I still think it is a very good option for a rainy day :)


<3

HSGD...

I have been thinking about how to kick start the counting again.. I haven't gained or lost anything the last week ish.. I am going on HSGD starting today. I tried SGD and it was horrid.. Specially since I count in all veg and fruit.. I ended up being way too light headed and cranky.. Unable to focus on work..
HSGD has more realistic amount of calories. And I feel like starting it, I wont be putting my self up to fail.. I hate the feeling of failure..
I have made a tab on pages overview for it. Makes it easier to keep track of the numbers. Today is a 900 cal day.. I don't feel stressed about it at all.. I finally have a plan for breakfast/lunch at work.. I am going to start drinking my protein shake again (103 cals)- and for lunch I am going to have a cup of soup (70 cal) and an apple (72 cal). I might have a rice cake by end of the day if I am still hungry. I am also introducing smoothies at home.. Hubby has never really tried them and hasn't been so keen on trying them.. But I think they are a great snack.. And I like the sweetness you get from it without having to have something ttly unhealthy.. The recipe I am going to try today is for mango smoothies- half a banana - 1 DL light yoghurt- and 1 DL chopped frozen mango. That is around 163 cals. I think this recipe can be mixed with all sort of berries but I have been craving something sweet lately, so I think mango is a good choice.
The reason for this is that we are going to start training again.. FINALLY!!! We talked about it- and we are going to just go home after work- grab a snack and hit the gym. Hubby is going to start his shooting training as well- so he will have an extra day at their club, which I will use on chill girl time..
We are thinking about doing it like this : Mon-tues: gym- Wednesday: his club training/my girl night- Thur:gym- Friday: date night. Saturday: gym. Sunday slack off day.
We aren't sure if we can make it to the gym on all the days we want because of the house hunting and so on- but on those days we are thinking about going for a run or just do WiiFit..

I have been thinking about my eating habits, and I have noticed that I prefer having my food planned- and to not have that many options.. I like to eat the same thing everyday cause then I know what I get my self into.. I sort of feel like I will go on a binge if I don't plan my eats.. I know I shouldn't use it as an excuse but ya.. Does any of you feel the same way?

Anyways..

We saw a flat yesterday.. 3 bedrooms and so on.. On a great location.. But it lacked a whole lot of storage space.. So we are most likely just going to nvm it.. We have another one we are going to see after work today.. This one only has two bedroom. but it is right next to the park where we got married.. So we will see..  I would love to have a town house.. But hubby is being all "oh it is too much work".. So for now we are just looking into flats.. And the bigger ones aren't that great.  So we will see how it goes..

Hmmm... Got really distracted here .. Started looking over all the flat we could think of looking at and made a list for hubby.. And I think we are going to have a new look at the one we saw yesterday again tomorrow.. We might just go for one with 2 bedroom instead of 3 and go for the prime location.. And then maybe move in a few years and buy a house/town house.. He just can't deal with the idea of a house atm.. So it's a tad meh.. But I can sort of understand why he is saying what he is saying so... But ya ...

Anyways :) I think I will just publish this post hehe, can't seem to be able to focus..

<3

Edit: Ttly forgot ^^ @Ulla.. Honey if you are reading this.. I ttly miss you.. Hope everything is OK and OMG yaaaay for the being half hitched ^^ So so so yaaay ^^Does this mean you might move over to the DK?? Have I mentioned that Copenhagen is only a 10 mins train ride away from here ^^

Looking forward to see you back in couple of weeks ish :) <3

A fix for my fibro pains?? A tad of flex.. And a whole lot of blab :)

Aiit.. So I haven't had the time to make a proper post in a while. Things at work have been INSANE since I got back from the honeymoon. Hopefully as I mentioned in my last post it all will be chill from the next week :)

@FedUp: You are right hehe.. It is sort of funny how the work was dead and suddenly there is barely time to breath :)

Now.. Lets start with the trip to Germany.

The weekend was good. I met my aunt and gran (from my dads side).. I don't meet them much and haven't really had a relationship with them since my mum remarried the asshole of a stepdad I had.. But that's a story for some other time. My gran has bought us a flat as our wedding gift. The flat is in Iran (Where I was born).. According to her the flat is worth around 20k USD.. And she is at the moment renting it out for around 2k USD per month. She asked me what I wanted to do with the flat and after hubby and I talked it over, we think we gonna have it rented out for 1-2 year and have them to save the money up for us- and then sell the flat and send us all the rent and the amount they sell it for. If everything goes after plan it will be a good bunch of cash I will get and with that I can cover my study loan and the left over house loan I have back in Norway.
I think it is really nice of her to think of me even though we barely have any contact.

My aunt she has her own practice where she does acupuncture and stuff like that- she also practices herbal medicine. She has given me this plan which can ease the pain I have with the fibromyalgia, it is said to be even able to cure the illness. I do not think that I will get rid of it- but I think it will help a whole lot.

The plan is in 4 steps.. First I am going to empty my gut.. (yes it is as yuck as it sounds lol)- I will take lax tonight - and from tomorrow I am going to start on this powder mix- I have to drink it every morning and night- and after I am going to take an spoon of organic aloe vera gel. I am going to do this for 14 days- then take a week off- and do it again for 14 days. I am going to use the lax once before each 14 day period. (So this will last for 5 weeks)

When that we have this plan to make my stomach acid normal- So i have to drink yet another yucky powder twice a day. And I am going to blend some drips I got from her in a glass of water and drink one glass before and one glass after lunch and dinner. 6 weeks later I will add another drip which I have to use for 3 more weeks. ( total of 9 weeks)

When this is all done I can start taking couple of pills in the morning and night to get rid of the shit that is causing the pain in my joints. I need to do this for at least 4 weeks.

So if everything goes after plan I should be almost pain free after 18 weeks. Starting tomorrow- it will be done by the end of this year. She said to get the for best result I should try to avoid dairy products - red meat- pork- and keep the intake of wheat and eggs low.

I have been playing with the idea of going flexitarian/vegetarian for a good while and I don't see any reason to post pond it any longer. I am sort of sick of everything meat related and after seeing a couple of episodes I have been even more sick with the idea of meat. I have bought some vegetarian and soya product which I will be replacing some of my food with already from tomorrow. Good for me... For my body and for nature. Hubby wont be partaking in most of it.. He is using the training as an excuse for not doing it.. But then again I am the one doing most of the cooking in this house.. So I guess he will eat what I serve him lol .. And it's not like we are going to cut out everything right away. He can still have some white meat if he wants to.

Oh and I sort of got my pre birthday- birthday gift from hubby today ^^ I don't know if you guys remember me mentioning that I really wanted to try Brazilian blow dry after I read this article on Nicole Richie's blog.. And it is supposed to last for 3 months... Imagine not having to stress with my hair every single morning.. mmm..  Anywho... I am in this deal of the day site and they had it as the deal of the day today- so I will be able to getting it for 1/3 of the price it normally costs... So I was telling him that I was considering to get it.. And he got it for me ^^ (Yes girls.. He spoils me way too often and I must admit I love it ^^).. I am really looking forward to try and see how it goes..

We are also finally going to get back on track with the training.. He really has to start working out and getting ready.. He has his first big competition in November. This means that we both can finally start working out properly. I think the first 3 weeks will be really hard but then it gets easier and easier. I am really looking forward to all of this.. Working hard and focus on everything until end of this year and start next year fresher.. healthier. Lighter.. and most of all balanced.

I have a weight loss goal for this year, I am counting it down as 18 weeks which is almost what is left of this year.. I which to reach my first main goal weight, which gets me off the morbidly obese BMI.. AKA 174 lbs.. To reach this goal I will have to have a steady weight loss of 3,5 lbs per week. Considering how fat I am and how much I have to lose, I do not think the number is too high.

Anyways gonna go spend some time with hubby.. Wishing you all a great weekend girls <3

Lunch break post :)

Today has been sort of busy at work. The fact that I have been very tired is probably also a factor in why I haven't been on much hehe.
I didn't get up on time for the Wii this morning. We got to bed soo late.. My hubby was being a brat playing on the wii for hours lol.. He is sort of cute this way and his bratness (if that is a word but you know what I mean) is one of the reasons why I love him.. But he had today off-- and I didn't and around 4 hours of sleep is just a little too little for me. He is the type of person that falls sleep before his head hits the pillow.. While I have trouble getting sleep and I am a very light sleeper. Anyways.. I am going to do the program tonight.

Our gym hours are still very crappy until end of this month- I dunno if you remember me posting about their changed summer time hours.. By the time we are home and on our way barely 30 mins of their opening hours is left.. Hubby and I drive together to/from work since he works outside the city he can drive me to work- it is a 5 mins ish detour. But that means that I always have to wait for him after work- and that we get home late cause of the rush hours. We are going to change to a different one as soon our contract runs our. But that is still months away. Mine runs out around end of March I think and his close to end of this year.

We are also looking to buy a new bigger flat now. We saw this one close to the park where we got married, and I really loved it. We gonna try and see if we can get a viewing of the place today. Here are some pictures from the add. Some painting- and our own furniture would make it really nice. The balcony is HUGE!! its almost as big as my old flat in Oslo lol.. And the park being walking distance from it is very very nice. The area is also close to very nice school and so on for the future plans. So keep them crossed :)

Meh, lunch break was over 15 mins ago and I sort of got distracted.

Right.. So I got on the scale today. And I am 6.1 lbs down since we got back from the honeymoon. So far so good.. 124 to go lol :P I have changed my goal weight again.. I keep having trouble deciding

I keep losing track of my thought. It is really busy at work today. I guess I will just publish this post and see if I can make one later..

<3

Monday morning.. *yawn*

So I'm back to work.. And it is still vacation mode here. So it's not much to do. But there are a whole new bunch of people starting today. Our company is growing so there are a whole bunch of new employees here. Thinking about work :) I am officially an employee here. My trial contract was out a week ish ago. So this is great ^^

Anyways.. I keep getting AFK here.. Damn work getting in my way of blog time :P . But almost lunch time :)
I have a new plan about what my eating/training days will be like. So this is what I am thinking:

- During work day I will eat couple pieces of fruit where one will be a banana and couple of corn/rice cake. Drink green tea- coffee and water. - If we are going to the gym, I will have a protein shake after. If not then some low fat yoghurt or something similar that is low in calorie. - Work days aren't normally where my problems are.. It is dinner time I need to get a grab on. I am putting down a few rules for dinner time, and these are:

• If I have a "I am starving" day. I will start my meal with a green salad. 
• I will eat only one portion. If I am still hungry I can have an additional portion of veg as a second. 
• I will have my food served- I will use a blue one since so many say it will keep the appetite down, and well blue is pretty.
• I will make my portion on the kitchen counter and not serve all the food on the table. ( For me it's easier to overeat if I everything is just there).. 
• I will only eat oven baked/ grilled/ steamed or cooked food. No frying ( We don't fry our food that often, but still)

- I am aiming to keep my daily calories no more than 1200. But I will be going on a weekly amount of calorie and not daily. I want to be able to work around it for dinners out. So a weekly amount of 8400 per week.
- I will also write down everything I eat in the old fashion way- and punch it in my counter in the end of the day. Most of the times I tend to overeat if I have room in my calorie budget. So I think maybe it's better to calculate it all in the end of the day to prevent that..
- I also am going to only weigh in twice a week. I have put Mondays and Thursdays for that. Once a week is too little for me, I would just ignore. But twice a week should be doable. I didn't get on the scale this morning,  so this week it will be Tuesday and Thursday. - Tonight I am going to take out the measuring tape- and measure up stuff. I am going to keep the numbers and redo it once a month. I think sometimes the scale can be harsher, so I guess it is something to look at when the scale is telling me my work isn't giving results.

Talking about "my work"- I am also aiming to get my butt to the gym 3 times a week. I am not going to aim for too much cause it means I can fail on it. At the gym I want to focus on cardio and light weight training. I also am going to use the couch to 5k to warm up or to finish up or instead of other cardio machines. I don't know how to work it in yet- but it will be there.. I really want to start running. It is one of my "can't do" things.. So I really really want to do it. There is a plan for it for those who want to do it on the treadmill. So it should be doable. I don't really see that much difference in the "normal" and the treadmill version of it.. I have the app on my cellphone so that makes everything much easier.

I am also going to get better on getting in a session on our WiiFitPlus.. We haven't used it yet since we bought it right before the wedding. So tonight I am going to put up the settings and fix it to my numbers. I aim to use it on the  days we don't get to the gym OR maybe I will even try to get up earlier in the mornings and do a before work yoga or something :) I don't know. One step at the time is what I aim for.

Hum... I think that is it for now. Eating less and get moving. That is the most sane way of doing it, isn't it?

As in for more pictures- here are a couple from the church and so on and one from our honeymoon, I will have to revome them before we go to Germany. :)

Edit: Pictures removed

Gotta get off here.. Kaos at work hehe..

<3