Been a while since I updated..
I guess I haven't really had much to say...
I'm still pregnant and getting bigger by the minute.. But it's not bothering me as much any more. I updated my weight on myfitnesspal and I am still 3 lbs under the weight I was before I got pregnant.. But I don't really care about that either..
I had a check-up with this doctor at the hospital (they send women with BMI over 30 to them) - and he told me my pregnancy had been going much better than they expected. I haven't gained weight, my blood work is good, the baby is growing the way he is supposed to, and he is strong and healthy.. They will however induce me if he isn't born on his due date, which means if he isn't out he will be by Dec 4th!
My baby is healthy and perfect.. My hubby loves me more than anything on this earth.. What more could I really ask for?
I mean, I am not happy with my body or my weight as it is today.. But I can see that the way I think of weight, losing weight ect is different.. This pregnancy has thought me that my body isn't working against me cause it wants me to feel horrid.. Of course, I have bad days.. Of course I have days where I HATE the way I feel about it.. But it's not its fault.. I did this to my body, and it will not change unless I change..
I have days where I think about my bad days with binges and purging, and you know what.. I can say for sure that those days are behind me.. The days where I would think of starving to get short term results.. The days where I would blame my body being against me.. They are behind me.. I'm not saying I wont have bad days.. I know I will.. But it is just different now..
My plan is still to start on my "diet" starting new years.. To begin with my focus will be to keep my portions under control, and to eat clean. I still aim to reach my goal by end of next year, but I also will take it step by step..
I was looking at some old pictures.. And in those pictures my weight was halfway what my goal is.. But in those days - I didn't really worry.. I went to the gym.. I ate.. I was partying a whole lot.. But I didn't care.. I felt like I was the sexiest woman walking around.. That is what I want to go back to.. I want to feel good about my self.. I am tired of not being happy with me..
I will let you guys know when the little guy is here.. And I will do my best to put up more updates, but I doubt I will have the chance to before I start the new plan..
My mother is going to come and stay with us for a week mid December (Lord have mercy lol).. And my gran (well she isn't really my gran, but she is the closest family member I have) - is going to stay with us during Christmas and new year.. Along with a new born baby our weeks will be pretty packed the upcoming few weeks! My bff and her family will also be visiting the first or second week of January for a long weekend, but that is still some time away :)
I want you all to keep taking care of your self, and I am doing my best to comment on blogs.. I do read most of your posts though..