I'm sorry for being so much MIA lately.. I just don't know what to post... On one hand I have a hard time wrapping my head anything but the baby - and being pregnant.. On the other hand I do have a whole lot of thoughts about the things I want to do after the baby is out (with my weight, health ect) but I feel like a dork talking about it when it's so far away.. But anyways :) Here it goes...
I am looking more and more forward to end of this year - having the baby here with us - and next year and the changes it will bring. I think it will be a very different journey than anything I have been on before.. And it is very very scary.. But I think.. I hope.. That I/we will be fine..
What do you guys think of the name Caspian for our baby boy?? And no please don't say Prince Caspian from the chronicles of Narnia.. As some of you might remember I am Persian, living in the Nordics and I really wanted our boy to have a name that can be related with Persia, but also one that doesn't sound weird to the nordics. We also have a VERY nordic last name - so I wanted the first name to be a tad more me.. Caspian is related to the Caspian Sea which is a landlocked sea in north-west Asia ( north of Iran) which was named after the ancient Caspians (or Caspis) who used to live on its shore. My grandmother from my dads side, and my grandfather from my mothers side both have their roots from that area. So it's not a randomly picked name .. I also like that the name is special and that there wont be 100s of other guys with the same name as our baby boy.
Over to something else. I saw this video the other day - and I really loved it.. If you have the time - it really is worth having a look. The clips name is "hungry for change" .. So if the link doesn't work - you should be able to find the whole thing on youtube. :)
I have lately been looking more and more into how to cure my body using food.. I mean.. We all eat food.. We all have had our issues with food.. It has for years been an enemy.. Wouldn't it be amazing to become friend with food and use it to live a healthy life?? At times it seems like a dream... But I mean lets face it, there are way too many people who has done it - why wouldn't I be able to do the same?? The main point.. The main reason why I think these things can work is because there is no food abuse.. There are no diets.. The main rule is to eat what your body needs, give it nutrients for it to feel full and for it to be able to heal..
This pregnancy has been hard.. And I think it would have been so much easier if I had a normal and healthy relationship with food and my body - and with my mind.. I really don't wish the state of mind I have been to any others.. And if I was to give an advice to anyone who is thinking about getting pregnant it would be this:
Have a healthy relationship with food and your body
Have a healthy state of mind where you don't hate your body and the changes that it will have
Make sure to be in a healthy weight/BMI range
Don't misunderstand me.. I am really looking forward to have this baby here.. But I wish I had been a better place with my self, so I could enjoy the journey more.
My hubby and I have been talking more and more lately.. And I have been trying my best to be open to him about what is on my mind.. And it's starting to feel so much easier.. I am really happy to have you girls around for when I need to vent - cause you girls always understand.. But I must admit that things are starting to feel so much "lighter" now that I can talk to him.. He still doesn't understand it all.. He still get the "OMG you what" look on his face from time to time.. But now I know.. I don't have to carry it all alone.. I know that I don't need to worry about my eating habits/issues around the baby cause he will be there to notice if something is wrong. And I know he will be there to help and support me on getting healthy even if he doesn't always like the idea of it. It is a weird feeling.. To have someone really care about me.. My health.. My body.. It's so so weird..
This is another page I have been on more and more lately - It is an amazing page if someone is looking into clean eating - and to rehab the body with food.
At the moment.. I am mostly doing research and are working on my mind and how to befriend food.. I don't want to do any drastic change while I am pregnant, but my thoughts are to get on these things starting new year.. If any of you have any other similar pages/books ect I should look into, feel free to let me know :)
Anywho.. I'm gonna finish up for now.. Take good care of you all ladies..
I'm sorry for being awol so much lately.. I am so freaking tired all the time.. We had our vacation and we have been back to work for a week.. Working from 08 - 5 really takes its toll on me.. Luckily people are still on their vacation mode and we don't have that much to do at work else I'd be dead!!! hehe
Thank you all so much for the comments on my last post.. I am relaxing more about the weight and I am happy to report that I haven't been gaining since my last post.. I had another check up last Thursday and the nurse is really happy with my weight - which makes me relax more and more about it. We also got to hear our little boys heart.. They tried to listen to it when I was the last time - but he was moving too much for them to be able to get a hold of him.. This time we got to hear it properly and it was just so amazing :)
I have also decided how I am going to take out my maternity leave.. I will start taking out vacation days from around second week of Novemeber - and I will go on my leave from the 19th.. and I will be out the rest of the 2012 - and I am taking 2013 off.. I told my boss that I was going to start going back to work starting January 2014 - but only part time.. They were fine with it, and they are open for changes as long as I let them know about the changes 2 months prior to the change. During this time we will have to watch the way we spend our money, but we did the math and we will be just fine :) Worst comes to worst we will have to dug into savings.
We are also almost done with baby room and all the things he needs. We just need to buy a couple of small stuff but that is about it.
When my mum was here she bought a chair for the baby - this is a Norwegian brand and the things from them are a little more expencive the "normal" stuff - but I guess you get what you pay for.. Cause we got 5 years of warranty and it can be used for all ages.. Anywho, if you want to have a look, this is a link to the page with info about the chair. We got the back one to match the rest of our dining chairs - we also got the black baby set and the premium cushion :)
We also invested in their daybed.. We were told that the baby needs to sleep in our room the first few months and we don't have room for his bed in our bedroom... So we wanted something smaller and something that is easier to move.. We also wanted a bouncer so this was perfect for us.. I really love the color and design of this thing..
Anyways.. I need to be off.. I was informed that the reason for a lot of my pain lately has been pelvic girdle pain and let me tell you this.. It hurts ALOT.. I guess this is also another reason why I am so freaking tired again..
So my body decided to crash... Season change is hitting us and the fibromyalgia is acting up.. This morning I could barely move.. Being pregnant means that I can't take any of my pain killers that work for me..
And as if this morning wasn't bad enough - my body reacted to this new bread I had for breakfast.. It's supposed to be very healthy- high fiber, sourdough bread.. And I just had to run to the bathroom and everything came up.. This was so much worse than any purging experience of my life...
This was around 2 hours ago.. I just looked in the mirror and my face is covered by red dots... You know when you have been purging really badly and you get the red dots over your eyes??? My whole fucking face is covered with it...
I really hope my face looks better by the time hubby gets home - cause if it looks like this by the time he gets home, he will panic.. *sigh*
And today.. I got on the scale.. And I am gaining.. I know I know - I HAVE to.. It's normal.. I am 6 months pregnant .. I lost around 15 lbs since I got pregnant.. I have gained 3 lbs during the last 2,5 weeks. Again I know.. It is normal to gain.. But it really freaked me out.. But I wasn't ready for it.. You know..
I know I was worried before about not gaining and keep losing weight.. But.. Today.. It was just too much..
Anyways.. Hope you guys are feeling better than I am..
Our trip to Copenhagen was lovely. We didn't have much luck with the weather.. It was raining ALOT and we had several hours of thunderstorm. But we went out for couple of romantic dinners and we had time to just be.
It's so weird, we have been married for a year, and our wedding day was on our one year anniversary.. So we are still a "new" couple... But for me it feels like we have been together for years.
A whole lot of people have made comments about how things have been going too fast with us.. But who cares??? When it feels right - and you know that it is right.. You just know it. We have bad days, every couple does - but I am so lucky to say that I feel happy with my relationship at some point of the day every single day. On the days I feel horrible.. When I feel nothing is right - and that I feel like I can never ever be happy in my own skin, it is such a blessing to have this one thing in my life that makes me happy.
Just wanted to drop by and say hi. And I am off to finish getting updated on your blogs.