Baby is due next Sunday and I am counting minutes for him to be here. I can not wait to see and hold him, and let him be a part of our little family.

With the pregnancy coming to an end I also keep finding myself thinking more and more about my body - food - diet and everything that comes with it.

I have just started gaining back some of the weight I lost during the pregnancy and it has had me in half panic mode. I know it is really silly cause I know it is because the baby is growing and putting on fat and weight to get ready for the birth, but it also makes me wonder.. Will this round be just like the last, where I lose a whole bunch of weight within 2-3 weeks after the baby is here, just to gain it and additional 20 lbs after?

I find myself thinking about meal plans and so on more than I have for months.. And I know it is not coming from a healthy place. And I try to keep reminding myself that my "plan" is to eat healthy, move, and just make sure to keep my portions under control, and then there is this voice back in my head going "lol who the hell are you trying to kid - you will never have control.. You are fat, you will always be fat.. Fat.. Fat.. Fat.." *sigh*

What do you think I should do? Should I just leave it, or actually sit down and make a proper plan? Should I try to ignore the voice, even though it has all the right to say what it is saying based on my past?