Two weeks...

Days, hours are just flying by.. I have no sense of time anymore.. The baby is two weeks old already today. How is it even possible? 

Things have been hard.. I am in so much pain that I can barely function.. I can't lift my arms to a shoulder level even. Thank you Fibromyalgia.. I talked to my doctor last week and I am going to go back on my anti-dep pills again. They are supposed to help manage the pains too (even though it can take 4-8 weeks before you notice anything).. Which means I have had to stop nursing the baby.. 

I know for people living outside the Nordics bottle-feeding a baby is no big deal, but here it is a taboo.. You are supposed to breast-feed. You get weird looks when you take out a bottle to feed a newborn. And even though we had to do it with my oldest too, it still really messes with my head... I have been feeling like I fail as a woman. As a mother.. I feel like I am not good enough to have kids. I have been feeling guilty and ashamed. I still am.. But c'est la vie.. Right? We can never have everything we want. 

So I am trying to keep reminding my self that I am lucky to have two healthy little boys.. A husband who does what ever he cans to make me happy. Not nursing is not the end of the world. 

So next week there will be a bunch of changes: 
No more nursing the baby
Starting my meds again
My "free" weeks are also over and this means focusing on my journey, making right food decisions, and start moving more. 

Oh and today is the first official day of Spring in Iran, which also means we celebrate 
the Persian new year aka Norouz :) So happy Norouz from me to you ladies <3  


Weight update!

The baby is 1 week old tomorrow and I now weigh 32 lbs less than I did when I got pregnant. I am barely 2 lbs away from my first weight goal, and 12 from the second.. I don't have any rewards planned for the first goal - but I am thinking about getting a haircut when I reach the second one. 

And I am considering the new Kim Kardashian cut.. So kind of a longer layered bob.. What do you girls think? 

I haven't cut my hair in ages cause I have been trying to save the length but I am thinking a change for spring/summer would be nice. What do you guys think about that? 



Ladies, he is here!
My little chipmunk was born on Saturday afternoon.. He looks just like his older brother when he was born ex from the fact that he is bigger :) Tall and chubby with chipmunk cheeks would be the best way to describe his cuteness.

The labour in it self was hell.. 26 f--ing hours.. Couple of hours before he was born I just crashed down - I don't think I have ever been crying so hard cause I just couldn't do it anymore. I still don't feel like my self, with the lack of food and sleep during all those hours, and even the rest of the weekend.

Right now we are trying to settle in and make sure that my oldest doesn't feel left out, and I promise to write a proper post, with a proper update later on.