Man... I could sleep and sleep and sleep for days... I am so freaking tired.. And as if that wasn't enough I have the worst "monthly visit" EVER... I have been having cramps from hell since yesterday and my whole body is shivering.. :S

@ Claire: I got these - they are supposed to control the hunger and sugar cravings. There are very strict rules about what you can get of these things here - and I bought them from a health store - so they should be safe :) They also have folic acid, and vitamin B6 - B12 and so on and they are aspartame free. So nothing shady. I buy my protein shakes from the same place - so it should all be good. And ya I am adding the fruit for the fiber - and I will get plenty from the salad too. So it should be good..  Btw - that is no TMI ^^ You would be surprised to see how often ppl on blogger - specially the ones on weightloss blogs talk about BM ^^ it is very important part of it all, so nw :)

... Anywho :)

Today I am working from the office, which is actually good.. I have been missing the guys and it was easy to see that I had been missed :) .. BUT the most important reason why I have missed being at work is tea and coffee lol.. Not having a kitchen - and having everything packed away means no tea/coffee - I could just put the Nespresso machine in the living room - but with all the work that is still going on - I didnt want to get all dirty. So I have been DYING for a cup of properly made tea or coffee lol.. The office coffee sucks but yesterday I was such a desperado! I could have anything lol .. Good thing  I don't have as many as I used to.. Imagine the horror... *shiver*

Another "bright" side of moving in the middle of the renovation and having no wardrobes or anything in place - is that I have nothing clean to wear.. I am digging up my "fat" cloths.. So yes yes I know all my cloths are fat cloths-.. but these are the ones that make me feel extra fat.. You know what I mean ? But then I guess no matter what size we get/ are - we always have those "fat cloths" which make us feel a tad blah... I can not WAIT to change my whole wardrobe when I reach my goal.

Anyways- no matter how things go I am getting back on the exercise track from next week. Our living room is actually much bigger than I thought it was so I have room to have the mill out all the time. And finally to put it into good use. I found out that I could buy a proper treadmill instead of the one I bought for the same price... The one I have is for walking - power walking. You can not run on it - cause the walking thingi-- (the thing you walk on.. what is it called? ) anywho- it is too short to run on.. But you can do some fast walking aka up to 10 km/h on it. Which I guess is the same as a slow ish jog? Isn't it? - oh and it also has a prefixed incline which is good.

Ugg.. Again.. I gotta finish up this post.. Too much seem to be happning at work so I really cant focus :S



Gaaaaahhhh... New game plan!

I have no idea how much I weigh.. I just know I feel huge.. No no.. Correction.. I look HUGE... So new plan starting tomorrow...

- Breakfast : Protein shake 105 cal
- Lunch: Protein shake 105 cal
- Snack : Fruit 80 cal
- Dinner : Salad 300 cal
 Drinks: Tea - Coffee - Water

I have probably over calculated the amount of the cals - but better to count a tad too much than too little. So this means around 600 cals and barely any carbs. Planning on going on it for a while.. I feel too yucky not too... Starting the diet pills from tomorrow too. I never got to use them cause hubby had packed them all away.. I had to digg through a bunch of boxes to find them.. Ah well.. Got them in my purse now..

Headaches and all that jazz....


Today I am working from home... The moving went... Well, lets just say the weather was soo horrid- and the wind so strong that they were warning people about going out.. Our couch got showered down by the rain.. But ya we have officially moved..

Moving update.. Well they had to redo the floors 3 times.. And some parts of it are still :S but I just told them to let it be. Everytime they redid it - they managed to damage something else.. Ofc we will withdraw it from their payment but it is enough now..

They did come with the bench yesterday - but parts of it had the wrong measurement so they had to take it back. They are coming again today . thank God.. and if everything goes as planned we should be done with everything but the wardrobes by Friday. Lets keep them crossed. Well everything but the wardrobe.. I am supposed to hear about that today.. hehe..

I want to say welcome to the new followers and for the comments and all the luck you wished us. I must admit that I have missed you girls and can not wait to get updated on your blogs :)

To those of you I have on MFP - I will get back on it properly from next week. Things are way too messy right now.

@ Claire: I would love to do the Rusty's VIFW with you :) - I am going to get back to the gym properly from next week and build up come condition and get on the program from the second week of January- second week since we have a trip to Oslo coming up in the first week. I am thinking about doing his 2 day split - and follow the 12 week cardio program. Let me know if you rather want to keep up this on facebook/msn/mail and I will send you the info :)

I am not sure if I can say that IF/eat stop eat was a very good experience for me. I had a bad headache all day- eventhough I was drinking enough. I will try it again - and see how it goes. I wasn't really hungry - the hunger went away after a little while.. The headache... It lasted until the day after.. So ya..

Let me know about how you guys do it - or if there is something I should think about.

@Thinpls: Rusty's ebook has both.. He is very cardio oriented and he aims for the "lean hollywood look" and not the bulky one. His weight training in the book are to tone up- and the cardio to burn fat. I love his program and I highly recommend his blog and his program.

I am aware of the fact that I haven't been on it - cause I have been too busy/lazy or whatever the excuse might be. But I really believe he knows what he is talking about. And he knows what women want from the program.

@ Does it even matter: I will - I will post the pics when it is pretty! ^^

Anyway - gonna try to get updated on work and your blogs :)



The little experiment..

OK.. I am going to start with the 60 day challenge.. Even though I have had fun with the questions - I haven't really been able to commit to it.. I might restart it after newyears but meh.. Will see..

Now over to the experiment.. As you guys might remember I have mentioned Rusty Moore a few times before.. I read about him the first time months ago in Harlow's blog and I have loved him and his ideas ever since. I bought his e-book Visual impact for woman months ago (ashamed to say that I haven't been doing much more than reading there but I will put it into use) ... Anywho.. When I bought the E-book, I also started getting his newsletter. A while back I got this document about IF - intermittent fasting. This document has a whole lot of info about IF - and how to use it and what it is good for and so on. The version that I am going to try is the one Rusty has talked about in his blog several times and it is called eat stop eat.

Eat Stop Eat
(24 hour fast, 1 or 2 times per week)
On this plan, you fast for a full 24 hours once or twice per week, eating sensibly (higher protein, minimizing processed foods, etc.) the rest of the week. It’s flexible: You can choose whichever 24 hours you want. Want to fast from breakfast to breakfast? That’s cool. Just eat breakfast on Monday, and don’t eat again until breakfast on Tuesday. Want to fast dinner to dinner? That’s cool too. Eat dinner on Wednesday, and don’t eat again until dinner on Thursday.

So that is what I am doing today. I had my meal about 19:30 last night. And I wont eat until after 8 PM today. Now the reason why I want to do this :

I have mentioned over and over and over how I have don't seem to stop eating when I am full- or I eat while I am not really hungry.. I think most of the times I feel hungry.. I am hungry cause I THINK I am hungry.. Not cause I am.. And what I want from IF is to learn the actually body hunger - and learn to recognize it in my everyday. I think when I restrict .. I often eat for the sake of eating.. Not because I am very hungry and need to eat. I always eat cause I want to eat.

I told hubby that I was going to try it - and explained what I wanted to achieve from it. He actually for once agree's that it is a good idea.


I am also putting together an exercise plan which I want to get on after new years. Until then I want to focus on doing cardio - getting in a better shape - and learn to control my appetite.. (Yet again).. I am still not going to stress with it. We will have a whole lot on our hands even after we move - not having the kitchen ready - and so on.. So I aim to get back on the exercise mode from December 5'th..

I will post a detailed plan when it is ready and I am ready hehe ..

Off for now ..



Forgot to say :) Happy turkey day :)


Oh so very tired..

Week four!
Weekly challenge: Switch up your diet. Try one fruit and one vegetable you’ve never tried before, and learn how to cook a new healthy meal.

Well this weeks challenge wont really happen. I do try new fruit and veggies often - but we are moving this weekend, and wont have a kitchen for a week ish. And I am actually quite good at cooking - so I guess this weeks challenge isn't really applying to me..

Day twenty-two: Are you generally smaller or larger than your friends?
Larger I think.. Larger than most of them.. I think that I am larger than everyone ....

Day twenty-three: Do you feel that your weight holds you back socially?
Sometimes I feel horrid about going out and dread it.. I have several times just cancelled - cause it got too much.

Day twenty-four: Is losing weight one of your top priorities in life?
This question really makes me sad.. But it is..

Yet another Wednesday where I am skipping the weigh-in. I haven't really been eating much the last few days, but I dunno..

I'm just so tired .. We are moving this weekend, and we haven't started packing even. So I asked for Friday and next Monday off. .. Hopefully the floor guy will fix his shit today or tomorrow. This guy is chewing on my last nerve. Hubby had a "Dude you better get your act together soon, or we wont be that nice anymore" talk with him the other day. So ya..

On the bright side- the bathroom is finished! Yaay for that :) Our bathroom is small, but it is enough for now .. We are probably going to move again in 4-5 years ish.. So ya..

Anyway.. Got ttly out of focus here.. So I am going to just finish the post :)

Moving this weekend btw - Might not have internet access for few days.



Weekend update..

Day nineteen: Have you ever lied to avoid eating something?

Day twenty: Do you binge? How often and what triggers it?
Yes.. I dunno :S Emotions.. failing...

Day twenty-one: Do you listen to music when you work out?
Yes, I can't really focus on working out unless I have music..

This weekend has been pretty busy.. And I will be away on seminars with the next two days. I will be working some time from there - but wont be that much on.. And we are moving next weekend...

Visited the flat today. The place is starting to look amazing.. But we found some issues with part of the florr that the guy has put down. I've sent him an email about it.. So hopefully that guy will fix it soon. I have been very disappointed over the stupid carpenter.. I just hope he fixes the last things that he is supposed to and we can get rid of him..

Anywho.. I bought some diet pills - they are supposed to reduce appetite- and I am getting on them from tomorrow..

Anywho, we had dinner with hubby's family today. And his uncles wife has gotten scary skinny. I mean.. She is ana skinny.. I hadn't seen her since our wedding, but she is now even smaller. She is very tall and she has alawys been thin, but now it's insane.. I don't think she has an ED though.. Gah.. I have no idea..

Gotta go now...



Day 18..

Day eighteen: Do you have to eat any meals with your family? Are they for or against your diet?
Hubby and I almost always have dinner together and we have meals at the same time on the weekends, unless he is away for work. I think he is neither.


I have been very tired the last couple of days. Work has been insane thanks to server crashes and issues. I have been very stressed out at work, which is really effecting the pain in my arms..
I have also been very frustrated.. It seems like I lose a few lbs, and then I just gain it right back eventhough I am not overeating. It is very very very frustrating. And today I have been tempted to binge all day. I haven't thought.. Todays intake so far is 956 calories, and I am not planning to eat anything else today and I wont do it either.

I just don't understand how it can be. I mean.. I dunno.. And today I was thinking all sort of thought.. About how I should just quit.. But I think that is where my problem lays--doesn't it? I give up as soon as something goes wrong. I should just keep going and see how it goes.. I should stop getting on the scale everyday and let the number dictate my mood... I guess eventhough I can not stay away from the scale.. I WILL keep going and keep trying.. With this sort of dificit I will lose the weight eventually.. Wont I ?

But I think.. If I am not losing weight more properly in a couple of weeks I will go back to carb counting.. I don't care if it makes me ill.. I need to get rid of this fat.


Today after work we went to the flat and it is starting to shape up very very nice :) I can not wait for it to be ready so I can show you guys what a huge difference we are talking about :)

The bathroom will be done on Monday- and the painters will be done tomorrow. We will still have to wait on the doors to be painted but that isn't really something to worry about. The floors are done, they just need to put the finishing touches to it and finish up the floors in the walk-in closet.

Decided on not having a door into the kitchen. It just made sense cause of the way the floor and the wall is shaped.. The kitchen cabinets were up, and tomorrow they will come and measure the bench and order it in. It will arrive on not the coming Monday - but the one after. And it will take a couple of days to get it in place - and when that is done, we just need to put the finishing touches to the kichen wall.

Hehe, I think I am gonna shut up about now.. I might even make a V-log when we are in place dunno.. Will see..

Anyways.. I should be off. Getting pretty late and I am dead tired..



Day 17...

Day seventeen: Have you ever been called fat? Or skinny?
Yup.. Been called for both.. When I was at my lowest weight (which was still couple of kg's over my normal BMI range) - everyone used to say how skinny I look. I guess I have a small frame that made me look smaller?? And yes I have been called for fat way too many times.. It started with my mom calling me for it when I was pretty young.. And it happened again over the years..

I am pretty tired today.. I woke up with a very unsettles tummy. Dunno why it is acting up.. Hopefully it will be over soon. Yesterdays calories inn were 1143 - out 204 = net 939. Gym yesterday was Ok.. I pushed my self past my "omg I can not move my legs level" .. And I realized yet again how bad my shape is heh.. I guess it will get better soon.

Anywho.. Don't have much to say today..



Day 16...

Day sixteen: Have you ever missed a work out just because you couldn’t be bothered?
Yup.. Way too many time.. Not going to try to explain even - I would only have excuses and I don't want to keep making excuses..

We had to get up way too early today too.. We had to meet the handyman at the other flat again.. Things are going way too slow in my opinion. We were planning on moving some of the stuff over this weekend. But I doubt it can happen. So it will be one big move next weekend. Bathroom seems to be shaping out pretty nice though :) So that is good.

But today we got to know that we have to change our el - central. It seems to be too old and not good enough to hold everything in the kitchen- so yet another cost.. And we couldn't change the doors - something about having to change everything.. So we are having the painters to paint those too - which is yet another cost _(costs more to paint them than to buy new ones.. WTF... ) . Not to forget about the floors in the kitchen and hallway.. Those had to be redone - cause they weren't put down properly.. So they had to put some sand - and some other plates under and then the wood-floors.. So the sand and the plates were extra cost too.. So far is this renovation is costing us around 60k US dollars and I really hope it stops there - cause we still need to fix the wardrobe in the hallway - and the walk-in closet.. *sigh*

I haven't had money worries the last year or so .. And it has been a blessing.. But I must say I am sort of worried about it now.. I am sure it will be fine - but ya.. I hate this feeling..

Anywho.. Yesterdays eats were so so so much better than the weekend. I am feeling really good about the plan. Yesterdays net was 1032 calories. I did have one mindless munching episode and I started thinking about why I was eating what I was eating.. So today my focus is to have the "talk" with my self BEFORE I start eating and not during :)

Uhm :) I guess that's it for now :)



Day 15...

Week three!
Weekly challenge: Add an extra 30 minutes to each work out this week, or if you weren’t going to work out at all one day, work out for 30 minutes!

Day fifteen: What is your favourite kind of exercise?
Hum.. I actually like the elliptical (does it count as an exercise? ).. Easy on my joints and I guess a good overall machine..

New week- new day.. New plan:

Step one :

I am going to stop eating stupidly little for days, for then to end up in a binge mode.. I am going to keep my eats to 1200 calories and stop forcing my self to go around hungry... And then binge.. And so on..

Step two: 

I am starting an emotion journal. I am going to write down when I eat - and when I get hungry. And I want to write down WHY I feel hungry. This way I hope to learn to tell the emotional hunger apart from actual hunger.

Step three: 

I will exercise. I am not aiming for much- I want exercise 3-4 times a week - no less than 30 mins.

Step four: 

I will plan my eats- and will practise portion control. No more mindless munching..

That's it for now..

@ Nasimiyu :
The post started with a moron talking about how sick she was of MFP letting ppl with Ana on the site- and that they should be removed.
Then another moron agreed and said "I hope they learn to enjoy small part of the life and stop being vain"
That's where I flipped and said she needed a reality check.. And the ball started rolling..
Most of the comments were on how stupid that comment was - and that if MFP was to ignore people with one ED - it should ignore all of them - AKA overeating and so on..
And how fucked up it was to say something like this.. Cause if someone wants the count their intake they do it  no matter of the fact that they can use MFP.
And it rolled over to how stupid it was to not judge the ones who cheer each others bad habits on.. Saying it is ok to eat if it's off your kids plate and so on..

So ya.. It was ttly fucked up...



Sunday update..

So I am not going to post all my eats here. And the reason is cause it takes a tad too much time :S and I am sort of lazy and don't want to spend the time on it :S Sowwy.. But I am still on MFP.. So do add me if you wanna :)

Day twelve: What are your friend’s eating habits like?
- My friends are either eat what you want sort of ppl or always on a diet sort of ppl..

Day thirteen: Is your diet ever negatively influenced by your friends? Do they pressure/tempt you to eat unhealthy food?
- YES! not as much now since I barely have any friends here lol .. But ya.. The "oh one cookie/drink wont hurt you" comment - is something that I have gotten over and over..

Day fourteen: Do you ever allow yourself a “rest day” from exercise or a “cheat day” from your diet?
- OMFG lol.. My whole life is a fucking rest/cheat day lol.. If it wasn't I would be a fatty now- would I ?? So ya.. If I get to the stage I want with my eats and exercise. I might .. But for now.. Nope..

This weekend hasn't been that great.. Well not with food.. We had the office party on Friday after work (which I had forgotten about :S ).. anywho... We had beers and Tapas, burgers... The greens that were there were either fried.. Or oiled down.. Yesterday we went out to dinner with my American co-worker. She hadn't had proper sushi here yet so that was the plan.. I had a glass of white wine and veggie/mix sushi..


I really need to get this "plan your meals" thing - and do it properly.. :S

Gotta get off now.. Need to clean around the house for a while.. pack a bit.. And hit the gym if I can fetch it in time..



busy weekend..

Ugg my eats were horrid yesterday thanks to the office afterwork party. Today has been ok if you ignore the rolls I had.. But still in my calorie budget. Going out for sushi dinner tonights. Don't have much time for a proper post now- but I will make one with the eats details and the challenge questions either tomorrow or on Monday...

Oh and we were at the new flat earlier today.. The bedrooms are almost ready :) The light purple is a tad more purple than white but it is still very pretty..

Anywho.. Gotta run..


Edit: Went by the American store - and thank to the very overpriced lovely ppl there I now have 10 cal sugar free Jello- and PAM cooking spray.. Yay for that hehe :)




Sometimes I HATE forums.. I noticed this post on MFP .. And I am so pissed lol ..
I HATE ignorant ppl like that.. Stupid moronic ppl!

Oh and ya. the "kittz30" comments are from me.. lol..

Stupid ppl..

Day 11...

Day eleven: What are your family’s eating habits like?
Depends on what you define as family.. Being Persian, EVERYTHING revolved around food. While I grew up.. Food was my safety.. My friend..
Now.. My husband and I.. I guess I can't really define our habits.. He eats enough for 2( and still weighs in no more than 140 lbs lol) and I guess.. I have my good and bad days..

I finally bought a new HRM yesterday. a Polar FT7.. and I love it.. It is SO much easier to use than the old one.. And I just start it and when I stop it - I get my beats and my calorie burned numbers right up.. I don't have to use a freaking book to see where to click for everything I want it to do..

And since you guys think it is a good idea for me to post my eats. I am going to do it.. :) Probably a good idea to help me keep my limits. There is no easy way to do it using MFP.. even the reports suck lol :P And since most of the products I eat are nordic brands - it would be hard for you guys to see what it is anyhow. So I can just write it down here. My eats can be very very boring.. And I tend to pretty much almost eat the same stuff over and over again... So ya hehe

This week so far :

  • Breakfast: Nespresson coffee (10 cal) - Actimel pro bio drink 0.1% fat (28 cal) - Green tea (0 cal)
  • Lunch: medium banana (105 cal) - Coffee made from grounds (2 cal) - Green tea (0 cal)
  • Dinner: Weight-watchers frozen meal, Vegetarian moussaka (274 cal)
  • Snacks: Eat natural macadamia bar (156 cal), Wasa - Crisp'n Light 7 Grain, 2 slices (40 cal), Polar extreme whole wheat bun (184 cal), Philadelphia cream cheese light (56 cal), Half tomato (14 cal), 10 salt pretzel (10 cal) 
Total inn: 908 Calories - 133 gr carbs - 25 gr fat - 28 gr protein
Exercise: 90 calories burned 
Net: 818 

  • Breakfast: Nespresso coffee x2 (20 cal) - medium banana (105 cal) - Green tea (0 cal)
  • Lunch: Low fat butter 10 gr (28 cal) - 3% fat turkey ham 25 gr (25 cal) - Paprika 30gr (8 cal) - Pågen wholewheat bread 2 slices (144 cal)
  • Dinner: Weight-watchers frozen meal, green pepper chicken (342 cal) - Rice and chicken sag (378 cal)
  • Snacks: Coffee 2 cups made from grounds (4 cal) - medium banana (105 cal) - Ica - Melonmix, 180 gr (180 gr)
Total inn: 1226 calories - carbs 197 gr - fat 20 gr - Protein 66 gr
Exercise: 260 calories burned
Net: 962 

  • Breakfast: Actimel pro bio drink 0.1% fat (28 cal) - Fruit - Apple, Gala, Medium (72 cal)
  • Lunch: Low fat butter 10 gr (28 cal) - 3% fat turkey ham 30 gr (30 cal) - Paprika 30gr (8 cal) - Pågen wholewheat bread 2 slices (144 cal) - Green tea (0 cal)
  • Dinner: Subway - 6 Inch Double Turkey,Honey Oat Bread, No Cheese & honeymustard, lettuce, paprika, cucumber (379 cal)
  • Snacks: 10 salt pretzel (10 cal) - medium banana (105 cal) - Coffee made from grounds (2 cal) 
Total inn: 835 calories, 156 gr carbs, 12 gr fat, 56 gr protein
Exercise: 0 (we walked around ALOT doing errands but I don't think it counts)
Net: 835

There :) I have planned my todays eats - but since it might change, I am going to post it the day after. I also drink between 2 to 3 L water a day. I chug down one liter during work days and the rest at home. 

I am finally starting to get back to the weight I was before the "week" and the TGIF episode.. So that's good..  Aiming to be under that by the end of this week. 

Anyway.. Off for now :) 



Should I ...

Post my daily eats here?? Or maybe weekly??

Anyone ??

Day 10..

Day ten: Do you eat breakfast? What do you usually have?
Yes I do now :) I normally have half a sandwich with turkey ham OR fruit (apple/banana/melon) with a small pro- bio drink. And a cup of green tea. In the weekends I like to have something different- the last couple weeks I have made scrambled eggs from 1 whole egg and 2-3 egg-whites with green bell peppers/mushrooms - something I have in the fridge. And I have a dry toast with it.

Sort of tired today... We went to the gym around 20:30 and when we got there I realised I had forgotten my shoes :S So went back home.. Picked up the shoes.. Went back to the gym.. And I REALLY didn't want to.. Got in 20 mins of exercise.. Not much to brag about.. But having been there twice this week already, is better than the 0 I have had before.. So ya.. I have NOT lost any weight this week.. I know it's only been two days.. but ya.. :( ... I guess I have to suck it up.. Stop being naggy about it, only cause I have been getting my act together for few days. And wait for the results to show.

@ Seeking Something Else : I love that you are in on the 60 day challenge :) I found it on Samzi's blog and it seemed like a blast.. I am not sure if I should post every thing I have done/plan to do after the instructions from the challenge though.. I guess as long as I actually do it, is what matters?

And Persian food is actually very yummy. It is normally stews made of chicken/meat- veggies/lentils - in a herb/tomato based sauce. We also have a bunch of good soups - and kebobs, and even lentils, vegs cooked in the rice - sort of like an Indian biryani . It is sad that now a days people seem to be adding more fat and butter to the stews and such, cause back in the days Persian food very balanced. Our food is spiced but not hot (unless you are from the south part of the country) ..

I have tried to make some of the stews meat free and they have been very very yummy :) I also tend to just bake the veg's in the oven - or add them raw in the stew, instead of frying it first (many many many ppl fry them first :S ).. Here are some pages where you can find recipes and so on, if you want to try to make some Here and here are the links..  One of my most fav dishes is this one  , it is a chicken stew on a walnut and pomegranate sauce.. It has every flavour you would want in a dish hehe... (I think atleast :P )

Didn't you live in the UK? There are some amazing Persian restaurants in London, mostly placed around Kensington..

Erm ya hehe :)

Oh and I agree with what everyone said about the gastro dude.. We all saw it coming.. I don't really feel sorry for him.. But his little girl.. She is so pretty and smart.. And I would hate to see something happen to her.. The chances of her growing up to be very overweight.. Or having an eating disorder are very very very big with a dad like that... I did ask him about his treatment before.. He did get a bunch of info and such BEFORE his surgery. And now I heard something about going to weigh-in session once a month or so.. But nothing else. As far as I know, he has been given a nutrition plan.. Following it is another story...

@ Miranda.. Sorry for being woozy.. I forgot to reply back on your comment :S
It is going to be fun with a new kitchen :) Maybe you get some fun ideas from ours when it's done ^^ (IF we ever get done :P )



Day 9!

Day nine: What is your favourite food, healthy or unhealthy.
Oh that's a hard one.. I love food.. Cooking it .. Eating it (duuh) .. I have fav's in each food group.. But if we are going to go general.. I guess I would say "Persian food" .. if that is even a valid option :)


Went to the gym last night.. I think the HRM I got from my hubby is fucked.. I know it was an outdated model but it should have worked.. It said that I only burned 40 cals on the elliptical .. while the machine said 134.. So erm ya.. I think I will buy a new one.. It really made me frustrated.. And then on our way home from gym we had to do some small grocery shopping.. (bread - yoghrt- apples) .. And I wanted to try this new low fat brand of yogurt.. I looked up the cals and it was on.. The label didn't give much info. So I thought I would go on the producers site when I get home and punch the info in MFP..

Got home- got online.. And they didn't have any more details on their webpage either.. And guess who ended up having a meltdown over yogurt.. Yup you guessed right.. My poor hubby.. He was all "omg what's wrong" and there I am sobbing over how the freaking yogurt label/site didn't say how much sugar and fiber it was in the shit.. He ended up calculating it all for me (the site gave % and no number)..

Does this happen to you guys.. I tend to have meltdown while grocery shopping - if the stuff I normally have are not there.. Or if something like this happens.. And I am not sure if it's "normal" lol...

PS: @ Miranda.. They never put calories on the menus here.. I have found nutrition info on some web pages.. But that is something that rarely happens. I didn't even find the info from the TGIFridays on their Swedish site.. I got the numbers from MFP..

Anywho... This will be a LOOONNGGG day.. Gonna have a meeting from 1 - 5 :S Freaking 4 hours.. I get tired just thinking about it....

Oh and I want to say thanks for the comments yesterday.. I ttly agree.. The surgery was such a waste of tax money on this dude.. I just can not believe how fast it is backfiring.. I mean he had the surgery done mid august. and it's only been 3 months.. I don't understand how it is even possible...

Sorry for the messy post btw.. I don't seem to be able to focus on it long enough... heh,,



Gastro dude is gaining!

You guys remember my co'worker from this post .. As I mentioned before he was back from his surgery recovery in end of September.. And he has been loosing a bunch of weight..

But guess what.. He is gaining again...

I am just talking to this girl at work.. and it is noticeable.. His face is growing again..


And we can guess why.. His eats are insane....

Anywho.. had a little mean lol moment I had to share ...


Renovation madness and all that Jazz!

Day seven: Do your friends and family know you are trying to lose weight?
Well duuuhh yaa lol - they have seen me yoyo up and down for years.. Some know more than others but ya.. They do.. 

Week Two!
If you broke your unhealthy habit for one week, congratulations! Why not try two weeks?
I actually have - until today ( I will eat something as we speak) - and yup  Iwill.. 

Weekly challenge: Get organised! This week try to plan tomorrow’s meal the night before.
I am going to do that. I should really get organised. I love planning so ya I guess I will add that to the list. 

Day eight: Name 5 things you like about your body (you can do it) and the one body part you’d like to change the most.
- I love my eyes and my eye lashes.. I have big brown eyes and long lashes :) 
- I love the shape of my lips and my smile. I have pretty full lips so ya :) 
- My cheekbones.. Eventhough I am overweight now, they are still pretty much easy to notice and see. 
- My hands/nails - I dunno why.. Just do hehe :) 
- My waist - being hour glass shapes - my waist is always so much smaller than the rest of me.. 

Ooohh.. Only one part I want to change most.. Hmmm... I guess my upper arms.. I HATE how huge they are no matter how much I lose weight.. So ya.. I guess that would be one of the part I would like to change most.. 


This weekend has been OK.. Yesterday was the first day in ages - hubby and I had time to relax together. We had to go out and do laundry and blabla.. But we had a few small hours where we got to just be and hang. 

But today is Monday and everything is on again.. We met the painters early this morning... We had to give him the last key we have to the apartment. We have 3 keys.. We gave one to the people fixing the bathroom (they say they will be done by the end of this week.. Doesn't seem so yet - but we will see) - Second one is with the guy that is fixing the floors and that is going to put up the kitchen. He is from the Co we bought the kitchen from so ya. And today we had to give the last one to the painters. The guy is going to be working late and so on - so we didn't have a choice ... 

They are really strict with how many keys you can have .. And our main key (the one to the main door of the building and so on) is just a tag.. And we can not copy that.. So ya.. I guess we just have to plan around with the guys working there when we need to get into the flat lol... 

But ya.. If everything goes as planned- The bathroom will be done by the end of this week. The flooring will also be done by then. The painters will be done by the end of next week. 

The kitchen cabinets are being delivered Friday. And they have two weeks to assemble and hang them up. The kitchen wont be done before mid December though - since they have to order the stone bench AFTER the kitchen is up.. So ya.. It will be a bless to live off microwave food for like 3 weeks hehe.. Thank God for the weight-watcher options lol.. 

And we still haven't started packing.. I guess I will have to get on with that this weekend. And pack as much as possible. 

Anywho.. Time to try to focus on work... 

I was late this morning cause of the painters.. And probably will have to work over - or during lunch.. So ya... 



Day 6 and TGIF....

Day six: Have you ever been overweight or underweight?
Overweight.. Still am.... 

OMG.. I did so good today .. All day.. And then I met my American coworker and we went out and we had dinner at TGIFriday's... and OMFG.. I just punched in my dinner on MFP.. and the dinner was over 3k calories.. UGG... WTF..... I feel sick to my guts now... That's it.. From now on.. Dinners out = sides only.. 


Day 5!

Day five: Is there any specific event you want to lose the weight for?

Yup... I call that event life..

Short post today.. Got a bunch to do at work... and I am really tired..



Day 4!

Day four: Do you work out? How many times a week?
Nope.. I don't.. My goal is to start working out more when the moving madness settles- and I hope to be able to start the couch 25k running more properly now.

I am feeling much much much better today.. Thank you so much for your support ladies.
I had my low day and I had my cookies and I am feeling so much better. I guess I just needed to vent :) Thanks for being there <3

So I am back on track again - and I am having some hunger pangs - which is normal since I have been eating probably a bit too much during the "week" .. But I am dealing with it. Hubby is going away this weekend - probably will be back Saturday night or Sunday morning but ya - I am planning to use those days to get back in control of the eats instead of binging (Which I normally do when he is away)..

I am planning to eat light and low cal stuff during the day so I don't get tempted to a "binge" mode being hungry.

Ooohhh girls.. Shitloads of stuff are happening!
So just got an email from the painters- they can start painting everything on Monday.. I am thinking about having the same colour in the kitchen, living-room and the hallway.. The colour I want for those rooms is called chalk - so it is a grey shade of white.. It is the same colour that we have in the living-room where we live now, it works perfectly with our couch and the stainless stuff we are going to have in the kitchen.

The bedrooms and the walk-in closet are going to be white with a very light shade of purple in them. I want to have the warmth from it. The door and window frames are going to be in white- plain white. We are even going to paint the radiator and those will be in the same colour as the walls...

I got my faith back heheh - Cause I think this will look great..

Did I mention the wardrobe that is in the hallway? We (AKA I) decided to go for the doors that you can shove to the sides.. The doors will go from the ceiling to the floors.. Going to have one of the doors in plain white and the other going to be a mirror door. I hate the idea of not having a mirror in the hallway on my way out (even though I don't always enjoy what I see there) but ya :) - reminds me I have to call them too and make an appointment. 

Man I don't seem to be able to finish this post --- Insane at work today... Off for now




I need to get this off my chest...

I have the mental war going on.. Again.. I am not sure if it ever stopped. Will it ever stop?
I have the extreme urge to B/P.. But I can't.. I am at work. I wont.. I have been good for weeks...

I am really stressed over the fact that I told my TL about me having fibromyalgia. I am scared that it will effect my raise next year...

I am stressing over everything that can go wrong with the renovation.. Hubby is putting his trust in my decisions.. Me making the place into ours.. What if it doesn't look as I think it will.. *sigh*

I want to take a break.. From my head.. My mind... My body.. The pain.. The urge..
Can one take a break from it all?

SMALL STEPS UPWARD... I don't understand how.. I just can't make it happen... I feel like it always has been a matter of do or don't.. Decisions.. Decisions.. Planning.. Planning every single step of my life.... 

My life is a planning project.. I keep planning..

Where to live.. What to eat.. What to wear.. What to feel.. How to act.. How to hide away.. How to deal with the pain.. How to control the urge.. What NOT to eat...  What to do...

Do you ever find your self fed up with making decisions all the time?? Planning everything?? Being afraid... Afraid of failing.. Or not making it happen.. Tired of being disappointed in who you are and what you do? Tired of feeling like you are not enough.. Tired of how you don't seem to be able to keep it together like others do... Tired of it all..

Sometimes I look at people.. The ones like my hubby who eat what they want.. When they want it.. They exercise when they feel like it.. And I think for my self. Can I do that? And I give my self the answer "no" ... before I am done thinking of the question..

I can't be trusted with food.. I can't be trusted... I will binge.. I will get fatter..

I wish I could though.. It would be just a bliss..

Anyways.. I might need a break from blogger too.. But I will still read and comment... And I will probably keep on the 60 day challenge cause I find it to be fun and no struggle. But we will see..

Just need to silence my head first..



I have gained like 300 grams ish since my last weigh in. I guess it could be worse- but ya... I am not taking it too harsh since it was the first weigh in after my period, and I tend to gain during those days.. Next weigh in will be much better.. 

Day 3: Do you count calories? What is your daily calorie goal/allowance?
According to MFP it should be 1260. I have been eating around/under that on my good days.. (Unless you wanna have a look at the "that time of the month" days)

Anywho.. Sort of sore and cranky today.. So I'm gonna be off for now. 



Day 2!

Day two: What is your MAIN reason for wanting to lose weight? (Be honest.)

I want to feel good in my cloths.. Be able to shop where I want and wear what I want. I want to spend my money on fashion items instead of overpriced cloths in bigger sizes. And I think losing the weight will help my fibro pain pangs..

So ya.. Yesterday after work while we were running around taking care of errands, I got a call.. The call came from the union our new flat is a part of.. And the guy was like "How is going with the accident you had in the bathroom today- we have had to close down the water for the radiators and we wonder if we can turn it on again" .. And I was like "wwoooooootttttt are you talking about" ..

So apparently the guy that was taking out the floors in the bathroom had hit a pipe.. The pipe leading to the whole buildings radiator system.. So they had to shut down the water to it - and then have the plumber come and patch it right away.. BUT apparently there had been water all over the bathroom for around an hour..

Lucky:  it was in the bathroom and they could drain it.. Unlucky: it happened AFTER they had removed the floors the the people living in the floor under us might have a leak...

So today we have been up since like 6... And been over at the other place since 7.. Talked to the plumber and the contractor... And so on.. And we met the guy that is going to do the painting of the walls and floors for us.

Work started at 8 and I am soo soo tired .. hehe

Buuuutt! not to worry.. I has coffee!! I has tea.. And I shall survive.. hehehe

I am already half way with the intuitive eating book. And it makes so much sense. I am going to finish it up and do my research on it and most likely give it a shot from the new year.

I don't want to start yet another project at the moment with everything that is going on.. So ya.. I think it is smart to wait..

@ Miranda & Tempest: Thanks ^^ Can't wait for the renovation to be over.. It is such a mess there now hehe .. But I think it will turn out amazing by the time we are done with everything!

Going to end this post with couple of songs that I have been listening to over and over today.. Enjoy :)