2015/02/18

Baby is due next Sunday and I am counting minutes for him to be here. I can not wait to see and hold him, and let him be a part of our little family.

With the pregnancy coming to an end I also keep finding myself thinking more and more about my body - food - diet and everything that comes with it.

I have just started gaining back some of the weight I lost during the pregnancy and it has had me in half panic mode. I know it is really silly cause I know it is because the baby is growing and putting on fat and weight to get ready for the birth, but it also makes me wonder.. Will this round be just like the last, where I lose a whole bunch of weight within 2-3 weeks after the baby is here, just to gain it and additional 20 lbs after?

I find myself thinking about meal plans and so on more than I have for months.. And I know it is not coming from a healthy place. And I try to keep reminding myself that my "plan" is to eat healthy, move, and just make sure to keep my portions under control, and then there is this voice back in my head going "lol who the hell are you trying to kid - you will never have control.. You are fat, you will always be fat.. Fat.. Fat.. Fat.." *sigh*

What do you think I should do? Should I just leave it, or actually sit down and make a proper plan? Should I try to ignore the voice, even though it has all the right to say what it is saying based on my past?

5 comments:

  1. oh, my love.

    if you do the same things all the time, you will always end up in the same places.

    i think you should do something new. whatever it is... something different. no low carb. no 'healthy eating'. i suggest you do not restrict types of foods. i would say adapt a flexible dieting approach. perhaps, an IFYM pattern could work for you? i am saying that you should definitely indulge a bit here and there. just to keep yourself from going off the rails all at once (which is very difficult. i know it is).

    <3

    i love you. i want you to take care of yourself. i want you to be healthy and happy

    -Sam Lupin

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  2. I worry that another plan will just be another reason for you to beat yourself up if you don't follow it perfectly, and that leads to discouragement and giving up.

    Is there a way to help you move more? Maybe that is not entirely reasonable with two tiny ones and with us stuck in the belly of winter (plus fibro, etc), but it has helped me through some times when I was struggling to keep my eating under control. When I am fitter and stronger, I feel better about my body (even running back at 180 pounds I could appreciate my strength and the big firm muscles that I was growing under all the insulation) and it really helps reduce the impact of eating too much. Being active also helps so much with insulin resistance.

    It doesn't have to be giving up or making a rigid plan, there are a thousand possibilities in between. Even if it's just waking up each day and deciding "I will do something healthy for my body today."

    Wishing the best for your health, happiness, and balance in the times ahead!

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  3. If you're going to breast feed, I guess you need to stay healthy. Starving is a no-no! Lean meat, lots of greens, cut back on sugar, right?

    (yeah, who am I to talk)

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  4. I have a good friend who is about to give birth any minute now! I'm so excited for you both. I hope everything with the birth goes just the way you want it. I agree with the others. Try something new. Whether it be intuitive eating, or just working on eating clean whole foods. Maybe just a max calorie limit and leaving it at that. Sometimes we over complicate things.

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  5. Eeee, how exciting! Good luck and congratulations and wow. I'm so happy for you.

    I have to say I'm relieved your weight didn't keep dropping so quickly toward the end. Especially, like others said, if your planning to breastfeed. I think they've made some pretty good suggestions :)

    Keeping you and your family in my thoughts <3
    xxxx

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