Two weeks...

Days, hours are just flying by.. I have no sense of time anymore.. The baby is two weeks old already today. How is it even possible? 

Things have been hard.. I am in so much pain that I can barely function.. I can't lift my arms to a shoulder level even. Thank you Fibromyalgia.. I talked to my doctor last week and I am going to go back on my anti-dep pills again. They are supposed to help manage the pains too (even though it can take 4-8 weeks before you notice anything).. Which means I have had to stop nursing the baby.. 

I know for people living outside the Nordics bottle-feeding a baby is no big deal, but here it is a taboo.. You are supposed to breast-feed. You get weird looks when you take out a bottle to feed a newborn. And even though we had to do it with my oldest too, it still really messes with my head... I have been feeling like I fail as a woman. As a mother.. I feel like I am not good enough to have kids. I have been feeling guilty and ashamed. I still am.. But c'est la vie.. Right? We can never have everything we want. 

So I am trying to keep reminding my self that I am lucky to have two healthy little boys.. A husband who does what ever he cans to make me happy. Not nursing is not the end of the world. 

So next week there will be a bunch of changes: 
No more nursing the baby
Starting my meds again
My "free" weeks are also over and this means focusing on my journey, making right food decisions, and start moving more. 

Oh and today is the first official day of Spring in Iran, which also means we celebrate 
the Persian new year aka Norouz :) So happy Norouz from me to you ladies <3  


  1. Min syster hade problem med amning och ALLA hade en åsikt. Du gör vad som är bäst för dig, helt enkelt.

  2. "The baby is two weeks old already today. How is it even possible?" no fucking way. baby was just born yesterday.

    i am so sorry that you are in so much pain :( my heart bleeds for you, Cupid. i remember you telling us about how hard it was for you last time post-partum and i was hoping it wouldn't be that way this time.

    you do not fail as a woman. you really don't. i promise you little one.

    you are in a compromised situation. the other little one - he's okay, right? he's turning out just fine. you're taking care of him pretty good. this one shouldn't be any different. <3


    i love you, darling.

    again, congrats on the new addition! <3 :)

    -Sam Lupin

  3. In America you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. You can never make everyone happy. So you should do what is best for you and your baby. Remember that if you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of your little ones. You're doing what is best for your family.

  4. yes, no way the baby is two weeks old!! that's crazy!! where did the time go??

    Aww kits, I'm sorry about the fibro, but you can't be a good mother/caregiver if you're always in pain so you're making the right decision for your family and that's what matters! hugs! xo

  5. Xox hope you're doing well Kits!