Don't ask me how it happened..
I can count the times I have had sex this year on one hand..
We wanted to try for another baby end of September.. I'm not sad about another baby even though it is earlier than we had planned, but I am worried.. My last pregnancy was rocky... And the time after even harder.. I am just starting to get out of my depression..
I don't think my doctor will approve..
And my mother has been here.. She just left a couple hours ago.. Surviving these days has been a binge fest.. I am tired.. So glad i planned this ahead and took two days off so I can recover.. I also have an appointment with my shrink which also is needed..
I found out my youngest sister is using heroin... She is barely 20.. And my mother still wonders why I don't bring my kid there to "spend time with his family"... Fuck that.. I am his family.. his dad is his family.. People who love him and care enough to spend time with him are his family.. blood relation doesn't matter shit..
I'm just so tired..
And I am fat.. I don't even want to face the scale after this weeks binges..
I will have to tomorrow.. I need to start tracking my weight.. I have to do as good as I did with my last pregnancy.. I do not need to get fatter..
Going to see the midwife on the 28th.. Not sure how far along I am.. Think it is 7 weeks or so.. Never understood why they count it the way they do...
That's it for now..