Not remotely. I've been everything from 100 to 190 pounds, and I was not happy at any weight. Strangely, I was the most physically confident (meaning "I'm not fond of my body but I'm going to do what I like with it" ie rocking a bikini) at the high end.
Now that I've lost a lot of weight, it's not even the same as turning back the scale. Everything is looser and softer and lower than it used to be. I am a sea of silvery white rippling stretch mark scars. I am working on rebuilding strength, but the fact is, my body is a mess.
I suspect that I am at the high end of what most people consider "normal" but I can barely stand to look at myself.
So no... I don't think getting to goal weight will make me truly happy. I think happy is going to be a long, slow journey and somewhat independent of the number on the scale.
When I feel best is when I am strong and fit and being active. It seems to hold true regardless of my weight.
no. not at all. especially with the depression, I just EXPECT myself to lose weight. I get anxious and sick to know that I've gained it, and running on an anxiety high makes me not want to eat at all.
I don't even know if I have a goal anymore. I make I have several goal weights that I want to be in, but hey, anything that is thinner is better as far as im concerned. and the thinner I am the better. that's just how I feel.
I'll never be completely happy, but I feel so like shit right now, and I was definitely happi-er when I weighed less. I felt a tiny bit less like shit. So that's what I'm striving for.
I hope so. I can't say because I've never weighed it. At the closest weight to it I wasn't but that was still 11lbs over it. I know I was happier at that closer weight than the fat weight I am now.
Not remotely. I've been everything from 100 to 190 pounds, and I was not happy at any weight. Strangely, I was the most physically confident (meaning "I'm not fond of my body but I'm going to do what I like with it" ie rocking a bikini) at the high end.
ReplyDeleteNow that I've lost a lot of weight, it's not even the same as turning back the scale. Everything is looser and softer and lower than it used to be. I am a sea of silvery white rippling stretch mark scars. I am working on rebuilding strength, but the fact is, my body is a mess.
I suspect that I am at the high end of what most people consider "normal" but I can barely stand to look at myself.
So no... I don't think getting to goal weight will make me truly happy. I think happy is going to be a long, slow journey and somewhat independent of the number on the scale.
When I feel best is when I am strong and fit and being active. It seems to hold true regardless of my weight.
no. not at all. especially with the depression, I just EXPECT myself to lose weight. I get anxious and sick to know that I've gained it, and running on an anxiety high makes me not want to eat at all.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know if I have a goal anymore. I make I have several goal weights that I want to be in, but hey, anything that is thinner is better as far as im concerned. and the thinner I am the better. that's just how I feel.
-Sam Lupin
No, but it will make me feel less anxious about living in my body.
ReplyDeleteI'll never be completely happy, but I feel so like shit right now, and I was definitely happi-er when I weighed less. I felt a tiny bit less like shit. So that's what I'm striving for.
ReplyDeleteI hope so. I can't say because I've never weighed it. At the closest weight to it I wasn't but that was still 11lbs over it. I know I was happier at that closer weight than the fat weight I am now.
ReplyDelete