I heard that on the intro for one of the "I used to be fat" episodes on MTV.. And it is so true...
@Sammy.. You are right love. My plans are always boring - always lacking something.. And your comment really made me thing.. Cause again.. You are right.. and I have been thinking about why .. And I can tell you why... It is because it is not me.. - The way I am acting - the way my mind is - it is just not me..
One of the things my doctor first told me when I was learning to deal with my fibromyalgia was that I always want too much. That I need to face the fact and stop acting like the person I wish I was - instead of the person I am.. I had to learn to stop - to understand my limitation- I had to learn that my body no longer can do everything I wanted it to do.. And I had to stop asking too much of my self.
It tok me years to learn to deal with the illness - but today I realized - I am still doing it.. This time - it's not about my work - my partying - my relationship.. This time around is my weight - and my weightloss.
I am no longer 18 - I can not keep planning - and keep failing - cause lets face it.. I have already wasted too many years of my life trying - and failing on so many things..
So dearest Sammy - Thank you for helping me open my eyes..
When I restarted this blog - I said that I wanted to become healthy.. Not long ago - I said I wanted to be smaller - not skinny mini..
So here is a new plan..
I am going to stop putting my self down - and plan things that make me fail. I am going to count my calories, but not starve my self.. I don't want to starve my self, cause I always end up in a huge binge.. I binge - I feel down about my self so I eat more..
I am not going to plan to exercise too often - too much - cause I always fail - and it makes me feel worse about my self - and when I feel worse about my self.. Well - you know the story, I binge..
I keep saying baby steps - but I keep forgetting that those are the right steps for me..
So girls - you are probably sick and tired of hearing about my "new plans" .. So I am not going to bore you with it..