As you might have noticed I have been pretty AWOL the last few weeks. I haven't been feeling all too well - and when I learned that I was pregnant it sort of felt like my dream of getting "normal" and healthy was over.. All I could think about is the fact that I will be fatter and fatter and that was it for me..
Your comments did make me feel better.. But lets be honest, in that state of mind - it was very temporary.. I have been feeling really lost.. Who am I now? - Who will I become?
So I have been depressed.. Crying a whole lot (thanks hormones) .. You get the idea. The other day I remembered the two comment.. One from Tempest - with that amazing article.. The other from Sleepwalker, about the podcasts.. I have read the article, and been listening to the podcasts - and it has been doing wonders for my mental state.
This is a choice.. No body is forcing me to stay pregnant.. As Miranda said - I have been wanting this, and now is it.. So true.. This baby - is a blessing.. I am NOT going to become like my mum - and blame my baby for not being who I want to.. This baby is good.. This baby is the kick I need to get healthy.. To make the talk into a lifestyle.. Eating clean.. Getting enough nutrient.. Being good to my body.. Listening to it..
Then of course I started thinking about food.. What to eat, how much to eat.. The math.. You know what I mean.. And I remembered I have this old food plan from this PT - where it has two versions.. I have talked about the low cal version before in some posts I think - but now is not the time for me to under/overeat. The second part of his meal plan is for around 1800 calories. That is actually only 16 calories down from what my BMR is atm. - and as I mentioned before - the baby doesn't need that many extra calories. Jillian was talking about 300 calories a day. So my plan is to follow that 1800 calorie plan - and add a smoothie in as the snack. And then just feel free to have the extra fruit, veg when ever I feel like it. I am also allowing my self the extra cup of popcorn, or a cup of starbucks if I feel like it. And that together is enough calories for me to get the nutrients I need - and still have the extra calories for the baby - and not become an elephant by end of this pregnancy. Anywho - I am putting calorie counting on the shelf, and I am going to start measuring everything according the the plan.
I have also been wondering about this blog, and what to do about it. And every single time I get back to the place where I know for a fact that I love it.. I love you guys, and I would hate to lose you guys and your blogs, your every day, your comments. So the blog is going to stay up - and I hope you don't get sick of my whining - and I hope you will still be there even with the baby weight ect.
Wish me luck hehe - I am sure it is needed