Family..

A couple of days ago some girl added me on Facebook.. I don't normally add people unless I am sure I know  who they are. This girl turns out to be my cousin. I knew my uncle in the US had a daughter but never knew her name or anything.

I accepted the request and last night I logged on and she was online.. We were talking for hours and it felt like we have been friends for years.. It felt so good to have a family member on my dads side who I can actually talk to. She knows my dad.. I am not sure if I mentioned it before - but my dad died before I was born.. But before that he used to spend a bunch of time in the US with his brother - so when she was around 2-3 years old, my dad was her fav uncle.

She has so many memories and thoughts of him.. Those memories and thoughts are so new to me.. No one ever really told anything about him to me.. When my mother remarried my stepdad - all I heard about my dad was "oh he was a bastard" .. I didn't have any contact with his family after that until I was 20 something.. And even then when I met my gran and aunt in Germany.. They never really talked about how he was.

Since my dads body never was found, my gran believes that he is going to come home some day.. And because of that no one talks about him as if he is dead. He is just "away".. So this is all new to me. And it feels good to hear that he was a funny loving man.

My cousin is around 5 years older than me and she is amazing. She lives in DC and she is a strenght and yoga instructor. She works with a bunch of private clients - even some movie stars.. She looks like those girls you see on fitness blogs and she has the most amazing body.. She is very very beautiful.. And this girls - she reeks confidence.. She is so vivid and so in tune and it is the first time I have had a female member of my family being this way.. She reminds me so much about my self before my Dutch ex..I used to reek confidence.. And I felt like I was the most beautiful girl where ever I went.. She really makes me want to go get back to that..

We have other things in common.. She also moved out in a very young age and has been standing on her own from a very young age. It is sad - but her relationship with her mother is sort of as messed up as mine.. But in a way - it feels good to have someone who can relate.

This morning I saw that she had left me a song on facebook. She wrote that when we were chatting yesterday - she kept thinking of this song.. And I wanted to share it with you.. Hope you enjoy it :)

Anyway...

Back to work for now..


<3