A new day..

I want to start with saying thanks for the support and your kind words on the posts I made yesterday. I was having a really hard time dealing with it and it came as a shock. But I am OK today. I am out of energy and had a hard time getting up even after almost 10 hours of sleep, but this is "normal".. I always get the no energy, I am a walking zombie day after an emotional day like I had yesterday. But I slept and today I am dealing with it.
@ Ulla: I have emailed around to see if there is another doctor I can see that actually knows more about this illness and that will not say moronic stuff like get an aspirin. But she did call me yesterday and told me that she had discussed the matter with her "mentor" apparently she wasn't a "proper" doctor.. *sigh* .. They are going to send me the note so I can pick up the proper painkillers. So that's good but ya.. I hope those email result in something good cause I can't keep having days like this over and over heh.
But the whole situation has triggered something.. It is giving me the will to control the things I can control in my life. I am going to pick up gym. I have to get stronger. I need to work out, get in proper shape. I need to be very careful about what I put in my mouth and get in my body OR what I don't put in it..
Anyways starting a get back in track and get your shit together program. Getting back to the gym. I don't really care if I just go there and walk or whatever. I am going to get going every week day. Weekend opening hours at our gym are sucky- so it will be something at home.
Anyways- the new plan is to keep to modifast and only modifast for until 27th of July. No alternations. Hit the gym every week day. Get off my ass and do something in the weekends. I have to remember to take my supplements.. I keep forgetting them.. But I have to remember them. Also listen to the "you can be thing" audio track every night to keep "programming" my brain.
On another note I am making a change in my reward plan. I had put up an GHD flat iron as my first reward but my BF got it for me on Saturday. He knows I have been wanting one for ages- and it was on sale. So I am removing it from my reward list. I am not replacing it with anything else. I don't really see a reason why.
I also bought a couple pairs of shoes. It was on a get two pay for 1 sale. And I loved them so I got one in pale pink and one in black. I know, maybe wrong to get two of the same in different colours but they are soo comfy and I wasn't going to use my "free" shoe to get something really cheap..

I am going to use the pink one at the wedding. It wont really show but I wanted something comfy and still pretty to wear. And the black one is a more everyday kind of shoe. Now I just need a wardrobe to match my shoe collection lol..
Another change I want to make is to get up earlier.. I want to get up earlier and get my face on properly. Lately I haven't been wearing any makeup and my hair is giving me hell... So I guess 30 mins earlier in the mornings should fix that.
I am going to put up the modifast values in "my fitness pal" and start keeping track of everything. I also am going to start keeping track of how much I drink. I might even make a page and post it on weekly bases.

Anywho.. I am gonna finish this post with a clip I saw on facebook yesterday. Gotta love Nicole Richie hehe

Wishing you all a good day <3

Edit: OMG! Have a look at this clip.. Wow..

Another 1,5 lbs down!

I am doing really good following the Modifast plan. Day 2 and a total of 5 lbs down is ttly YAY worthy ( as Ulla puts it ^^) hehe. So now it's 5 down 121 to go lol..

I still haven't gotten my bum to the gym, and I have no proper excuse but the fact that BF is pretty "needy" being all sick for ages and that I am just so tired cause I sleep too little cause of it. I have no idea how to just get going.. And yes I should maybe just go even if I don't feel like it and see how it goes.. 

Anywho.. I doubt I will have the same amount of WL all the time. I have heard that you lose a whole lot in the first week and then it slows down, and for keep it going down properly and shape the body I HAVE TO get to the gym. So I will have to do something it to get the motivation to get going. I think when I first get there and get past the first few days that it will be fine. The "problem" will be the first time. 

So today (at work) I am going to look for a lot of  "how to get started" motivation and sett my mind to it. I mean I am now OK with living on the modifast. Last night I was hungry and my tummy was rumbeling.. And Hells kitchen was on TV, and I just had made the BF a thai dish for dinner so the house was smelling so yum..  So instead of giving inn and having a "taste" I just closed my eyes and visualised the "thin me" .. I guess the Marisa Peer books are paying off in other ways than making me sick hehehe. Then I had a HUGE glass of water and enjoyed the feeling of being hungry.. I really really embraced it and loved it.. Is that too weird? It might be, I didn't eat. And I have decided that I am going to keep doing it. So my new rule is: 

"Every time I feel hungry, I will have some cold water and then close my eyes and visualise a thin me, the me that I am proud to show off, the one who can wear anything and shop anywhere"

Maybe I should do the same for the gym. Just decide that I love it, and that I want to go and keep repeating it until I believe it. According to Marisa Peer, you can "program" your self to believe anything. That's why it is so important to not talk down about your self cause if you keep doing it then you will become it. 

Anyways, going to be busy at work the next few hours.. Laters :)

Edit:

Yaay! I got my period! OMG I am soo relieved.. I am so not ready for kids... Thank God! peeeww! ^^

Edit #2:
A tad more relaxed at work now, so I thought I would post a couple of pix from the shoes I got when I was in London.. I have always had an obsession with shoes.. Anyways these are from New Look and they don't cost much at all. The pink ones look much nice¨r IRL than on the pics ^^

Argh tiny pics but meh.. Pretty huh?? and the black ones are so comfo! 

Impulse shopping ftw... Along with a whole lot of blab! ;)

I have always had a thing for shoes.. I just love them.. They are pretty.. And they always fit.. No matter how skinny or how fat you get.. Your shoes will always fit.. I have a whole lot of socalled unpractical shoes which are so so pretty hehe.. Some I can barely walk in but ya..

Anyways lately I catch my self spending more and more money on gym cloths.. shoes and such. I have been seeing alot of articles about the easy tone shoes but I never actually bothered trying them on. But yesterday I just tried them on, and I dunno if it's cause in such a crap shape or what, but I could feel it in my leggs and lower part of my bum after only trying them on for 5 mins in the store.. So there I went and spent a whole lot of cash on them.. And I don't know if its just cause I want to think that they are working, or that they actually are, but ya..I am very happy about the shoes, and how the feel like in my leggs and such.. Oh and it really gets your upper legg muscles going when you go up the stairs on them..

Other thing I bought is the smart and fit shake. I'm sorry that there isn't any proper English info about this product. It is basicly a protein shake with low cal and carbs. Putting up a picture of the nutrition facts of this product :

I find it hard to eat in the mornings and I have been trying to find a solution to that. After I read Rusty's plan I decided going with a low cal protein shake is maybe a good idea. It tastes ok and it was pretty cheap.

I have this idea about what to eat and have controll over what I can eat without eating more than what I am "allowed".
Bfast: 103 calories
Protein shake

Lunch: 344 calories
- 2 slices of wholewheat bread 214 calories
. Green salad, paprica, cucumber around 30 calories
- 100 grams of turkey ham 100 calories

Dinner: 447
- Grilled chicken filet/ fish filet around 200 calories depending on the size
- Portion of wholewheat couscous 248 calories
- 100 grams of broccoli/cauliflower 30 calories


That makes the total 893 calories per day, which gives me room for a no fat yoghurt or a piece of fruit incase I feel like I need something else to eat on the workout days. 


No more binging.. Overeating.. *keeps them crossed*