My own little superstar!

My son turned 1 yesterday!!! Can you believe it?? He is getting so big and is just such a happy little one :) 

He got his first cake yesterday, most of it was on the floor by the time he was done playing with it, and I can happily report that he has gotten his dads "I do not like sweets" genes. I bakes a simple yellow cake and topped it with a whole lot of vanilla frosting.. 

He got it little cracker by the time he had reached the middle of his smashing and it really made him happy :) Today we had my husbands family over and as you can guess there was more cake!! I baked chocolate chip muffins with more vanilla frosting! We also had some chocolate mud cake! 

He has just learned how to blow so he had a whole lot of fun trying to blow out the candle.. With a little help he managed to do it over and over and over again lol 

Anyways - I hope you guys had a good weekend.. Tomorrow is a new day and it means a new start and I am going to hop back on the LCHF wagon.. What are your plans for the coming week? 

My life..

I feel like my life is such a mess right now.. Things aren't going the way I want them to and I am falling apart. I have been having mental meltdowns pretty much every night.. And the way I "deal" with things is to binge.. It makes me feel OK the moment it is happening, but the pressure, the guilt and the shame afterward makes me crash again..

My son has been sick for a couple of weeks now, it's nothing serious, it's a cold, but he has been running a fever on and off, and he has this rash that doctor called for a virus rash, and keeps coming and going.. It looks horrible, it almost looks like someone has dipped him in boiling water.. It goes away within the hour and he isn't in any pain or discomfort because of it but it really is stressing me out. He has always been a tad underweight and now since he has a cold he isn't eating much either.. Which is another stress moment. We also finally got a notice on day care - and he has been accepted to start from 1st of January.. Even though we applied for him to be given a spot when he was a couple of weeks old, we have had to call and nag the people taking care of it almost every single day.. And even with all those calls and everything he didn't get a spot in the daycare we wanted him to.. I have no idea how the place he is going to start at works.. We are going to see if we can visit them and take it from there.. but yeah.. And the whole day care thing... Well lets say it is taking it's toll on me.. Scandinavian winters are though, and they call January and February for "sick kid" months, and that is when he is going to start.. My little baby is still small and I am so worried that he will be sick until spring time..

I wish I could keep him at home until spring, but we just can not afford it. The last couple of months have been really hard on our economics.. While I have been on my leave our income has gone down .. By a lot.. And the last couple of months we have had to take a lot of money out of our saving account to actually manage to pay everything and live.. With the expenses for my driving classes we are not far from hitting our bottom line and this is not something I have had to think about or deal with in years.. When you are alone, and have money problems is stressful enough but when you have a little one to think of, house loan and car and everything else it just is too much...

On top of everything is my body.. I am trying my best not to hate it.. But really.. It is impossible.. And I know it's not it's fault, it is all on me.. but I am just soo sick and tired of all the pain, moodswings and everything.. With all the binges I have also gained back what ever I had lost with the LCHF.. And the jumping on and off the low carb high fat diet is really fucking my mood even more..

I am just fed up.. And it is affecting not only my self, but my relationship with my husband too.. I am annoyed with him like 90% of the time, and I know that it's not fair cause he is doing his best, but I am so tired and miserable so often... And well, he is there..

Right now as in today I am just going to take one day at the time.. Hoping not to be this depressed and no binge...

I just want to be normal... No more ed no more depression.. Just normal

I don't think it will ever happen .... 

Update!

I want to first start off answering Tempest before I forget it (again :s)
- They say that when you eat too much protein the extra protein will up the insulin levels.. A LCHF diet wants you to stay around 25%.. So if you are aiming to eat around 1400-1500 calories as I do it is around 95 grams of protein. So everything over 100 grams of protein would be counted as too much protein.. (I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around that)..

Anyways as far as the diet goes I am going back on LCHF again tomorrow.. After 1,5 day on "normal" food I feel sick, bloated, out of energy and all around crappy.. There is however a couple of things I will do differently.. 1: I will not add a huge chunk of butter on each of my meals.. I mean come on.. I like butter sure, but I don't like to just have butter to have it.. It just is not normal to me.. I will try to up my fat intake as much as possible, but I am not eating butter just to eat butter!!! 2: I don't want to limit my veggies. The last week the only veggies I have had has been broccoli, mushroom, and leafy greens! Oh and I had zucchini once.. I don't mind limiting the amount of veggies I have but I really don't want to limit the kind of veggies I have.

And hay.. If I do go through another week of feeling crap then it is worth it cause I really felt good on LCHF..

Tonight however - there shall be some cake!

A day at the hospital and I sure have eaten my self out of ketosis.... The options of what you can have when you are there are very very very limited.

I don't know if I can handle another week of extreme headaches and horrible shape to go cold turkey with carbs again.. But I know for a fact that I will be limiting my carbs. Maybe I will just hop on the GI diet right away.. I dunno.. I guess I have until tomorrow to figure it out.. Right now I am kind of woozy, very very tired and just want to do nothing..

I'll update and let you know what I decided to do, and how it goes in a few days I think.

Planning ahead..

The more I learn about LCHF the more I get to understand that I am eating too much protein. The recommended amount of fat is a handful with each meal.. Even though I am loving a whole lot of things about LCHF but the amount of fat is also starting to bother me. And I know for a fact that this is not a lifestyle I want for the rest of my life. 

My goal is to stick to this diet until end of this year (I wont be as strict for Christmas dinner and such) - but after that I am need to make a change. As I have mentioned before I know for sure that I want another kid - and if everything goes well tomorrow and the doctors say that it is OK, we want to try for the next baby around next spring. This means that I can not live on a LCHF diet even if I wanted to. 

The perks of a low carb diet or lifestyle if you rather want to call it, are plenty - so after thinking a whole lot about it and talking to hubby I have decided that when 2014 is here I will start a GI diet. This diet isn't really that different from the LCHF, the main differences are that carbs are not banned.. You eat carbs, but you eat complex carbs. And you do not top everything with a handful of butter! I miss being able to eat fruit and a bunch of veggies that normal for me. I love beans, lentil based stews and soups, nuts and most of these food are too high carb for LCHF. And the GI diet is one you can actually be on while you are pregnant. This is the diet you are recommended if you have gestational diabetes. 

Anyways, I still have 1,5 months left with LCHF, but as you know I love planning ahead. 

<3

Too fat

I am too fat for my scale to measure my fat % and so on... 

First I thought it was the scale so I changed the batteries and redid my stats and still kept getting an error .. 

I made my hubby try it and it works fine... Error 4 = you are too fat for us to measure... 

I'm so depressed I want to cut of a limb or two....