So far so good!

I must actually admit that I am really enjoying the whole skipping food during the day and eating a proper dinner thingi.. Yesterday we went out for indian for our "day" - and it was really good, but OMG... I got so fucking sick on our way home.. How could I be so stupid?
So far I have learned this:
I can not have any sort of milk - unless it's soya or almond. I can have very small amount of it, if it is cooked properly (like in soups or w/e) . I had my fav coffee today, and after half a cup I was really sick again.. So that is not happening again. As far as wheat goes... I can not have any sort of white version of it. I can have very small amount of the brown version of it but very very very tiny amount. I am going to avoid it as much as possible. I am using spelt instead and that is working fine for me. I just have a really hard time to find products with spelt that do not have wheat in it.

Work is still way too busy, and I am really dead by the end of the day and it is really frustrating.

As far as school goes, I don't think I am going to pick the classes. I get up around 6 am and work is finished 5pm - and if we go home right after work, we are home around 6 pm. By the time we have made dinner and eaten it's 7 - If we exercise, we aren't done before 8-9 pm. And by that time - I am done... I have no will or energy to study.

I have been thinking and considering my weight - I think it is a smarter choice of me to focus on my health and on losing weight than finishing those classes cause i don't want to waste the money I spent on it. If I could study during the weekends and get ready for the exams while following the online sessions it would be different.. But I have to deliver a bunch of tests/projects and I have to have passed like 5 of 7 ect before I can even consider the exams.. The tests/projects are all to be delivered during the week day, Friday before noon the latest.. So ya.. I guess I will put this in my "things I started and never finished and wasted loads of money on it" file - and rather work on my weight..

Anywho - off for now..


<3

Edit:

I think i want to put up a mini goal.. I want to lose 7 lbs by valentines! Lets see how it goes :)

The warrior diet.. Ish?

So I have had my week of being out of counting and shape and tired.. I had my crash this weekend and I managed to get some really needed rest. I consider my self lucky since I have "only" gained 1 pound...
I have noticed a few things about my eating lately.. I get full so much faster than I used to.. I stop eating when I am full.. I don't hate being hungry.. I don't panic over it any longer.
That is good isn't it?
I always have a hard time knowing what to eat at work. I always end up in some sort of panic mode when I think about it. But the fact of the matter is that most days, I don't really mind not eating during the day...Fair enough - I get the starving feeling by the end of the day.. But I am pretty sure I can control it with enough liquids - and maybe a piece of fruit by the end of the day.. So why not take the warrior approach? - You don't eat during the day, and then at dinner time you get to eat one proper meal. You wont feel like you are cheating and you wont feel guilty over eating what you really want for dinner. Toss some exercise into the picture and I really don't see where it could go wrong..
Anyway, as you might have guessed I didn't get on with the 30 day shred as I had planned.. But now that I feel rested I feel like I am ready to go for it. The whole "get up earlier" was a bust, so the new plan is to do it right after I get home.. I get home, change, and do it before I eat. Have you noticed that sometimes you eat much less after you exercise?
Ah well.. I am going to spend some time with hubby before bed.. Tomorrow, we have been married for 6 months.. Time just flies by doesn't it?
Hope you all have been having a good weekend!


<3

Tired...

Work has been insane since last Friday. On the good side, the days go by too fast for me to even notice them, on the bad side, I am tttly burned out. My eats have been... Well I am not sure. I have been eating Ok pretty much every day.. But this whole stress shit is killing me.. Every inch of my body aches.. That's one of the "fun" sides of fibromyalgia... Stress is the killer..
I am also so freaking bloated.. I got worst when I had the pro bio yoghurt in the morning that last couple of days.. It could be that.. Or it could be the wheat intolerance most of the fibromyalgia patient develop... I am so sick of feeling this way that I am cutting all wheat and dairy prodcuts starting tomorrow.
As far as exercising, I haven't been doing any since Saturday.. I am just so dead when I get home - that I can't do much other than to crash. But my Jillian Michaels DVD's got delivered yesterday, and I noticed that the 30 day shred workouts are only 20 minutes. So I am planning on getting up 30 mins earlier and do the work out before work.
I have been very very very bad at tracking too...... But I have made the promiss to my self of getting back to it again. I will make the time and afford to track even if it means that I write it down on post-its and fill my MFP later in the day..
I am not going to get on the scale until Monday morning. I hope the bloat will be better by then.. Forgot to mention that I have been having insane pain in the stomach too - so now I'm on pills for that too.. But it feels like they are helping already so I guess that's good...

Ah well :) I am going to end up this wall of text.. I want to go to bed early today.. I am just too tired..

<3

Ah well...

So as you might have picked on - I wasn't in the greatest mood yesterday.. Work was.. Well it was too much.. And then my team leader had an almost break down lol.. Which means I had to jump in.. Which means I was taking calls in English, Swedish, Norwegian, Danish.. And going through mail (I had 60 mail cases closed by the end of the day) - and I was in the middle of this running around helping the guys with the cases they were stucked on . and I was couching a new dude..
I love my team leader. He is a year younger than me - and he is just a sweetheart.. He is the nicest guy, and we are really close. And his "episode" yesterday really broke my heart.. And then in a team where I am the only girl, AKA the only one they actually listen to, when they see that I am getting pissed lol.. And the only one that can multi task.. Well - ya...... I normally don't mind days like this, but I was pretty messed up my self already.. And I really didn't have the energy for it. But it went fine.

I came home . had some soup.. And well as you might have seen on my MFP account, I had a binge.. I guess it was pretty "small" considering I was just about 150 cals over my daily budget.. And then I got sick.. :S I don't really count it as a B/P session cause I didn't really had a choice.. My body wanted it all out.. and it forced it out.. I guess I am glad it did - cause that means I didn't gain anything..

Today we are supposed to be cleaning around the flat - but its 1 pm and I have gotten as far as making breakfast for hubby. We are going out for dinner. Sushi.. I am going for the vegetarian option as I normally do. I have so far had coffee and one bite of hubbys breakfast to see if it's cooked. And I'm really not hungry yet.. So will see, I might just not have anything until dinner - it's only 6 hours away, and I still need to shower and get hubby to move and start cleaning the place.

Also need to go out and buy a wifi receiver for the new PC that we haven't put up yet.. So I think I cam manage on liquids until dinner.

To answer the question about who that girl in this post is Ashley Greene. You might know her as Alice Cullen from the twilight saga movies. :)

Thanks for the comments on my last two posts <3 I am going to keep going and as you all say, the scale will move..

I am going to get going now. Have a great weekend ladies

Why is it so hard?

I did have my negative calories on Wednesday. Not many but I had a -6! Which is a first time ever for me. Yesterdays net was pretty good too.. I ended up around 381. But the scale has barely been moving. It has moved with almost a pound :(

And this is making me really sad, cause I have been very careful, and I been trying to move as much as possible. I have lift up my desk so I am standing instead of sitting behind my desk all day long at work.. I got in 40 mins of exercise on Wednesday, and 30 yesterday (even though I was so tired I was about to pass out) .. 

And what happens? Nothing?? 1 lousy pound?? wtf :( 

Ah well... I just have to keep going.. It should be moving more soon.. I am not going to stop because I am not seeing the results I want.. But it is making me very sad .. I know it sounds pretty stupid, but after my workout yesterday I just sat down and had a long cry.. Hubby was looking at me not understading what is happening, but I guess I can't explain this to him.. So I didn't.. 

I can not explain how I hate to look at my self in the mirror.. How I hate the way my body feels when I am moving it..  How sick I am of all the "space" I am taking.. How every time he tells me that I am sexy or beautiful, the first thing on my mind is "Please stop - and open your eyes, I am NOT" ... How am I to explain to him that the reason for why I hate my body and its look now more than I have ever done before is because he is sooo freaking skinny.. That I feel like a giant next to him.. That sometimes, I feel so huge beside him that I am afraid I am going to crush him ?? ... 

Meh.. I am sorry for being a downer.. I just am not feeling all great today. 

I have decided I am going to start posting my weekly calorie reports every Sunday. I seem to be able to get nice looking reports on my Ipad - So I thought I would just screen shot it from there, send it to my self and post it. Not all my days have been good (Last Sunday, and this weeks Tuesday) but ya.. 

If you however would like to snoop around my eats, feel free to have a look at my MFP diary  - I have made it public now because I figured for me to be able to stay true to what I am doing, I need to be open about it. 

Anywho... Insane day at work today. We are lacking people so it's too much to do. I will make a proper post this weekend


<3

Crabby and cranky....

Meh - I am having one of those days.. Well actually I have been having one of those nights and now days...

Got home after work yesterday to find a notification from our janitor saying that they have had to close down the buildings hot water cause apparently someone had an accident and didn't fix it - and now we have a huge leak.. Which means no shower  - which means no exercise (I didn't want to get all sweaty and stink today at work :S ) - which means I haven't lost a single pound this week .. I have actually gained like 100 grams ish - I'm not stressting over the 100 grams - that is like 0.2lbs.. but I am also restricting properly today..

I have planned inn black coffee - green tea - and a coke zero for work. I might have a fruit of some sort if I am starving before I go home, maybe a protein shake (103) maybe both even , will see.. I am going to have a can of weight watcher soup (114 cals) for dinner. And I am going to do 1 hour on the WiiFit when I get home. I am going to do a combo of the "free run"" - Boxing and step.. (last time I did this combo I burned almost 500 cals) which means it will be negative calorie day.

And hopefully tomorrow the scale will move again... (in the right direction)

-----
It suddenly got really busy at work. So I'm going to just publish this post for now :)

<3


Edit:

Don't you just love her??

TGIM?? ...

I am actually glad that it is Monday.. The weekend with no internet has been horrid.. I know that I had the cellphone - and that it is good to have a break from it all - but OMG! I haz needz for my internetz! lol . We bought a new PC on Saturday that I haven't been able to set up because of the lack of internet too - so all in all it was maybe a tad more annoying that it would have been normally.

Yesterday - my eats weren't that good.. They were actually pretty horrid.. But I am not too worried about it. I always get a food kick when I use the painkillers and it was sort of given (thank God I rarely use them anymore - the fibromyalgia Gods have been kind to me the last few months) .. I was very well under my weekly calorie budget , but that said, I still want to take it easy with calories and carbs today.. 

Last week I got inn 6 exercise sessions - all around 30 minutes except from Sunday morning where I got in 1 hour. Pretty happy about it.. Also - the storm has passed our town now - so I am thinking about starting the C25K today or tomorrow. I have to see how late I get home today. 

I want to say thanks for the comments and welcome to the new followers :) 

@ Miranda: The classes are equal to the first year of a bachelor program. But - if I would want to - I could build on with higher level in the same subject - but I doubt that I will. I think if everything goes well - that I will build on it with some project and personal management courses. Will see :) 

@ Claire: I used Myfitnesspal.com - my username there is Kittz30 - so feel free to give me a poke if you want to :) Just make sure to say that it's you - cause the "normal" ppl there freak me out.... 

To the rest of you ladies, thank you so much for the love and support. :) 

Wish you all a great day - and a great week :) 

<3