My own little superstar!

My son turned 1 yesterday!!! Can you believe it?? He is getting so big and is just such a happy little one :) 

He got his first cake yesterday, most of it was on the floor by the time he was done playing with it, and I can happily report that he has gotten his dads "I do not like sweets" genes. I bakes a simple yellow cake and topped it with a whole lot of vanilla frosting.. 

He got it little cracker by the time he had reached the middle of his smashing and it really made him happy :) Today we had my husbands family over and as you can guess there was more cake!! I baked chocolate chip muffins with more vanilla frosting! We also had some chocolate mud cake! 

He has just learned how to blow so he had a whole lot of fun trying to blow out the candle.. With a little help he managed to do it over and over and over again lol 

Anyways - I hope you guys had a good weekend.. Tomorrow is a new day and it means a new start and I am going to hop back on the LCHF wagon.. What are your plans for the coming week? 

My life..

I feel like my life is such a mess right now.. Things aren't going the way I want them to and I am falling apart. I have been having mental meltdowns pretty much every night.. And the way I "deal" with things is to binge.. It makes me feel OK the moment it is happening, but the pressure, the guilt and the shame afterward makes me crash again..

My son has been sick for a couple of weeks now, it's nothing serious, it's a cold, but he has been running a fever on and off, and he has this rash that doctor called for a virus rash, and keeps coming and going.. It looks horrible, it almost looks like someone has dipped him in boiling water.. It goes away within the hour and he isn't in any pain or discomfort because of it but it really is stressing me out. He has always been a tad underweight and now since he has a cold he isn't eating much either.. Which is another stress moment. We also finally got a notice on day care - and he has been accepted to start from 1st of January.. Even though we applied for him to be given a spot when he was a couple of weeks old, we have had to call and nag the people taking care of it almost every single day.. And even with all those calls and everything he didn't get a spot in the daycare we wanted him to.. I have no idea how the place he is going to start at works.. We are going to see if we can visit them and take it from there.. but yeah.. And the whole day care thing... Well lets say it is taking it's toll on me.. Scandinavian winters are though, and they call January and February for "sick kid" months, and that is when he is going to start.. My little baby is still small and I am so worried that he will be sick until spring time..

I wish I could keep him at home until spring, but we just can not afford it. The last couple of months have been really hard on our economics.. While I have been on my leave our income has gone down .. By a lot.. And the last couple of months we have had to take a lot of money out of our saving account to actually manage to pay everything and live.. With the expenses for my driving classes we are not far from hitting our bottom line and this is not something I have had to think about or deal with in years.. When you are alone, and have money problems is stressful enough but when you have a little one to think of, house loan and car and everything else it just is too much...

On top of everything is my body.. I am trying my best not to hate it.. But really.. It is impossible.. And I know it's not it's fault, it is all on me.. but I am just soo sick and tired of all the pain, moodswings and everything.. With all the binges I have also gained back what ever I had lost with the LCHF.. And the jumping on and off the low carb high fat diet is really fucking my mood even more..

I am just fed up.. And it is affecting not only my self, but my relationship with my husband too.. I am annoyed with him like 90% of the time, and I know that it's not fair cause he is doing his best, but I am so tired and miserable so often... And well, he is there..

Right now as in today I am just going to take one day at the time.. Hoping not to be this depressed and no binge...

I just want to be normal... No more ed no more depression.. Just normal

I don't think it will ever happen .... 

Update!

I want to first start off answering Tempest before I forget it (again :s)
- They say that when you eat too much protein the extra protein will up the insulin levels.. A LCHF diet wants you to stay around 25%.. So if you are aiming to eat around 1400-1500 calories as I do it is around 95 grams of protein. So everything over 100 grams of protein would be counted as too much protein.. (I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around that)..

Anyways as far as the diet goes I am going back on LCHF again tomorrow.. After 1,5 day on "normal" food I feel sick, bloated, out of energy and all around crappy.. There is however a couple of things I will do differently.. 1: I will not add a huge chunk of butter on each of my meals.. I mean come on.. I like butter sure, but I don't like to just have butter to have it.. It just is not normal to me.. I will try to up my fat intake as much as possible, but I am not eating butter just to eat butter!!! 2: I don't want to limit my veggies. The last week the only veggies I have had has been broccoli, mushroom, and leafy greens! Oh and I had zucchini once.. I don't mind limiting the amount of veggies I have but I really don't want to limit the kind of veggies I have.

And hay.. If I do go through another week of feeling crap then it is worth it cause I really felt good on LCHF..

Tonight however - there shall be some cake!

A day at the hospital and I sure have eaten my self out of ketosis.... The options of what you can have when you are there are very very very limited.

I don't know if I can handle another week of extreme headaches and horrible shape to go cold turkey with carbs again.. But I know for a fact that I will be limiting my carbs. Maybe I will just hop on the GI diet right away.. I dunno.. I guess I have until tomorrow to figure it out.. Right now I am kind of woozy, very very tired and just want to do nothing..

I'll update and let you know what I decided to do, and how it goes in a few days I think.

Planning ahead..

The more I learn about LCHF the more I get to understand that I am eating too much protein. The recommended amount of fat is a handful with each meal.. Even though I am loving a whole lot of things about LCHF but the amount of fat is also starting to bother me. And I know for a fact that this is not a lifestyle I want for the rest of my life. 

My goal is to stick to this diet until end of this year (I wont be as strict for Christmas dinner and such) - but after that I am need to make a change. As I have mentioned before I know for sure that I want another kid - and if everything goes well tomorrow and the doctors say that it is OK, we want to try for the next baby around next spring. This means that I can not live on a LCHF diet even if I wanted to. 

The perks of a low carb diet or lifestyle if you rather want to call it, are plenty - so after thinking a whole lot about it and talking to hubby I have decided that when 2014 is here I will start a GI diet. This diet isn't really that different from the LCHF, the main differences are that carbs are not banned.. You eat carbs, but you eat complex carbs. And you do not top everything with a handful of butter! I miss being able to eat fruit and a bunch of veggies that normal for me. I love beans, lentil based stews and soups, nuts and most of these food are too high carb for LCHF. And the GI diet is one you can actually be on while you are pregnant. This is the diet you are recommended if you have gestational diabetes. 

Anyways, I still have 1,5 months left with LCHF, but as you know I love planning ahead. 

<3

Too fat

I am too fat for my scale to measure my fat % and so on... 

First I thought it was the scale so I changed the batteries and redid my stats and still kept getting an error .. 

I made my hubby try it and it works fine... Error 4 = you are too fat for us to measure... 

I'm so depressed I want to cut of a limb or two.... 

Recap week one!

I have had 7 full days on LCHF and let me tell you I LOVE it! After a couple of days in I did feel a whole lot of fatigue, and woke up with a horrid headache, but it seems to be easing off now. I read that it is actually a normal reaction for people like me who go pretty much cold turkey and lower their carb intake as much as I did! This week i have tried and learned. And I am understanding what works best for me.. 

So lets see how this week has gone.. 

I started this journey weighing a horrid 258lbs! This morning the scale showed 250lbs... That is a wonderful 8 lbs loss! 

Goals: Cals, 1500, Carbs 19, Fat 117, Protein 94! 

Day 1: Cals 1028, Carbs 28, Fat 66, Protein 90. Fiber 12 

Day 2: Cals 1044, Carbs 21, Fat 83, Protein 63, Fiber 3

Day 3: Cals 938, Carbs 25, Fat 63, Protein 73, Fiber 7

Day 4: Cals 1359, Carbs 18, Fat 107, Protein 93, Fiber 2

Day 5: Cals 1737, Carbs 16, Fat 131, Protein 124, Fiber 4 

Days 6: Cals 1428, Carbs 15, Fat 117, Protein 82, Fiber 6

Day 7: Cals 1466, Carbs 12, Fat 115, Protein 91, Fiber 3

And I drink around 16-20 cups of water and a bunch of tea/coffee! 

As you see I started the week eating too little (I just wasn't hungry)  - then even though I upped my cals I crashed and had too much of everything.. The last two days have been more under control. And the numbers are more where they are supposed to be. 

I still haven't started exercising.. And I probably wont be able to do it either since I have the whole hospital thing coming up this Monday. But the diet is something I can do so I am sticking to it and it will hopefully get me where I need to be. 

I hope you all have a great weekend :) 

<3 

Too much protein!

Seems like I am eating too much protein to have the max effect from the LCHF diet. Going to try to up my fat intake and this is scaring the hell out of me cause I feel like I am already adding loads of fat to everything... 

I have also decided to start doing wiifit again - It was a very light exercise that I can easily do at home after my son goes to bed and even though it doesn't sound like much it used to up my heartbeat without being too hard on my knees and so on. I have a couple of other wii exercise games like boxing and Zumba too, so it won't be the same thing over and over. I figured if doing something fun and easy like wii will help me burn around 300+ calories in around 30 mins, I should just do it even though to many it is not proper exercise. Anyways - aiming to burn 1500 calories a week on home exercises a week. 

@tempest : they are huge low carb fans here in Sweden. They aren't for the extreme strict version but a whole lot of doctors and so on are recommending people to eat more and more GI foods. There are even really good GI frozen microwave meals with low sodium that are being sold cheaper than the normal ones for those who need easy options. 

Here the kids are fed at school ect and now they are even changing their old "plate method " aka 1/3 veggies meat carb to serving more GI food. Most kinder gardens also have their own chef and focus on locally produced, Eco friendly products - and the ones that do the best job with all it including teaching kids about recycling and proper food and so on get what is called a green flag .. :) which it's the ultimate seal of approval from a whole lot of parents! 

I follow lovehealthlifts blog on tumblr :) her blog is the one that inspired me to give LCHF a proper go!! She actually mentions my tumblr blog on her keto guide! 

It went fine!

Thanks for your support last night.. It went fine :)
I ate some roasted chicken and had some more water and went to bed. So that bump is over and I am so glad I remembered that I am on a LCHF diet and that means it is actually OK to eat something when I need something to munch on as long as it's not carby.

Today I woke up with a fever so my husband stayed home to take care of my son. They went out for a play date and I have had some alone time. Time alone means I can actually think without having to think about everyone else. Anyways I was thinking that one of the reasons why I was crashing yesterday is because I didn't plan my meals better. So I have decided to focus on having 3 proper meals a day. This way I will get full and it will also prevent all the random small snacking.

The other mistake I made was that I didn't drink enough water. Anyways - new day, and it will go better.

I think I have reached the crash part of week one on LCHF... I am so moody and everything is horrid :s
Need to stay focused... Need to stay strong..
I will stay focused.. I will stay strong...

Remember where you want to be, and not what you might want now.. 

I just need to stick to this and focus for few more days and it will all get good again..

Fat head!

Watching it as we speak.. I just LOVE food documentaries, and now that my son is asleep I can actually take the time to watch them all!

LCHF update..

The diet is going really well.. I have had a tad of headache, and I need to use the bathroom OFTEN, but other than that it's been going well..

I didn't manage to stay off the scale as I plann-ed and stepped on it today. I have lost almost 4lbs since I started the diet, and mind you I just started my shark week last night.. I am very happy with the numbers! But the thing I am amazed about, and it is something that I noticed already after only one day is that I am not bloated! I have had a whole lot of issues with it, but when I woke up Saturday morning, I was shocked when I looked in the mirror...

Today has been a real trial.. We had the traditional Swedish goose dinner (although we had it for lunch) at my husbands grandparents. Normally you are to have it November 10th but we had it today since they are going on vacation in a couple of days and are away for a couple of weeks. My carbs were a tad higher than I would like them to be (25grams), but I did really good and I am actually proud of my self. I skipped starters (creamy mushroom soup), I skipped most of the sides (roasted apples, apple sauce, roasted prunes, roasted potatoes), and I skipped dessert (apple cake with vanilla sauce). I also removed all the skin and fat from the meat, and only had water instead of wine. So all in all I did good, even though the carbs are higher than I would like. Who knew that I could say no to dessert...

Another thing that I am surprised by is that my calories are not as high as I thought they would be.. I set a goal of not eating over 1500 calories, but it seems like I don't have to worry about it at all even though I am adding butter/oil/mayo to almost all of my meals. (Friday 1028 cals - Saturday 1044 cals - today will be 938 cals) , and I haven't been hungry.. I am hungry as we speak but that it because the lunch I had today didn't contain enough protein, but then again it's dinner time in hour or so.

All in all this has been good. And I really believe that this is a diet that I can stick to for a good while. Hopefully I will lose some proper weight by new years and can start working out without it killing my knee's ect. By then I will have my license as well, so getting to the gym will be easier.

My next big trial will be in 3 weeks when we are celebrating my sons first birthday. I will be baking a bunch and it will be a whole lot of cake and so on around for two days. My new mantra is "Remember where you want to be and not what you think you want right now".. I guess I just need to keep remembering it, and even those days will be OK.

I hope you ladies are having a good weekend.


<3

Scale!

Every time I start on a diet and I actually do well and it shows on the scale I use it as an excuse to "reward" my self.. And sadly enough all my "rewards" are food related..

So to avoid this problem, I am going to only get on the scale twice a month! I was thinking about only doing it once a month but I think I need to see the numbers to stay motivated. I didn't get to weigh my self this morning, but I did yesterday.. I am upping that number cause well, be cause of the Chinese feast we had last night..

Next weigh in will be Nov. 15! That is two weeks from now.. I just hope I don't get disappointed when I step on it..

PS: I commented under your comments on my last post..
PSS: I just noticed my last post, was post 400! My time flies!

Oh and I also changed the page that leads to my eats.. Now it is redirected to my tumblr blog and the food page I have there.. It just makes posting easier..


Now it's Friday! Have a great weekend everyone!