Sometimes I wish I could turn my brain off...

Don't you wish you could turn off your brain sometimes? I know for sure that I do..

Sometimes I wonder if I am one of those people who lives in a fantasy world.. I am so perfect in my head.. I am skinny - I have a great career - I have the best collection of shoes, and purses, and cloths - I am the best wife and mother - I juggle everything, and I do it perfectly!

But then I open my eyes.. I am fat - I am out of shape - I have an OK job - I have a bunch of shoes that I can barely walk in cause I am too fat - I only own cloths that fit me, not cloths I wish I want to wear - I love my husband more than anything on this earth, but I can not be the best wife and make him the happiest I can, before I am happy in my own skin - and a mother.. Well.. I am ready.. I want to have a baby.. But I am dead scared of getting pregnant cause of my weight - I wouldn't hasitate if I was 100 lbs lighter - If I was in shape..

Sometimes I stop up and look in the mirror and just think to my self "what have you done to your self" ... The thing that makes me even more depressed is that I know what to do to fix this shit.. I know it way too well.. I have been obsessed with food and diets ALL of my adult life.. I know every fucking detail about every fucking diet that is out there..

And I am just so sick of my self.. I am THE queen of talks.. I am the queen of planning and never doing it.. You guys know it.. You guys have seen me do it over and over again.. You do not gain 35 lbs over a year not being the queen of excuses - cheats - talks..

This year - I will make a change.. This moment I will make this change.. Ladies, I know you have heard this before but I truely am done disappointing my self..

I'm going to stop the wall of text cause I am actually going to move my butt and get some exercise for a change..



  1. I look forward to seeing you buckle down and do it. You always make some progress; so it's clear that you can...you just have to keep going when it gets harder. Go after what you want.

  2. this is such an inspiring post, babe. we all do the talking, the planning, and that kind of shit but a TON of us just don't do it. <3 i'm looking forward to this new more-so motivated Kitty! good luck, Cupid!!! <3
    -Sam Lupin

  3. I know exactly what you mean about wanting to turn your brain off! I live in a dream world too, but you are amazing and you can make yourself even more amazing :) this year will be the year if you put your mind to it :)
    Good luck!
    Lottie x

  4. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 you can do it! stay strong and stay motivated! xx

  5. I truly believe that you can do this.
    Just keep your head up.


  6. You have met your second in kin for failing at goals!! This girl right here!! I can't tell you how many "To Do, Never TO ACTUALLY DO" lists I make. I am hoping to buckle down and really make progress this year too. Fingers crossed for us both!!

  7. I know exactly what you mean about being perfect in your imaginations.
    I imagine myself in a sexy red dress usually. and i also have many many shoes.
    We can make this year the year we accomplish our dreams.
    No more just planning and talking it is time for actions.

  8. Good luck! You can do it! You're so motivated in this post. Don't let go of this feeling. Stick to it, take it day by day, and with each step you'll be closer to your goals.

  9. "Don't you wish you could turn off your brain sometimes?"

    GOD YES.

  10. It's caloriecount.com - Sam took a print screen of the website with her intakes on it on her last post but one, but there is an app for it too :)
    Lottie x