Yesterdays mess..

Fuck having the period lol.. I was so on the edge all day yesterday.. Moodswings from hell.. And cravings.. Ooooh the cravings.. And I had a really bad binge last night.. It was horrible.. But I guess the bright side of the story is my body reacting to the wheat and the dairy and so on - so most of it came "out".. (sorry for the TMI).. I went on the scale today.. I am up 200 grams.. But considering the binge, the period and everything it's not that bad. I am getting back to normal and it should be over today. 
I am getting on the scale to see what I got to work with after everything this week.. But I must say - I have done pretty good ignoring what happened last night. This means I have 2.8 lbs left to reach my goal by Tuesday morning (The valentine challenge goal).. Ah well.. I will try my best.. And hopefully my body will follow.. 

Over to something different.. How do you truly know that you are ready to get pregnant.. I mean.. I know I have said I will go for it when I have reached a goal of 50 lbs loss.. But lately I have been thinking.. Will I mentally be ready for it? 
I mean.. I have always wanted kids.. And I have my finances under control.. I have a steady job.. An amazing husband.. And I am turning 30 this year.. So why do I always end up with a list of "excuses" when I think about it? ... Have you guys thought about it? .. Most my friends that are around my age already have a kid and on their way to have a second even third.. Maybe I am just scared? .. I really don't know.. 
I know for a fact that if I was to find out that I was pregnant for sure today, that I would deal with it and that I would be the best mum I could ever be (aka nothing like my own mum lol).. But I don't feel "willing" to put it into action.. Do you understand what I mean?? 

Ah well.. Lunch break almost over.. 



  1. well, having a baby is a wonderful thing but it's not easy. You have to understand that you'll have to take care of your kid and bear lot of responsibilities.
    You should wonder what you're afraid of, we cannot tell you.
    But one thing is sure: you could afford a baby if your finances are under control and have a lovely husband. In the end, it's all up to you...
    I wish you good luck! Love, jay :)

  2. I guess the question is, what will happen in 50 pounds? Is it that you believe you will be happier then? Is it health concerns about pregnancy & being overweight? Explore your reasons for delaying. Speaking personally, I know that I will have the same struggles in 50 pounds that I do now unless I manage to change my thought patterns, too. There's not a right or wrong answer, just know for sure why you want what you do.

    I think most people are not really "ready" to have kids - it's just that you figure out how to make it work once it happens. You have a LOT going for you, and you know it - great guy, stable money situation, and the strength to protect your child from what you weren't protected from. You have what it takes, whether you choose to do it now or later.

  3. I'm probably the wrong person to ask b/c we don't want any kids. I feel a bit left out b/c all of our friends are doing it but it's not something we want. I don't want the financial burden or the responsibility of totally changing my life. I have baby cravings but I listen to my head and not those maternal instincts and know it's not for me. You will have to make that decision too. Nobody HAS to have a baby....but do it if you WANT to and even when you want to there will still be fears. It's too big a thing not to have any fear about it.

  4. Argh, I feel ya on the period-misery, it's terrible. I wish I had something smart to say about your baby thoughts, but I really don't. However, I agree with Tempest on every single point she made. You've got what it takes, whether you chose to have a baby or not :) xx

  5. gaah. binges and all. you've been doing well for a long time though. i'm sure a little binge won't matter.
    .2kg is nothing, babe.
    i don't...i don't know about a baby. i'm only sixteen. so you might not even want my advice, Cupid! i'd say go for it if you feel ready for it, but you do have a huge life in front of you. just don't rush is my best idea. because my aunt got pregnant within a year of her marriage, and they're pretty...er...let's just say she spends a lot of time with the baby but i barely see her husband. just saying, babe. <3
    -Sam Lupin