I just had a thought..

As you know I have been having a whole lot of ups and downs lately. Everything has been a mess- and my body has been one of the main subjects on my mind. As you also know, it being messed up cause the way it looks is a big issue of mine. I have been thinking a whole lot- specially with my co-worker, the one who had the gastro has been back to work and is losing weight.

It's been a couple months ago he had his surgery and it is not hard to see that he has lost a whole lot of weight. His cloths are loose and his neck fat is only couple layers now compared to the 4 he had before his gastro. Yesterday I overheard him asking one of the guys here to buy him Chinese food for lunch. And I also saw him stuff inn 4 rolls with ham and butter and so on - and some candy, on our common Thursday breakfast at work. Now I know that he isn't able to eat all of it in one sitting since he just had most of his stomach removed- but he bombarding his body with a small but constant flow of the food means that the stomach will expand and he will put the weight on again.

I have asked him if he has had any help (shrink and so on) for the issue- apparently they only get a session before they are approved for the gastro- then you go in a line to get it- in his case it took couple years. Then nothing.. So he hasn't changes his mind- or the way he looks at food. I have heard him say things like "oh I can never give up bread" and ya.. I normally just snort at it.. Thinking I am so much better.

The matter of fact is that I am not. I was thinking - if I were to get a gastro- the only thing that would stop me from stuffing my face would probably be that I couldn't.. And I have been thinking that if I really had a proper mind sett- I wouldn't think about having a gastro if I had the will to stop eating. Correction: from overeating. I am realizing more and more that being skinny- healthy- fit is not something that is given/handed to you. If you want those things you have to work for it. I know this is such a duuh moment- cause I have this way of thought when I think of work- money and so on. So how come haven't I been able to put it in practise when it comes to my eating habits? Lets face it- if being all those things was easy everyone would be thin- healthy- fit.. Wouldn't they?

I am realizing more and more that I am stuck being a talker... I talk the talk- I give opinions- but I never put it into action. They say losing weight is 70% diet- 30% exercise. I keep blaming the lack of exercise for my flabbiness. But I know that it is not it. You are what you eat yes? A calorie is a calorie- if you don't eat too much then you wont gain weight- if you eat less than you burn then you will lose weight. As Mia puts it, it is easy simple math.

Anyway, I'm going to stop ranting :) . Seems like I still have a bunch of soul searching to do. To figure out what I want and actually make a commitment to my self. Not to others - but to my self.. For once..

Wish you all a great weekend.



  1. It's true. It takes work to be thin for most people. Gastro is no easy fix either that everyone thinks it is.

  2. What you say is absolutely true. I often feel the same way. If I REALLY wanted to be skinny I would be. I wouldnt just half ass try everyday. I wouldn't be stuck at the same weight forever like I have been. i say I WANT IT SO BAD. But do I??

    I also think changing your eating habits is not as easy as most think. Food to use is a DRUG. It takes will power and YEARS to completely change how we view food. Sometimes we dont ever change our views....we just gain "self control" or whatever that is, lol.

    Either way i wish you best of luck. That guy is completely ridiculous. You are much better than that :)