*Le Fat*

This is yet another I'M FAT post.. Yes yes.. I know I have many of them.. I just don't know what's wrong with me.. I am fat.. I hate that I am fat.. I hate the way I look. I hate how everything is covered in fat.. I hate the fact that every time I try to go on a diet I end up being huger than I first started. For one I can't keep going on them. The only time I did, it was when I was doing the Atkins, that is probably cause you can eat alot... And ya.. It really made me ill. But I did lose weight on it.. Anyways.. The two shake and a salad diet makes me really moody.. I have moodswings from hell... ( ya I know .. I normally have them.. But these are extra bad ) .. Anyways.. I don't know anymore.. I am so tired of binging and purging.. and binging and purging.. I have been purging so much lately that my whole tummy is fucked... I can't bend a tad after eating, without feeling everything comeup.. Even if it is something as simple as tea... And my weight keeps going up and up and up.. I don't know why though.. Cause it's not much that is staying inn..
I don't care anymore.. I don't care how I go down.. I am sick of making plans and it not working cause I aim for too much.. I just want to get thin.. Really thin.. Can feel my chest bones, have a gap between my thighs kind of skinny.. Oh and I know it sounds "wrong"... I really really really want smaller boobs... and arms.. ah well.. I really really really want smaller everything.

I suck... that's all... I am full of words.. No full of BS mostly.... and that's it... I sack.. I hate it but keep doing it...

No comments:

Post a Comment