I have been thinking,, Maybe a tad too much.. About how I manage to stay off food during my work days- and then overeat at nights.Or how I keep eating more and more during the weekends.I have also been thinking about life in general. About my future.. About how I wish I could be.. We had the talk.. My BF and I.. Talked about our future.. Kids.. I have been telling him that we should wait. And I have told him that I want to get thin before we try it.. Anyways.. Next year.. That's when we will get serious about it. I'm not sure if I am ready for it yet.. I'm not sure if we should.. I mean.. I am a mess.. My family is a mess.. I know that I wont become like my mom.. I know what I don't want. I know what I wish to be.. Before anything I want to be thin.. And January next year isn't leaving me that much time.
We are almost at the end of June.. That leaves me 6 months till end of this year.. 6 months to lose over 120 lbs.. That is insane.. How am I going to do that? Is that even possible? 20 lbs per month??
I am thinking about 500 calories per day during week days and 900-1000 during weekend. I will ofc keep using my modifast things till I am out of them. I will figure out what to do after.. Is it doable? How much will I be able to get rid of? Can I do it? Do I have the will.. Can I manage? I will count everything.. Everything.. I need a new sett of mind.. I need the will power.. Any tips.. Ideas.. Feel free to tell.. I am open to almost everything.