The little mess called my mind!

The last few days have been weird.. First I got off early and got to start my vacation earlier than planned- which is really great cause I was so bored I could die... But ya.. Stuff has happened..
As you might remember, my fiance and I have been have the baby talk over and over again.. On my last post I said that I had made the decision for us.. But then later that day when we were making love he skipped the "rubber" - normally either use the rubber or he hops off right before you know what.. But he didn't either... And I was oh so confused.. The same happened the next day.. And this time I was actually sort of annoyed. I mean.. Why did we have all the talk and drama - if he wasn't going to be careful?
So we had yet another talk.. And I have told him that we really need to made a proper decision. I will be the one carrying the baby and I need to prepare me for it. I can not just do it.. And to be honest, as much as I want a baby.. The idea of getting pregnant is freaking me out. That surely means I am not ready for it.. I wouldn't panic and feel sick to my guts if I was.. Would I?
According to this app I use on my cell- the two sessions without the protection shouldn't make me pregnant. So that is what I am counting on- and we will be back on using protection again- no hopping off.. I mean srsly.. I love this guy with all my heart- but he sure can be confusing. And when we talked about it- he was like "oh I am 50-50 about it.. I would love to have a baby, but I could also wait" ... What the hell is that supposed to mean lol.. Anyways.. I can not deal with this at the moment.. Lets keep them crossed that there is no buns in the oven.. Cause even though I would deal with it.. I am not ready..

Anyway.. The situation in Oslo is also freaking me out.. It is insane.. And it really hit home.. Thanks for your comments - I sure am happy that none of my loved ones are hurt. They seem to have gotten the guy that did this shit.. It's insane.. How can one man do so much damage.. Maria Mena sand this song, it's her version of an old Norwegian song.. It really gives me shivers.. You probably wont understand the text.. But I am sharing it with you just in case..  The song is called "mitt lille land" which means "my little country" ..

Over to the wedding stuff.. We are officially done with all the preps.. I am just waiting to get my things delivered hopefully on Monday. And we gotta deliver the extra decoration stuff on Friday and that is it.. But guys.. It seems like it is going to rain.. I am begging to God that it wont, cause half of reception is planned outside.. So please keep them crossed.. I need no sun.. Just no rain.. Cloudy works for me.. *Sigh*

I have also been avoiding the scale.. The pre wedding crash diet isn't going all too well.. Anyways.. I am off for now.. Trying to spend as much as possible with my husband to be :)


Edit: I forgot to say.. My addiction is up to a whole new level lol.. Got me yet another purse.. I am falling for the bags from Mango ^^ <3

Edit: Has anyone seen the MTV show "I used to be fat"? I love the ones with Gabriella


  1. I am glad things are coming together for your wedding. It is an exciting time for you.

    Also, when it comes to babies, if you are not ready for it, you need to make sure you are being responsible for the contraception. My husband and I use natural family planning (also called the fertility method) and I do all the "work" (checking my fertility signs) and I just let him know whether or not he needs to keep it wrapped. He doesn't care either way (about the contraception or whether or not we have kids right now) so the effort kind of lies on my part, but I don't mind because then I know that if I am the one in control of it then we won't be having kids until I am ready (which I am SO NOT!)
    So just make sure, if you aren't ready for kids, you are doing what you need to be doing to prevent it. Cause in the moment, that's probably not what's on his mind ;)

    As for the show, I love "I used to be fat". I like pretty much all shows about weight issues. But that's probably a top favorite.

    Good luck with the remainder of your wedding preparations. I am so excited for you!

  2. Hi hon, just wanted to tell you what's going on with the stuff in Oslo.

    I live in Denmark, so I'm as updated on it as can get. They got the guy around 30 minuts after he arrived at the island. He's being brought into court today, monday, for open doors. He've even said to his lawyer that what he did was "horrible, but necessary". Hi father said he should have shot himself.
    It's all just so fucked up...

    Good luck with the wedding! Sure hope we might get to see some pictures :)
    And about the baby thing. If you're in doubt, you aren't ready. I'd say you should wait, until you're absolutely sure that it's what you really want. Getting a baby is such a big decission, and you can always get pregnant. Just hold it of 'til you feel like it's right!

    Well, hope you'll be able to sleep, with all these thoughts in you head.
    You just stay strong girl, okay?
    - Bella <3

  3. It's important to put your foot down and make him put a rubber on if you need him to. When I was antibiotics for a sinus infection, my BF used every excuse to try to get out of using a condom (antibiotics mess with birth control pill). But in the end, the dude doesn't get pregnant. We do. So I told him, if wanted any, he wrapped it up. And he did :)

    Glad the wedding prep is almost finished, so you can relax and enjoy your day!

  4. Hope you aren't preggo! And glad your family is OK. It's sad to know there are so many evil people in this world.