Another wedding picture :)

I found this picture of me between the original pictures that the photo dude had ignored.. And I LOVED it hehe.. I don't often love pictures of me.. But this one is not too bad :) Since some of you wanted more pics I decided to post it here for a while :)

Edit: Removed pictures

@ Fed up: I just wanted to say that YOU are the only reason why I could stick to only two slices. The way you deal with food and eating out is my inspiration. So I am sure you will be fine this weekend <3 

Guys are stupid..

ARGH!!!!!

We got our wedding photo's.. The guy that tok the picture is a friend of our friend who does it as a job.. Anywho.. The moron was supposed to fix some of the pictures and send a copy of them to me before sending them to the movie guys so they could use it as the intro on the DVD's and for the cover and so on..

First of all he "forgot" to do the first part so he just sent them to the guys.. Instead of sending them 10 pictures as they had asked he had only sent 3- they needed 3 different.. And OMG!!!!!! OMG!!!! The guy fucking must be an utter idiot.. Cause he has chosen 3 pictures where we look like retards.. /sigh..

He also had "fixed" 30 ish pictures that he sent to me along with the rest of the pictures and OMG again :S The pictures he has fixed are so fucked up..

There is one from me where I am holding my boobs and my BFF is fixing the back of my dress.. Where my boobs look like they are falling out :S He has a frontal picture of that and he fixed that one?? WTF.. What the fuck was he thinking??

Or there is one from the back of my dress at the end of the night... There the tail is on the floor and the picture is focused on the tail.. And the tail is dirty cause it was rainy and we had walked a tad on a sandy road... and he has fixed that as a picture ?? WHY!!!!! Or he has fixed a pictures of the guys that were filming the wedding.. *sigh*

If there is 5 picture from the same moment.. where 4 looks AMAZING and 1 fucked up.. He has fixed the fucked up one.. My husband doesn't have the turkey neck.. And in every fucking picture he has fixed we look like we do...

Anyways I mailed him and tok him I wanted him to fix a selection of pictures that I decide.. That is what he should have done to begin with.. Ugg... Lets see what he says.. I am so fucking annoyed atm... *sigh* I do not understand how he can make a fucking living from doing this shit and be this way?

And I am mailing the guys that made the DVD's so see if we can swap any of the pics- hopefully we can change the pic that is used as the menu background cause it is horrid... Like really really horrid...

Ok.. I just got an email from him saying he will fix the pictures I decide.. I am glad he didn't argue about it.. Cause that would be even more annoying..

Yesterdays intake was OK. I over calculated a whole lot I think. I had two slices of thin crust pizza - for dinner. Which is actually VERY good, cause I normally overeat with pizza. It is one of my binge foods... Anyways.. Just to be sure I over calculated.

Today was weigh- in day. I have lost 0.7 lbs since Tuesday but I am going to weigh in again tomorrow, cause we ate really late last night and my body is a tad off. I am late .. again.. But I have taken like 4 tests and they were all negative so I'm not really worried about being pregnant. I guess my body just needs to adjust after all stress and travels. But I am sort of bloated and ya kind of meh.. If you know what I mean.

:( Gotta get back to work kaos... I will be away from tomorrow - getting back really late Sunday night. Leaving for Germany pretty early tomorrow morning.

Wishing you all a great weekend <3

The wedding, honeymoon and all that jazz....

The wedding went OK .. I say OK because a whole bunch of things went wrong hehehe 

I love my hubby, and I must say I will never ever ever do this again lol... I know many brides say they do.. But I don't.. I am taking it for what it was.. Gonna save the best of it and enjoy the rest of my life with my Mr. Blue Eyes (That's what I often call my hubby ^^)..  I btw love to call him my husband .. 

Lets start with the start.. One of my bridesmaids managed to be like 15 mins late even when she knew we were waiting for her in the limo.. (Don't ask me why.. *sigh*)... So we were late for church... When we got there, one of our friends came out with our flowers and my bouquet's flowers were kind of... Well lets just say they weren't fresh... And looked half brown... *sigh*

The musician .. Well I think he was "in the zone" cause he sort of kept playing :P He played for like 10 minutes after I was at the alter lol.. Kind of funny but ya.. After all that we went to the port to take some pictures.. I hope they got nice, cause we couldn't go where we had planned to go and had to hit another place and we sort of didn't have much room to take different pictures.. The wind was REALLY harsh so it kind of messed my hair lol

We went to the park where we were to meet the others. And it started raining lol... We got to the gazibo just to realise that the people that were taking care of it hadn't done their job. They were supposed to serve people drinks and fruit while they were waiting for us.. But they didn't start serving before we got there.. Anywhoo :P

The dinner was fine.. Good food.. But I had some issues with my dress.. The front kept gliding down (I had no bra since it has inner lining) so after a while I asked got helped by my bridesmaids and got a bra on.. It didn't helped much but ya... hehehe.. Mid dinner the sun came out.. So after the desert we went out and tok some more pictures.. Family pics and so on.. 

Then the DJ came.. And no one would dance lol .. I mean OMG.. This is the problem with nordic people.. They can not let lose unless they are drunk.. And we didn't serve alcohol with dinner.. 

The servers were I dunno... They didn't do much of what we had asked.. The bar that was supposed to be open after the dinner weren't.. If it wasn't for our toastmaster nothing would be in time... He did an amazing job... Anywhoo.. They were supposed to serve drinks all night.. But no.. Almost by end of the night.. Someone told me they were taking money to serve at the bar :S -- They were only to do that for the alcohol not anything else... 

They also were late serving our cake.. And then the most horrid thing happened.. They put a fucking firework thing on top of my beautiful cake when they were taking it out.. I felt my tummy turn when I saw it... Who the fuck does that?? It was not fucking 4th of July.... My BFF saw my face and got rid of it as soon as they got the cake on the table.. But it is on film for the rest of our lives .. lol .. Look... 

And those girls in the picture are the "smart" ones who put the freaking thing on top of my cake... *Sigh*.. Ah well.. Anyways.. Long story short.. I am glad I have an amazing husband hehe and yes I did have a good time   and I am glad we are done hehe :) 

The honeymoon was nice too. I was disappointed over Rome tbh.. The city was dirty, the people weren't what you would call friendly and everything was overpriced.. We saw everything that was to see but most of our time was spent being honeymooners . We were in Rome for 5 nights and then we tried to get to Barcelona.. And yes I say try cause that is what it was.. 

We got to the airport 2 hours early and when we wanted to check in we were told that the flight was overbooked and they couldn't get us on it...... The moron behind the desk couldn't say if we would get on the next flight either cause that too was overbooked.. Apparently the italian airline has a habit of overbooking all it's flights cause as they put it "it is legal" ... I mean WTF.... And then the moron managed to say "oh but we will make sure that you can stay here for the night" WTF.... We didn't spend that much money to stay at the airport.. And yes ladies.. You are right.. I flipped... I really flipped.. I was so pissed I could hit someone... Those tickets weren't exactly cheap either.. And they say " we will make sure that you have a place to stay" .. Fuck off.. lol Right.. After I screamed at a her.. and her manager. and her managers manager.. We got on the plane at the last minute... *Sigh* 

I loved Barcelona... The city was clean.. And people much more friendly. The shopping scene rocked.. And we had loads of fun.. I bought a few things ... This really cute purse I love.. Which isn't something I would normally buy.. (I am more of a black purse kind of girl)... It is from the brand Desigual.. I also bought something else I have been wanting for ages.. It is an IPL thingi.. And it is sort of a bright light which makes the hairs on the body go on this sleep mode- so as long as you keep using it you will be hairfree.. We bought it for almost couple of hundred dollars less than what it costs here. 

Anyways.. We had a whole lot of fun, ate mostly good food.. But no one of us is used to high carb food so we have gained a whole bunch. Well he hasn't gained but he has this pouch lol.. We are going back to the gym tomorrow.. I have already lost 4 lbs of the many gained pounds eating our normal diet since yesterday... Oh and girls I am sorry to say, but I don't think I can post that many pics.. I talked to my hubby and he agreed to the one I posted but he isn't really keen on me posting pics on this blog.. I will have to remove that one after a while too. I will see what to do :) 

Anyways.. I have to be off now.. Tomorrow is a work day- working only 4 days this week since we are heading to Germany on Friday for the weekend. We are visiting my fathers sister and mum there.. I don't really have a relationship with them, but she is getting really old so it might be my last chance to see her. I will make a post tomorrow with the new gym/diet plan.. 

Oh and I want to say welcome to the new followers, if I am not following your blog and you want me to, leave me a comment with your blog link and I will :) 

<3 

Back :)

Just got home from Barcelona.. I will make a proper post soon with details and so on about how the wedding went :) . And I will get updated on your blogs.. I have missed you guys..

A bunch of you asked for some pics from the wedding. I don't have many yet since we haven't received the pictures yet but some friends posted some on Facebook and here is one :)

Edit: Picture removed

wedding today......

OMG girlies..... I am getting married today... soooo excited hehe..

Wish us luck ^^

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AWOL...

Sorry for being so much away.. Wedding being couple days away is taking it's time.. I doubt I will be able to post much until after our honeymoon.. If I don't then I will be back 14th of August..

I <3 you all :)

I am done!

I mean it this time girls. I am done putting my self down- and worry about the dress and so on.. I have to keep reminding my self that I have a good life.. I have my perfect wedding coming up- I have the honeymoon to look forward to.. I really have to stop ruining this for my self.

I have been so down lately.. Worrying.. And it has been effecting my fiance.. We have this connection. I don't know how to explain it.. But it's like.. He normally knows exactly what I feel- think.. And it really effects him.. And I don't want him to feel bad.. I don't want him to be upset. He is so amazing and he doesn't deserve feeling this way.

I am going to make a real effort to stop this. I am going to keep reminding my self about everything good that I have in my life..

Last night I told him "OK, if you want to have a baby now- lets just go for it" and he was like "but you said you wanted to be happy in your body before we do" and without thinking about it I said "but I will never be" !

And OMG.. That is it.. I have NEVER been happy with my body.. I will NEVER be either.. No matter how much I lose- or gain or what ever.. I will never be happy with it.. There will always be something wrong with it.. Don't misunderstand this. I am not going to stop trying to lose the weight or get in shape.. I am just going to stop living and putting my self down cause of it.. But in my head.. I could be a super model- and I would still not be happy about it..

Anyway.. I am a tiny tad down again today.. Yaay for that.. My new goal is to change my focus from all my "flaws" and move it to all the exciting things we have happening the new few weeks/months :)

Oh and I spoke to the Danish store where I ordered the bolero and the purse for the wedding and they are already sending it out today :)

I ordered these:

The material and colour matches both my dress and the corner of my veil. So it will be good. And I will be more comfy. I was worried it would cover too much of the front of my dress but it should be fine.

We are almost ready with everything now. We are meeting the DJ tomorrow night (he had to postpone again).. On Saturday we are going back to Copenhagen again to buy him a shirt, and then the only thing left to buy are the cube candles I want to have on the tables. Then we have a few days off to relax- Next Thursday I have an appointment to get my legs waxed. On Friday I am putting on nails-and having my eyebrows threaded.
My mum and sisters are arriving on Thursday afternoon, and my BFF is arriving Thursday night. And rest of the guests coming from other countries are coming on Friday, spread around the day.
We are going to the location for the dinner and give them the extra decoration and the guest gifts. And Friday night I am going out with the girls and the guys are taking him out. And whoops.. Before we know it, it will be Saturday.. The big day..

The weather reports for next Saturday aren't out yet- but next Thursday and Friday will be nice.. So lets pray to the weather God's for no rain.. I don't need sun- just no rain- or too much wind.. And it will be perfect..

On Saturday I am going to have my hair done at 10:00 am- My mum is going to the saloon with me- and having her hair done as well. Then we will go back to the hotel where my bridesmaids are staying- we are going to get me dressed and fix my make up. The limo will pick us up at 13:30.. And OMG!!! Then it's 30 small minutes left..

Everyone keeps asking us if we are nervous.. And you know what ?? I am not nervous at all.. I have been worried, and stressed.. But no more... I am so done.. There is less than two weeks left and I am just going to have fun with it- and enjoy the time I have with my hubby to be :)

*sigh*

Thanks for the comments girls.. I just ordered the bolero. I rather be warm than uncomfy..
The sleeves are a great but I was just told that it wont look good with how my dress is shaped in the front. So that is out of the picture..

Anyways.. Off for now..

I think I might have a solution to my shoulder wedding dress situation...

I think I will have "sleeves" made for the dress.. I might even do it my self. I got the inspiration from this dress:

I have the material in right colour.. So it really shouldn't be a problem to make it work.. I can not believe I didn't think about it before... What do you think??

The days isn't the same without..

My day isn't really the same without you guys.. I was in pretty much a funk this morning- but then I saw the comment emails on my cellphone- and Ulla dear.. Your comment cheered me up. 

I am so glad that you are feeling better.. I have been really worried about you. Enjoy your time in France- and take good care of you. And don't be too hard on your little sis :) She only ment to do what she thinks is right. Des charges de l'amour <3 (Don't lough at my really poor French, I barely use it anymore)- and ya :P Lets not use meningitis to lose the pounds ^^ 

Yesterday went fine until dinner time. I had some of the food I made for my fiance which I shouldn't have. But even with that I am down 3.5 lbs. Most likely water weight.. I also am done with that time of the month- which means I weigh less. But I am not complaining. 

Last night was really bad. It's been a while since I felt this bad.. I cried for hours.. I have mentioned earlier that I gained loads of weight when I was very young to "protect" my self from my step dad.. That action has had other consequences on my body. I have stretch marks.. Not the ones normal people have on their tummy or ties - I have them on/around my shoulders. My girlfriends/ fiance tell me it doesn't look at horrid as I make it to be but ya.. What I see is what counts, right? 

So I looked into what you can do to cover them- I really hope to avoid wearing a bolero at the wedding since it will be really really warm.. I saw several articles where they recommend using mineral makeup to cover them. After work I went to several places to have a look at it- but none of the people working there knew anything about it.. Which made me feel even more down... I tried on my veil and without any coverage you are able to see the marks.. Look: 

Anyhow.. I had a really bad crash last night over it. I think I will read more about it- and actually one of the powders I tried did work OK.I just have to keep looking I guess.. Does anyone here know anything about these stuff?? So ya... I cried and cried.. And cried.. I have a tad of headache now. And I think it's most likely cause of that.. It makes me wonder though.. Is it "normal" to cry over looks? Apparently most people don't care.. I can't imagine not caring at all.. I mean.. I guess you guys know what I mean.. Don't you? 

Anyways I have thought more about the upcoming weeks. I have a plan for how I am going eat until the wedding. I have thought about the honeymoon. And I think that I will be eating "normal" while we are there. I will eat whatever he is having just less of it. We will be walking around in Rome and Barcelona so we will burn some calories. 

Princess Perfection wrote something in her last post that I have thought about many many times.. Never acted that way though...  She wrote : generally just living and eating as if I am already thin ...

That is what I will be doing while we are away. Think and eat like a skinny person.. 

I have also thought about how things need to be when we get back.. And every time I think about it, my first thought is that I need to get in shape again.. As hard as it is to believe before I was diagnosed with fibromyalgi and was in pain thinking it was my training I was doing really well with kick boxing. Back then I would be training a minimum of 3-4 hours a day. I didn't weigh in anywhere close to what my goal weight is- but I was really fit and pretty tiny.. I remember how much I loved being able to go to big sales and shop and shop cause most things looked good on me.. THAT is where I want to be again. I know I can not go back to kick boxing cause of my arms but I want to get back to that shape. Have you guys seen the super size vs super skinny episode with Amy Jo?? I LOVE her body.. She is just so perfect..

I think I will be following Rusty's visual impact for woman  .. I mean I already got the plan.. But will see.. Anyways I am off for now :) <3 

Edit: 

Rain rain go away...

I just realized something.. I am really pale- and I should work on a tan before the wedding. Problem is that there is no sun, and according to the weather reports there wont be any sun the next few days. I have never been on a "tan bed" ( is that what it is called?? ).. And I am thinking about trying that. Do I have to use sun lotion?? Hmm.. I should google this.. It is weird that I am this pale though.. Being Persian I should have more colour on me. My mum used to tease me and call me for "Milky" since I was so pale compared to the rest of them .. Yes my mum is a bliss.. Erm ya..

I was thinking about getting a short haircut after the wedding, but I think I want to keep it long. It is sort of long now, The front is layered and the longest is almost couple cm under my chin, and the back is layered as well and the longest goes under my bra line. I have wavy hair but I tend to straighten it out cause I think it is what looks best for me. And I have lately been reading more and more about the Brizilian blow dry. And I came across this article on Nicole Richie's blog.. And I think I might just do it. It is kind of costs a whole lot. But then again, you only need to do it once or twice a year. Anyways I am not sure what to do yet. I have very marked cheekbones (even now that I am really fat) and I have been told several times that I can go both ways. I am putting up a few picture so you can see. One with sort of short- one medium ish- and the last one is from January this year so my hair is a longer now. Oh and That really cute guy is my Fiancé.. I know he has a brat like smile there ^^ But I promise you guys.. He is a brat :P hehehe

Edit: Removed pictures

What do you think?? Ah ya the dark hair, that is what my natural colour is..

Erm I ttly lost the track of my thought.. Stupid work, getting in way of my blog time.. lol.. Talking about work it is really dead here.. I think I have had a maximum amount of 7 cases per day.. That is calls and emails all together.. But erm ya.. I am running out of fun stuff to stream..

As you might see I am in way better mood today. I slept ok- and I had fun with hubby to be.. The subject of baby's were brought up again. We have a few packs of condoms left. I told him, we could talk about what to do when we run out of them. And talking about that. My BFF and her husband are working on their second one now. Their son will turn 1 in end of October- so I don't know why they are rushing, she said something about kindergarden placement and so on hehehe. But ya. That sure did bring up the baby talk.

I also told him about the new eating idea I have and he also agrees that it is a great idea- so for once he isn't nagging me at all about food and what not- which is amazing.

Let me tell you this girls.. Life as it is now is great. I spend my work days bloging and streaming and get paid for it- My fiance is soon to be my husband and we are almost done with the wedding details. He isn't bugging me about food- and I have lost couple pounds ^^

This post is being written in many session and I just wanna say that I can not believe how stupid guys are who think that they can tech things better than girls only cause they have a dick.. Come on! *sigh* stupid boys!

Anyways I am gonna publish this post before it gets too random.. Thanks for all your kind comments on yesterdays post <3

Wish you all a great day :)

A way back to me..

Thanks for listening to my insane ranting yesterday. And I want to give a special thank to FedUp. You are right.. I am losing my self in the wedding madness and I am not enjoying the process at all.
I am going to just take it as it comes now. Most of the things are done. The few details that are messed up... Well it is how it is. The day will be great. I seem to have forgotten that the reason for all this madness is my amazing fiance. The kindest man I know of. The one who puts me first. And I seem to keep forgetting this madness isn't just effecting me, but it is effecting him as well. So enough is enough. I know there isn't anything we can not deal with together, and this day shouldn't be an stressful event. People around us are all looking forward to this- so should I.
And dear Mia :) You are right.. The day will be perfect no matter how many details get messed up. I will just ignore the many many details and focus on the main thing.. My very handsome husband to be :)
@Nele, Thanks love. The rings are very pretty- they just messed up the placing of the diamonds. I returned my ring yesterday for them to fix it. I am awaiting a call from them today- So lets keep them crossed.
@Eowin, hope you can use the tips- that site is filled with loads of info. :)

Yesterday I was looking over my blog and thinking about how this all started. About how I keep forgetting that I am much stronger that I seem to be. I have lived through a whole lot of shit- so why I am acting like I can't do things now? Taking the "easy" way has never been an option for me. I have been proud over working hard for the things I have. So why don't I do it with my body? Working hard for having the body I want instead of taking the short cuts looking for fast/easy ways out.. We all know- having a great body takes work. A whole lot of work. I has taken me years to put on all the fat- why do I think I can get it all off in matter of few weeks/months?

And I was thinking. One of the reasons why I have been so tired and cranky and on the edge is most likely the fact that I am not hitting the gym. I haven't been training for errm.. Lets see around 2 months now.. My body is messed up and that is one of the reasons why. That is a fact that I can not ignore.
So today after work- that is what I am going to do. I am going to get my act together and get my lazy bum to the gym. I will work around the things we need to do. Even 30 mins will be way better than nothing.

Another thing that really got to me is something on read on FedUp's last post. She said this: " I'm going on Vacation next month and I DO NOT want to come home 5 lbs heavier or worse and have to deal with damage control mode.  I HATE damage control mode.  I prefer maintenance mode thank you very much."
And OMG .. She is so right.. I on the other hand always think "oh I am going on vacation- I can eat what ever I want- and if I gain, then I gain" .. This my butterflies is one of the reasons why there is around 100 lbs difference between her and I.. She took her time- and lost the weight. She keeps it under control. Doesn't matter if she is on vacation- or if it is some sort of holidays.

So changes that I will be making from today are :

• I will go to the gym or exercise even if it is for only 30 mins.
• I will restrict my calorie intake- 10 calories per lbs of my target weight = 1200 calories. ( I am using the numbers from Rusty's blog- fitnessblackbook.com )
• I will save calories during the week for the weekends or dinners out.
• I will keep it low carb- but eating more of the good carbs like fruit
• I aim to not gain any weight on vacations/holidays.

And this is how it is for now. I think it sounds like a good solid plan. Then I don't get the meat sickness. I wont fill overly fed. I will be able to eat fruit which doesn't mess up my tummy. And then it can take as long as it needs to take. This way I can stick to it being on our honeymoon.
I have 112 lbs to go for my GW- I aim to lose couple of pounds per week- which isn't unrealistic at all. And this means I should be able to get the weight off in a year. And lets face it. A year might seem really long but it really isn't. Time flies by.

Anyways I am going to end this wall of text. Laters <3

The mother of all binges...

That is what I had on Friday,,, Saturday... Sunday..
What happened was that we got a msg saying that our wedding bands were ready to be picked up.. So we went there after work.. And guess what.. The diamonds are placed wrongly on my ring.. And the fucking ring looks like a fucking button.. Look for your self..

I mean come on.. How can you mix up " Place the diamonds next to each other" ... WTF.. We are going back today after work and the sales girl that took our order is supposed to be working today.. And mark my words.. God help her if she doesn't fix it by the time of the wedding.. I will hurt her.. And I am not joking.. Ugg. That rage moment.. Sent me right off to a binge session.. And trust me this was the mother of all binges..  I had a bunch of spring rolls. I don't know how many.. Then I had a some chilli cheese with mayo.. A big king XXL with fries.. And apple juice.. And no we aren't done yet.. After a nice purge we had more space.. I had a pack of chocolate covered biscuits followed by a huge mug of lime mousse. After when I got home I munched on a bowl of roasted and salted seeds and had some Cola zero with it..

On Saturday- we went over to Copenhagen just to find out that the wedding store where I have bought most of my things closes really early on Saturdays.. So now we have to go there again.. We still need to get a bunch of stuff there- and I am not sure when we have the time to go back again.. Which sent me into yet another binge session.. Let see.. I had a sandwich with salad and roast beef. Then some sandwiches with butter and honey.. Followed by another mug of the lime mousse. Another sandwich with chicken bacon and friend potatoes.. Sugary iced tea.. erm what else.. Two huge plates of rice and indian tika. Erm lets see what else.. I had some watermelon lol

Sunday wasn't as bad.. I think I just crashed.. My body just shut down .. We had a meeting with the place we are having the dinner at.. And some more details are fucked there.. Which we can't really do anything about.. I am not going into details there since I am too emotional to write about it at work.. After we had a BBQ at his mum.. Which could have been better.. I am too tired to even care about that weird outing lol.. Ugg..

I have gained 3 lbs after this weekend. And you know what.. I can not deal with it anymore.. I just want to fix my ring- and after that. It will be the way it will be. I can not deal with this anymore.. The joy of the day is almost gone with all this stress. I can not remember the last time I have cried this much. This emotional roller coaster is killing me.. I barely sleep.. I am overly tired.. And it has been ages since I had this sort of binge/purge session.. I feel sick to my guts.. And I am pretty sure it is not the way it is supposed to be.. I guess I am too fucked up of a detailed obsessed maniac..

So thanks for all your kind comments- but atm I am not the one you should be proud of.


@ Eowin
The low carb diet is pretty easy. You basicly eat an amount of 20 grams carbs a day. To figure out how much carb something has you take off the amount of fibre from the carbs. So if something has 10 carbs per 100 grams and 3 of those are fibre you count it as 7 grams of carb per 100 grams.
You can eat almost as much as you want of clean meat products since they have no carbs. So your main foods will be red/white lean meat- fish- bacon- egg based food. You can also have a whole bunch of green salad since it barely has any carbs. Have a look at www.atkins.com - Phase one is the one you will be wanting to look closer into for now- and if you do not wish to gain all the weight right back you should look into the 4 phases.
With a low carb diet- you will lose weight really fast- but you will gain it right back if you don't follow the phases adding a little carb at the time. You will also probably feel sick of all the meat and fatty food. Going #2's will also be a gambling game- cause after a couple days on this it gets harder to "go" .
I would not recommend unless you do the phases properly. I will not recommend it either- if you are more on to the veggie side- cause then there isn't much to eat.
I think I will do a proper calorie restricted- gym plan when we get back from our honeymoon. I don't think low carb is something I could keep on going on all the time.

Anyways.. I am off for now..

Stay tuned for more weird dreams..

OMG.. I thought I was tired yesterday, but today is even worse.. I am at work and can barely keep my eyes open. Last night I had yet another weird dream.. This time I was at the wedding-- I fell.. On my bum.. And my dress went up and I was wearing really weird clown looking socks.. :S And for some reason people were sitting on the floor at the church.. So weird.. And then I woke up around 4 in the morning and by the time I fell back to sleep my alarm went off and we had to get up.. *sigh*.. I go to bed tired, and wake up even more tired..

Mmm.. Went out and got some coffee.. We are finally moving to the new office building. Should be in place at the new office on Friday. Which means we will be far away this amazing coffee shop.. Oh and if I haven't mentioned it before.. I <3 coffee.. I have tried to cut it down and replace it with green tea but nothing can replace a properly made cup of coffee .. Mmmm...
Anyways, I am looking forward to the move. This place doesn't have a properly working AC and there are always some sort of road construction happening outside so we can't leave the windows open. I end up having a headache almost every day by the end of the day. The new office will be messy until end of August since our first floor isn't finished yet. But most people will be on their vacations then so I don't mind. I have last week of July and the two first weeks of August off cause of the wedding. So I don't really mind.

Over to something else, I just got to know that my fathers mum is visiting my aunt in Germany- she is really old and she wants to meet us before she leaves. I don't really have a relationship with my fathers family. My dad died before I was born, and when my mum remarried my ass of a step dad with lost all contact with them. I met her in Germany for around 6 years ago for the first time in 17 years. And that has been it since then. She is very old.. I think she is around 85 now- and she wants to see me and my by then husband. So we are trying to figure out how we can manage that.

We thought about going there before the wedding, but the tickets cost way too much for a 2-3 days trip. And I am not sure if I want to take off in the week before the wedding. I would be too stressed about it. So we are going to try and see if we can take a day off after our honeymoon and go over there for a weekend. The tickets will cost us half of what they do now- and by then we would be able to give her some pictures from the wedding too. Which I think she would love.

But this is yet another thing to add to my very very very long to do list. But then again, I am not sure if I will ever be able to meet her again so I guess it is worth it.


@ AJ : Thanks ^^ I am so happy that he didn't argue about the text again.
@ Eowin: I'm not sure how much picture I would be able to put out. I sort of would have to ask my by then hubby if it is ok with him :) But If he doesn't mind I will probably post something :)
oh and if you had the fish dream I did, you'd probably stay off fish for a while lol ^^

Off for now :)

I think I'm going kookoo.. kookoo... kookoo..

Right.. So I think I am really going kookoo.. lol..
I mentioned in one of my posts that I was really sick of meat in general didn't I... I think the low carb diet is taking it to a whole new level.. Last night I dreamt I was being chased by a bunch of fish... and they were trying to eat me... When I finally got away from them.. It was a road with pork/lamb chops on the side.. And they were trying to flat me out lol ... I mean COME ON!!! This can not be normal lol..
Anyways. I am going to keep on the low carb this month. Will see what to do after. I am really fed up with meat in general, and I think the dream is trying to tell me something.. lol..
Anyhow.. I have reached a whole new level of tired now.. The weekend wasn't long enough and I could sleep for days..

Good news.. The priest has approved our vows.. I was so emotional writing them down yesterday.. I really need to find me a proper water proof mascara hehe.. Gaaah... I'm such a mess. I am so tired, so emotional, so stressed..

Note to my self: Google low carb veggie recipes...


@AJ : Thanks hon. And right back at you :)
@[ChildofApathy] : Oh I know the feeling of always being on move.. One of the reasons why I don't want to move again.. but ya.. Where will you be moving after uni?? :) - And ya we sort of have already demoted him.. He is the best man in name- but he isn't going to be a part of anything but to stand up there at the isle along with my fiance and the other guy who is actually doing all the work.. We don't have the time/energy to bother with him... The question is if we will ever talk to him again after this.. Doesn't feel like he deserves it..

Off to read some blogs and google now :)

Oh and as if I wasn't emo enough.. This song just came on...

This shit is working..

I have been on the low carb diet since Friday and I have lost 6.6 lbs!!!!

I didn't have any great numbers this morning, but I didn't get on the scale until after my shower and my hair was wet and so on. So I am not too worried about that. I haven't really been hungry. Well I was some yesterday, but that was probably cause we were out most of the day and I didn't get to eat properly. So this is great.. I am glad I am not counting calories, cause the food I have been eating contains load and loads of it.. Eggs, bacon, ham, cheese, red meat and the list goes on and on. Anyways I don't care.. I am losing weight. And I feel great about it. 

It is now officially 4 weeks to the wedding.. I must admit my tummy is already filled with butterflies.. And I am really looking forward to everything.. There are still a bunch of details we need to take care of. But ya :) I am making a list hehe

I am so disappointed over my fiance's best man. And I am so glad that he has two of them cause the "main" one has not done shit. He hasn't once called to hear if we needed any help or offered a thought. I asked him if he was going to give a toast, since I have to tell the toast master who is giving the toasts. And guess what he said.. 

He said " No I wasn't thinking about saying anything".. And trust me.. I have told him that is sort of a part of his "job" being a bestman... *sigh*.. I don't even know why we are having him there.. He doesn't act like he cares or gives a shit..  I hate it when people take things for granted.. I mean.. He took his time to decide if he wanted to be my fiance's bestman. And then he goes and acts like he doesn't give a f... 

My maid of honor and my bridesmaid.. One living in Oslo- the other living in London.. Have been more involved in the whole thing.. And have actually been a great help planning. This guy lives 5 mins walking distance from us.. And he hasn't bothered to call and ask to see if there is anything he can do.. 

I am not counting on other to do what we can do ourselves but come on.. 

Anyways.. I really do wonder if we will even bother to talk to this guy ever again after the wedding. You get what you give ya?? And you treat people the way you want to be treated back.. 

We have had him over for dinner so many times and not once he has invited us over.. Oh ya he did once, when he had his bday.. And we had to bring the cake lol.. 

Anyways fuck it.. We can live without a person like that.. 

Ugg.. I really miss my friends in Oslo.. What to do?? I am so confused.. Should we move back?? Start over?? Atleast we know we would have people who would be there for us no matter what... 

I don't know what to do anymore.. :( 

Edit:
I feel so down.. I have moved a whole lot in my life.. And now I don't feel like I belong. I don't feel like I can stay here.. Moving back to Oslo seems like to commit suicide.. Our finances would fall a part, and we would have to start on nothing.. Rent a flat instead of buying a house. Get new jobs.. And then it is no way to say if they will be jobs we would even enjoy.. For the first time in my life I have a good job that I like.. I have no financial problems.. But I have no friends.. I feel lonely.. We went and saw "something borrowed" this weekend. And there was a scene where the girls are having a slumber party and it really brought me to tears.. I miss my bff so much.. So much :( 

Stress!!!

We had our official meeting with the priest that is going to get us hooked yesterday.. And OMG!!! He was one special nut case.. I don't know if it is because I was raised in the protestant church and he was from the old Swedish church or what ever.. But he was a nutcase... First of all.. He said " the bride and the groom walk down the isle together" WOOT??? No they don't??? And then when I told him I wanted the "you may kiss your bride" after we are done.. He said " no that is an american movie tradition" and then he managed to keep going on and on about what a sexist act it would be to tell a man he is "allowed" to kiss his wife as if he owned her and blabla.. Oh and he wanted people to sing all the time.. Before and after every single act he wanted a song!! We don't want any dude... *sigh*

Mark my words.. God help him if he messes up my wedding!!! It will be war lol .. I am going to send him an email with details on how we want it to be.. And he better adjust.. I am planning to do this properly and I don't want some guy with weird ideas about things to ruin it.. 

What else.. Lets see.. I have trouble with blogger.. Seem like it goes mental and can't save my post.. So I have to copy it.. And clear cache and everything.. Relog.. And then paste it and try to publish it.. Ah well.. I just got a note that my new scale was delivered.. I am really looking forward and dreading  to see the numbers on it..

It was btw really funny to see that I am not the only geek over here hehe. I haven't been gaming since october/nov last year but ya.. That is where I met my fiance. :)

@Eowin: Haha ^^ Hello fellow geek ^^ Your comment made me go to geek mode for a while ^^ No I haven't really gamed anything but WoW.. :) And yes distance relationships suck.. Gl on having the bf over hon.

@Seeking Something Else: Ya.. That was not my problem.. I had several high end chars and were raiding on all of them lol.. For a while I had no life but gaming.. hehe I did get into it by an ex but I kept going when it was over with him, cause well.. It is one great braindead activity.. And an amazing scape from the real life. 

@Fed Up: Hehe, I never said I wasn't ever going to stop couting.. I said I wanted too.. Tbh I think I am too addicted to it not to. Main focus atm is portion control but I always have the numbers on my mind .. But it was an iphone app, and I am an android user.. So we will see hehe

Oh and in Norway they use the term "kjæreste" which means "my dearest" .. I dunno why I keep calling him my bf instead my fiance.. I guess I have already had a fiance and he wasn't special to me.. So I keep using the term "kjæreste" aka Bf, cause I think he will always be just that, if you get what I mean. No matter how long we are together, or how old we are.. I want to him to always know that he is my dearest.  And it is becomming a habit to call him that too. I think I will be using "hubby" when we are married, cause that would mean something different to me hehe

@Absolute Darling : Good to know that I am not the only one.. He doesn't deserve my thoughts though.. Glad to hear that you have the love of your life now :)

@Nele : OMG lets not go into the guild talk lol.. I am way too geek to go into details of that ^^ And ya it is actually normal with couples ingame :) and it can be fun until they get into a fight over an item lol.. And yes I have actually seen that happen.. and ya that song is pretty nice :) Can be really catchy hehe

@Princess Perfection: It's an addiction love.. On the fun note.. I used to have a shoe collection ingame too lol.. And thanks hon. I am very happy with him.. He is more than what I could have wished for..

Thanks for all your support girls.. Means the world too me..

This is what I am thinking about doing..

Thanks for all your wonderful comments and ideas girls. I do agree with you about having more realistic plans and idea about how much I can lose. And I shouldn't put my self up to fail.
@Kes: I am not sure if I want to involve a doctor yet. I have a hard time finding one I can trust with my Fibromylgi and until I haven't find one I can talk to about that, I don't want to talk to them about anything else either. It is maybe silly, but their idiot comments makes me feel horrid and that normally ends up in a b/p session.. But I am not going to even think about getting pregnant until I feel like I can deal with it. I am glad to say that we don't have money worries, since both me and my BF are in very well paid positions but everything else is just a tad too much to think about atm. Thanks for all your wise words <3
@FedUp: Ya I will have a chat with him.. I do have the baby cravings from time to time, but we are not ready for it. Our relationship is pretty new, and I want us to have the "lover" time before we even think about becoming  parents. So I will have yet another talk with him when the time is right. I just have to figure out when..
@Princess Perfection: I think I could aim for more to start with since I have so much to lose.. To be patient is not something I have ever been good at.. Thanks for all your support hon <3
@AJ: Thanks hon, I will be careful. And I already have the moodswings lol so ya :)
@Aye Ell: I tried Atkins once and had amazing results on it. But it made me really sick.. I was using many of the Atkins products so they could be the reason for why I was feeling ill all the time. But I am thinking about going back on a low carb diet after out honeymoon. It sure was the only diet I lost a bunch of weight on and it sure is worth it.
@ Seeking Something Else: I read that post, She does have a valid point there. And it is similar to what Rusty's plan is too. I want to do something like that when I have shed off some weight. I just feel like I need to lose some first. And then go from there :)
@ChildOfApathy: Thanks hon <3
@Ulla: You are just too kind :) I wish I had the faith hehe.. I am going to try something like that for now.. I will put more details about it <3
@Mia: Good to hear that it worked now :) Noen måtte flytte . og siden jeg fikk en bra jobb tilbud her ble det til at jeg tok sjansen.. Men takk :) Det var ikke lett å reise fra mine venner.. men men. Er ikke lange veien til Norge hehe

Now for the details around it. I have a bunch of Modifast products and I am planning to use them up before I hit a low carb plan. And they are tasty and easy to keep control with . What I want to do is to keep using them until the wedding. The plan is to have 4 packs a day (880 cals/ each pack has 220 cals)- I want to do it like this:
Mondays and Thursdays: 2 packs
Tuesdays and Fridays: 3 packs
Wednesdays and Saturdays: 4 packs
Sundays Normal food with calorie restriction- Max of 1300 (That would be my GW BMR)
I am going to eat veg and fruit in addition to modifast. More veg than fruit to keep the calories low and to keep the hunger away. I will however put a max level of 1300 on all days just to be on the safe side.
After the wedding and honeymoon (Or after I run out of the modifast stuff) I will either do the Low carb- or the BMR plan. I am not sure which yet. I have to think about it. I have never been a big meat eater and I have been sort of sick of it lately, which makes the low carb plan sort of impossible to keep up. So I have to think about it.

I am actually playing with the idea of going Flexitarian for a while so I might just do that. I got this book called the flexitarian diet which gives you a full eating plan all counted and ready to make. It's weekly based and you can swap the meals from what you like the most. If you eat the 3 main meals you end up with 1200 cals per day. You can add a snack or two if you wish, each snack has around 300 cals. So that is also an option. It also contains weekly shopping lists which makes it even easier. So that is something I am really looking into. And since I am feeling pretty sick of meat lately, it might be the way to go.

My main problem at the moment is during the off days. Having the BF around and slacking at home = overeating.. That is why I feel like I have to have those days planned properly and have a day with "normal" food so I have something to look forward to.

So this will be a short term plan until I figure out what to do when we get back, it isn't really that extreme is it? I guess I sort of panicked when he laid it down like that..  But I think he will understand if I talk to him about it. He is really a great guy who listens. Most of the time hehe..

Lets see what else.. Ah ya. We have decided what we are going to serve at the wedding. Starters will be Carpaccio with some salad and bread. Main is going to be roasted duck breast with veg and roasted potatoes with the most amazing ginger gravy. I have never ever ever tasted a gravy that was soo yum.. Ever.. Dessert will be this yummy lime/lemon mousse with berries..

Anyways, I am going to end this wall of text for now. I might edit it more later.. Seems to be one of those "dead" days at work hehe.. Wish you all a great day. <3 And again. Thanks for all your support.

Wedding update!

We have been taking care of so many wedding details the last few days.. And I must admit.. I have been feeling kind of emo hehe.. I cry over everything.. Good kind of tears but ya :) I guess I am too much of a girly girl hehe.

So here is some of the stuff we are going to have..

For the wedding march we will have Parchelbel's Canon in D

Walking out is done along with "over the rainbow" ( not the best clip, but you'll get the idea )

This is the church where we are having the cermon 

Dinner is at this great little white restaurant in a middle of this amazing park.. By a pond. They have this little gazibo, where we will have drinks, and then walk down the flower isle to the restaurant where we will have dinner and cake. Here is a picture of the gazibo, and the restaurant:

Here is how the cake will look <3, It is a chocolate, tiramisu mouse flavoured layered cake... Mmmmm... :

And my bouqout... I love it...

Anywho.. I was about to burst hehehe.. I can't wait ^^

Too tired to function..

I'm soooo tired today. My BF and I have been sick since the last day in London. He has been running a fever and I have had a really upset tummy. And its been raining for days.. The weather is soo humid and it is doing "wonders" for my hair.. I have been drying and using the flat iron on it but it curls up after like 10 mins.. I'm not joking.. There are curls standing out from every corner of my head :S And on top of that.. The humid weather is killing my joints.. The pain is horrid.. My whole body is in such an unbalanced state.. But I am back to work.. I couldn't take any more days off. I haven't been to work for days and it doesn't look so good since I'm still on my  trial contract. 

Anywho... I have been rereading the "you can be thin" book and I have made up couple pages with the main pointers of it. I understand its view and I agree on almost everything. There is one thing that I don't understand and its kind of making me panic.. No calorie counting?? I mean I know if you are eating what is right for your body you will have a healthy body and you will lose weight and so on. But no counting at all?? The idea is kind of freaking me out and I hate the idea of not knowing how much I am getting in me. It is probably wrong way of thinking, and I know I should be able to stop when I have had enough, but not knowing the numbers is really :S I have used this  calculator and this BMR calculator. For my current weight the calories needed for maintenance is 2111 and for fatloss: 1866. For my GW it is 1439 for maintenance, 1151 for fat loss and 880 for extreme fat loss. The BMR of my current weight is 1834 and my GW BMR is 1296. So I think a calorie intake goal of 1200 is a sensible goal specially since nuts and seed can have high calories. 

I know I should maybe nvm the counting and just do what she does, but knowing the calories gives me this sort of control, and I am a control freak. The numbers also motivate me and make it easier for me to stop when I have had my calories. With the "whole" foods it will be easier to keep the numbers in control. 

Anyways.. Over to something different, I think I have finally found the saloon for my wedding updo and makeup. I just got off the phone with them and they should call me back soon with details about when we can have the trial. I am still not sure about how I want it, but I think I want some hair to somehow frame my face and a side split (if that even makes sense)... Something like this would work: 

I was thinking about getting more extentions inn and make it long and go with it down, but I get sooo warm wearing my dress now only for few mins, that I can not imagine how it would feel like wearing the hair down AND have the dress in the middle of summer hehe. So I think updo is the way to go. I still am not sure if I will use the veil. I guess it depends on the hair. 

Change of subject again. I need to figure out what to do about my lunch meals. I am thinking about having a banana and 10 almonds. I hate having to take food in lunch box with me and I really can't be bothered trying to figure out the calorie content of premade salads and so on. It doesn't taste good and it doesn't cost too much compared for how much you could make your self making the salad at home.

I think I am just going to publish this post. I have been trying to write it since 9 this morning and its 4PM now :P Oh and I think I have found a new baker for the wedding! 

Laters <3