According to the Wiifit scale/bodyscan thingi - I weigh 3.3 lbs less today than I did yesterday when I did a body scan (and they were around the same time aka around 9PM our local time) ! I really hope it's true..


Oh and I forgot.. Happy midsummer ^^ We went and watched the dance and stuff today.. It is a real "Swed" thing to do.. It was actually kind of fun because in the middle of the show my son started kicking and  waving his arms and legs as if he was dancing hehe - and after a couple of minutes he started "singing" along going "blallalalagahgahga" really loud too lol .. He sure got the attention of the dancers, and they couldn't stop giggeling at him ^^

Here is a tad of info about the Swedish Midsummer: (Copied from wikipedia)

weden[edit]

Midsummer celebration, Årsnäs, Sweden

Midsummer Dance by Anders Zorn, 1897

In modern Sweden, Midsummer's Eve and Midsummer's Day (Midsommarafton and Midsommardagen) were formerly celebrated on 23 June and 24 June, but since 1953 the celebration has been moved to the Friday and Saturday between 19 June and 26 June with the main celebrations taking place on Friday. It is one of the most important holidays of the year in Sweden, and probably the most uniquely Swedish in the way it is celebrated. When Sweden got its National day (6 June), discussions were held about making Midsummer the Swedish national day because of the strong civil celebration on this day.

Raising and dancing around a maypole (majstång or midsommarstång) is an activity that attracts families and many others. Before the maypole is raised, greens and flowers are collected and used to cover the entire pole. People dancing around the pole listen to traditional music and sing songs such as Små grodornaassociated with the holiday. Some wear traditional folk costumes or crowns made of wild springs and wildflowers on their heads. The year's first potatoes, soused herring and pickled herring, chives, sour cream, beer, snaps and the first strawberries of the season are on the menu. Drinking songs (snapsvisor) are also important at this feast, and many drink heavily.

Because Midsummer was thought to be one of the times of the year when magic was strongest, it was considered a good night to perform rituals to look into the future. Traditionally, young people pick bouquets of seven or nine different flowers and put them under their pillow in the hope of dreaming about their future spouse. In the past it was believed that herbs picked at Midsummer were highly potent, and water from springs could bring good health. Greenery placed over houses and barns were supposed to bring good fortune and health to people and livestock; this old tradition of decorating with greens continues, even though most don't take it seriously. To decorate with greens was called att maja (to may) and may be the origin of the word majstång, maja coming originally from the month May. Other researchers say the term came from German merchants who raised the maypole in June because the Swedish climate made it impossible to find the necessary greens and flowers in May, and continued to call it a maypole. Today, however, it is most commonly called a "midsommarstång" (literally midsummer pole).

In earlier times, small spires wrapped in greens were erected; this probably predates the maypole tradition, which is believed by many to have come from the continent in the Middle Ages. Others argue that some form of Midsummer pole occurred in Sweden during the pre-Christian times, and was a phallic fertility symbol, meant to impregnate the earth, but as there were no records from those times it cannot be proven, and this idea might just be a modern interpretation of the pole's form. The earliest historical mention of the maypole in Sweden is from the Middle Ages. Midsummer was, however, linked to an ancient fertility festival which was adapted into St. John's Day by the church, even though it retained many pagan traditions, as the Swedes were slow to give up the old heathen customs. The connection to fertility is naturally linked to the time of year. Many young people became passionate at Midsummer, and this was accepted, probably because it resulted in more childbirths in March which was a good time for children to be born.

In Denmark and Norway midsummer is referred to as the eve of Skt. Hans but it's only in Sweden that it has kept its original name.

In Sweden and parts of Finland, the tradition of bonfires is not part of Midsummer but rather of the "Valborg's" evening festivities, when winter leaves are burned for summer.

Back!

We had a nice trip - the weather Gods wear kind to us and we only had half a day with not so nice weather. I got on the scale and I'm up 3 lbs.. And you know what... I take it... I haven't been feeling good (had no BM), and I think I have either had a really bad allergic reaction to something or I am getting a cold cause my throat has been sore and a tad swollen since Friday.. 

But today is a new day.. I am going to drink LOADS of water and tea to just get my body moving and get rid of what ever I can get rid of.. 

Today I am also joining forces with Miranda and going on a Protein and veggie diet.. She is going to do the 30 day shred - but with the weather finally being OK I want to get some running in.. So I think I will do a mix of the Shred, running, hitting the gym, and wiifit on the days I don't really have energy to do something more. We (the baby and I) are also going to take an advantage of the nice weather and go on long strolls. 

So I am going to remember that I eat to live not live to eat... 

And to keep my body moving... 

And stop being an utter idiot... 

Now lets have a great new start to this week and stick to it! 

<3 

Weigh in!

At first when I got on the scale this morning I was ttly :S since my weight was the same as yesterday.. But then I checked my weight app on the phone and I have actually lost couple of pounds since my official first weigh-in last Sunday.

So I wont be upset, my new mantra is that every single pound counts... I still haven't had the chance to take my measurements but I am going to do that right after this post since the little guy is finally asleep.

Random fact.. He used to sleep to Madonna - but ever since his daddy puts him to sleep at nights, he only goes to sleep to this song... I guess my little boy has the same moody sense of music as I do ^^

So.. I guess I have to say happy Monday (even though we all know I hate Mondays!) - and keep them crossed for the new eating plan I have made..



Edit!!!
So I looked at the time and realized I hadn't been stepping on the scale at the same time I had last week - so I went on it again and my actual weight now is much lower than I thought!!! So the official loss of this week is 3 pounds and not two :) Yaay!

Scale...

Got on the scale today.. I have lost around 7lbs since I found out that I was pregnant - with my total this is my lowest weight I have been at since the wedding..

I know this is probably really wrong, but I am kind of happy about it.. I mean - I was already really overweight before I got pregnant and some of you might remember that I was sort of panicked over the fact that I will gain a bunch.. When I was at my first baby check-in the nurse or whatever she is, said I should aim to not gain more than 15 lbs (which is actually what I was aiming for before the talk).. So I guess all things considered this is good - isn't it?

Anywho - getting really sleepy here (as if I am not sleeping enough as it is lol)

Wishing you all a great weekend :)


<3

Edit to say that I'm not losing weight cause I'm trying to... It's a combination of being sick and not binging... Wanted to clear that before more comments :)

Happy Valentines!

Valentines is here.. Did I reach my goal?: No, the dmg from the weekends binge were too high for me to reach it - Am I going to let the last few days stop me and ruin my coming progress?: Hell NO! - What am I going to do?: I am going to give my self the rest of this week to reach this goal! - Will I reach it? Hell YA! 

Thanks for your support ladies.. Hubby and I have had a long talk - and he says he knew he said something really stupid the minute he said what he did - and that the only reason why he brought candy up is cause it was Saturday, and it's a nordic thing to have the Saturday candy.. He is really sorry - and he has been trying his best to "fix" what he did since then.. So we are ok. :) 

I am going back on really getting my act together starting tomorrow. I am going to reach my valentine goal by the end of this week - and I will keep working on my Chamonix goal.. Also as an extra motivation I am adding an extra 5 lbs on the Chamonix goal.. I wanted to get rid of 20 lbs by then - it is now 25lbs - and hopefully I can make it 30.. 

Going to get a tad updated on your blogs.. Have a very happy valentines ladies.. And oh ^^ I saw this picture on Facebook I HAD to share with you hehe 

<3 

Wooo!!!!!

The scale is moving again!!! 1.3 kg/ 2.8 lbs overnight! Woooohooo!!! Can't really complain now can I?? :D This means I have 0.7/ 1.5 lbs left to actually be able to reach my valentine goal! 3 days.. 1.5 lbs! Doable?? HELL YEAH!

Ladies... I must say.. I finally feel like I can do it.. And I really think I can.. As far as the gameplan goes - It might be too extreme - so I might add some fruit or more veg to it.. I think I should really watch it so I don't go into a binge mode..

Over to the phone update.. OMG! I LOVE IT!!!!! It is so much faster than my old phone and I have found some fun apps already.. I am so loving this new phone..

As you might have noticed - I am in a much better mood today. And it is not because I actually slept to like around 12 today and feel rested.. Last night I had a proper talk with hubby about the whole baby thing. I made it very clear that I really do want one with him, but that I am not mentally ready for it. I am not ready to give up our life as a couple.. And how our sex life (or the lack of it due to all the stress we have had) was effecting me.. I also had a good cry and I felt that I finally could relax about the whole thing.
And he really understood. He understands that it's not me not wanting it - just not now.. For all I know - maybe I will feel more ready for it later this year.. I just don't want to always be on the edge and feeling guilty about it..

I feel so much more relaxed about everything now. I feel really positiv about things and I think not having the stress, the guilt and the depression will make things much easier.

I wish you girls a great weekend <3



Edit:
And there .. I knew this was too good to be true.. He has in a minute managed to make me feel like a huge worthless shit piece of fat fuck... I don't care that he doesn't mean the things he says in "that" way.. He fucking should watch the crap coming out of his mouth.. I cried all the way home in the car - and now I just feel numb.. I fucking hate him for making me feel like this when I finally felt a tiny little tad better.. FFS....

Update!

So I got on the scale and I was pretty happy.. Last weeks total loss is now 4.2 lbs and I can not really say I am unhappy about it ^^

I just want to make something clear about my tracking and eats. Since I don't track all the macro nutrients of everything I eat - the numbers on the nutrient report on my last post aren't accurate. I track calories, carbs, fats, saturated fat, protein, and fibre.

I am not worried about my vitamin and mineral intake since I do eat enough greens and I do take the supplements. I take a multi- vitamin, mineral supplement, made for woman which means it also includes iron and folic acid. An additional D supplement cause of my fibromyalgia and a calcium, magnesium combo. I also take extra Iron during that time of the month if my bleeding is strong.

On top of that - I also get my values checked once a year to be sure. I used to have low D, iron and B levels, few years back, so I am extra careful with how and what I eat.

The reason why I just posted the whole nutrition report is cause I really couldn't bother with too much cut and pasting to only put up the stuff I track :) - I might just post the weekly nets from next week hehehe :)

Anywho...

New week, another Monday, and another week of "what to eat" questions ahead. ^^ I have to shorten down my blog time during work cause I have moved my desk and now my hunky teamleader sits right behind me and looks directly at my screen.

I will catch up on the blogs later today..

Loads of love <3

Frustrated..

There is something very wrong with blogger.. I seem not not be able to follow people. If I go to their blogs, it says I am following, but I don't see them on my dashboard. And it seems like sort of half of the blogs I was following are gone....

Anyone has an idea how to solve this? I don't seem to figure it out.. *sigh*


I saw this about this challenge on Miranda's blg, and I have signed up for it - I hope it is not too late to join.. You can find the info about it here ... This is one of the blogs where I don't seem to be able to get updates on even though I am following it... *sigh*

Anyways - I want to lose 20 lbs by Christmas. And as you girls know I have been on my new plan for a couple of days. 5 lbs down- 15 to go... :)

I must say- I am pretty proud of my self so far.. I have been on my period during these days - and I have been very very stressed and tired, which normally would end in binges. But I have been sticking very well to 2 shakes and a "salad" - aka mostly veggies and some lean protein in a small portion for dinner.. I actually haven't managed to finish my portions even.. And I have always managed to sort of work around my diet and find excuses and cheats- and I haven't even had to. The big test will be tomorrow though.. I normally fuck up my plans during the weekend. So this will be the big challenge.

But I am actually feeling pretty good about it - its like - so empowering to just ignore food, if you know what I mean. I could see my self "eat" like this for weeks, even months.. That has never happened before.. I mean I might try to swap the salad for soup- but you guys get the idea.. Also.. I am not sure if it is the diet pills, or the fact that I am drinking something aka tea/water/coffee all the time .. But I don't feel that hungry even.. Which is a bliss..

Renovation update.. We should officially be done the 21st of December lol..
They are done with the kitchen and bathroom - and they are going to touch up the paint and finish up the floor details next week. But the first available time to get the hallways wardrobe installed was the 20th, and they will come to fix the walk-in closet the day after. They didn't have that many fun option for the last part - but it will be OK for what we are going to use that closet for.

We bought a wardrobe from Ikea for our bedroom, so we gonna fix that this weekend. Hopefully we will be most in place with most things during this weekend and can use the extra bedroom for storage until the rest of the stuff are done.

We also need to buy a new bed.. The frame on the one I have is pretty worn down cause of all the moving (I have had it for around 10 years now) - but it is very good quality, so we are gonna buy a new frame and use the mattress from the one we have. - we are probably just gonna buy that from ikea as well. Will see :)

Anyways - Work day almost over :) I want to wish you all a great weekend .. Gonna leave you with this song.. Just came over it on youtube and I am loving it..

@ Claire: Sounds great.. We can talk about the details of how to later :) Really looking forward to this- and I think it is an amazing idea to post it on the blog - I will most likely update it my self :)




<3

*sigh*

I have gained like 300 grams ish since my last weigh in. I guess it could be worse- but ya... I am not taking it too harsh since it was the first weigh in after my period, and I tend to gain during those days.. Next weigh in will be much better.. 

Day 3: Do you count calories? What is your daily calorie goal/allowance?

According to MFP it should be 1260. I have been eating around/under that on my good days.. (Unless you wanna have a look at the "that time of the month" days)

Anywho.. Sort of sore and cranky today.. So I'm gonna be off for now. 

<3 

*ouch*

I guess you don't know how bad your shape is until the day after a workout lol.. My everything aches.. But it is a good ache I guess :)... I have lost the 0.4 kg I gained- so that is good. I do feel sort of bloated.. I think it is cause of the late period.. 

@ Aye Ell :         I haven't really been hanging out with that many new woman- but it is not that long ago we changed our offices and are in the same building with all the others- and there are a whole lot of woman in other deps.. So I dunno really.. 

Anyway.. I am dead tired today.. Got barely 5 hours of sleep... And that is way way way too little for me.. I like a good 8-10 hours hehe.. Not that I ever get it unless I am home sick.. Even then I tend to wake up way too early.. I used to be able to sleep all day.... Hmm.. 

Over to something ttly different... I found a white hair... I know it is really shallow to say what I am going to say.. But... A white hair... I am so not ready for it!.. I don't want it.. :( I just turned 29 and what does the universe toss me... A white hair... COME ON!!! *sigh* lol .. I guess now I have a reason to dye my hair hehe.. 

I did pretty OK with food yesterday. Having more small snacks (fruit) made the day so much easier- and I wasn't too hungry by dinner time. So that is good.. 

I don't have much to say today.. Sort of too tired to focus.. But I just wanna say again thanks to you girls.. Everytime I feel alone in this- or when I feel like no one understand.. There you are.. Cheering me on.. 

<3 

Sigh @ me!

Yesterday didn't go so well... I did good until dinner time but then I went on a eating spree.. OMG I suck.. :( So yesterday ended up in way too many cals :S .. Where as my max level according to my fitness pal is 1250.. *sigh* ...

But today is a new day. I have learned that I should be better with how I eat during the work day so I don't get so hungry and don't eat mindlessly.. I must say.. I did stop my self at some point- cause I could eat and eat and eat... I have gained 0.4 kg.. I am not taking it too harsh- cause I haven't been drinking so much when I was ill and since yesterday I have been back to drinking normally again.. And I did pig out yesterday..... So ya.. Lesson learned..

 Another *sigh* moment is me being late AGAIN!!! I mean come on.. This isn't funny anymore.. I know for a fact that I should not be pregnant this time- cause we have been careful since I panicked last time.. I have never been like this.. I used to be able to count on the day I would get my period to the exact day when I was in my teens even.. So this is stupid..

Another I suck moment is the fact that we didn't hit the gym either.. I guess me being stuffed after dinner- and dead tired cause of lack of sleep doesn't help.. I am so disappointed in my self :S

I am really going to focus on today and not fuck up... Todays goal is to eat within the calorie budget.. It sure is something I need to learn cause I have to learn to recognize the "stop" button my mind has forgotten all about..

I bought these plastic plates on my way home yesterday which I am thinking will help my portion control issues..

The bigger half for veg- 1/4 for carbs and the other for protein.. I mean.. This should be safe.. If I stick to the plate and don't go for a second.. Then it should be the right size for a normal portion.. Or what???

I'm sorry for being all sucky today.. I am not liking my self all that much at the moment..

Anyway.. I will be off before I rant more BS..


<3

I have a new motto..

One step at the time..

I am so sick of my self trying to do over plan every single step of my life and then panicking if something unplanned happens. But guess what.. I am going to teach my self to take one step at the time.. What ever is going to happen will happen no matter how much I try to control everything.. So from now on I am going to worry and deal with things when/if they happen.

Like my hair salon time.. They couldn't fit me in for the Brazilian blow dry until .. October 13th.. Until now I would totally go mental and be in wtf mode.. Now I am chilling and thinking OK- my hair will look good for Christmas time.. hehe..

I am also taking a whole new outlook on the baby stuff.. I am done trying to convince my self that I don't want it to happen. I am done trying my fucked up mind control it.. I love my hubby.. I want to have kids with him.. I have always been wanting this.. I am not going to ruin it for me and for him being all "I dunno" about it.. I mean.. For all we know it might not happen before a few months.. It's not like people get pregnant the second they decide to. AND we didn't last month using no rubber at all... So the plan is to keep restricting the calories and pick up the training and IF I get pregnant I will deal with it then. They actually recommend light training during the whole pregnancy so it doesn't mean I can not get stronger during the thing as well as before..

And you know what girls.. I have never ever seen my hubby being so stressed over a subject.. He said "I am worried that you will regret the pregnancy and the baby and I wont be able to deal with it" ... OMG.. I can not believe I have let him think that I would regret it all.. Cause I would never.. Ever...

Anyways over to food and so on.. My tummy is pretty upset after the weekend. I am taking it easy with food and so far I have basicly have had a banana (it's lunch time now)-- I am also trying to drink a bunch of water cause I feel so thirsty all the time.. I guess my body needs it to balance it self back again...

I have also decided to cut the step two to only once a day- and that with dinner time. That is my main meal of the day with something hot to eat- so I think that is the right way to go.. I don't want to stress up my tummy like this again :S I got on the scale today.. I haven't lost or gained.. But it is sort of weird cause I have been really sick lol.. So I was suspecting that I would weigh in less.. But I guess being this bloated is messing it up?? I dunno... hmm...

Now that I am feeling better I am also back to counting calories and writing down the intake again. So that is good.. I guess we will see if it gets better by Thursday when I have my next date with the scale.. The scale... AKA THE evil lover.. Can't live with it.. Can't stand to be without it hehe

This week started more chill at work.. I still have a whole bunch of cases that are left from last week.. But I think I will be done with most of it today. *keeps them crossed*

We also finally got to place our wedding gifts - returned a couple- used out gift vouchers. We got us a Nespresso pixie  and a food processor from the Jamie Oliver Tefal series.. We got us a fun surprise when we got home and saw that it also had a blender in the pack.. hehe.. Got a bunch of small stuff for the rest of the vouchers so it was a whole lot of fun..

I also got around to write most of the thank you cards- and to sort the guestbook- picked out around 36 pictures we asked the photo dude to fix. I must say it is good to have most of the wedding related things done. All that is left is to pay the guys that filmed the wedding ( we still haven't received the bill ) and to fix the photo book when we get the pictures...

We are still flat hunting.. We saw this flat yesterday which would be perfect for us in every way.. We would need to have the kitchen fixed- but I guess that is a good thing since we will be able to have it done the way we want it.. We have to sort out and see if we can afford it cause it is a tad over the budget we were planning on spending. But then again.. It is also much bigger and central placed than we though we could have it.. So we will see..

Anyways :) We will see how it goes :)

<3

30 mins left from my lunch break...

So I just grabbed my laptop and moved into a room.. Took off my shoes and put up my feet ^^ And OMG.. It feels so nice.. This week has been insane.. I am ignoring everything and anyone.. I just needed a break.. I haven't really been eating anything for lunch since I feel sick of all the stress.. And didn't feel like eating at all.. 

I guess it's good. I rather just have some blog time.. I must admit I miss having the blog time.. Can not wait for tomorrow to be over.. I really need a break.. We still haven't even moved the wedding gifts we got lol. Everything is in the middle of the living room on the dinner table.. I want to have a look and get those in place.. And I want to use the IPL laser thingi I bought in Barcelona. I haven't had the chance to try it even :S -- I also have to pick the pictures I want the photo dude to fix.. And maybe start on the thank you cards.. Oh and I want to get some driving done.. I still don't have a license and I want to be done with it by the end of this year. Or the start of next at the latest. 

I am done with my period.. Yay for that.. I was horrid.. But I dunno it is because I have been so tired.. Or cause I have been eating less. But I have barely had any cravings during this one.. AND for the first time in AGES I am done with my period and I haven't gained anything.. I got on the scale this morning and I have lost around half a pound. Not much but so much better than a gain. :) 

I think.. Hope next week at work will be more chill.. One of the guys will be back from his vacation. The other that has been home sick since yesterday should be back by Monday. This guy that was on parental leave will be back on Tuesday.. So I think it will be more chill.. 

My bday is next Friday and we were talking about maybe take a trip to Oslo for the weekend.. But I am not sure if I want to. I think I rather just have some "home" time if you know what I mean. And maybe have the Oslo trip later in the month.. Will see..  I am getting old girls... lol.. Really old :P 

Anyways.. I think I need to get off now. Gonna get me some tea and so on before I need to be back again.. 

<3

Guys are stupid..

ARGH!!!!!

We got our wedding photo's.. The guy that tok the picture is a friend of our friend who does it as a job.. Anywho.. The moron was supposed to fix some of the pictures and send a copy of them to me before sending them to the movie guys so they could use it as the intro on the DVD's and for the cover and so on..

First of all he "forgot" to do the first part so he just sent them to the guys.. Instead of sending them 10 pictures as they had asked he had only sent 3- they needed 3 different.. And OMG!!!!!! OMG!!!! The guy fucking must be an utter idiot.. Cause he has chosen 3 pictures where we look like retards.. /sigh..

He also had "fixed" 30 ish pictures that he sent to me along with the rest of the pictures and OMG again :S The pictures he has fixed are so fucked up..

There is one from me where I am holding my boobs and my BFF is fixing the back of my dress.. Where my boobs look like they are falling out :S He has a frontal picture of that and he fixed that one?? WTF.. What the fuck was he thinking??

Or there is one from the back of my dress at the end of the night... There the tail is on the floor and the picture is focused on the tail.. And the tail is dirty cause it was rainy and we had walked a tad on a sandy road... and he has fixed that as a picture ?? WHY!!!!! Or he has fixed a pictures of the guys that were filming the wedding.. *sigh*

If there is 5 picture from the same moment.. where 4 looks AMAZING and 1 fucked up.. He has fixed the fucked up one.. My husband doesn't have the turkey neck.. And in every fucking picture he has fixed we look like we do...

Anyways I mailed him and tok him I wanted him to fix a selection of pictures that I decide.. That is what he should have done to begin with.. Ugg... Lets see what he says.. I am so fucking annoyed atm... *sigh* I do not understand how he can make a fucking living from doing this shit and be this way?

And I am mailing the guys that made the DVD's so see if we can swap any of the pics- hopefully we can change the pic that is used as the menu background cause it is horrid... Like really really horrid...

Ok.. I just got an email from him saying he will fix the pictures I decide.. I am glad he didn't argue about it.. Cause that would be even more annoying..

Yesterdays intake was OK. I over calculated a whole lot I think. I had two slices of thin crust pizza - for dinner. Which is actually VERY good, cause I normally overeat with pizza. It is one of my binge foods... Anyways.. Just to be sure I over calculated.

Today was weigh- in day. I have lost 0.7 lbs since Tuesday but I am going to weigh in again tomorrow, cause we ate really late last night and my body is a tad off. I am late .. again.. But I have taken like 4 tests and they were all negative so I'm not really worried about being pregnant. I guess my body just needs to adjust after all stress and travels. But I am sort of bloated and ya kind of meh.. If you know what I mean.

:( Gotta get back to work kaos... I will be away from tomorrow - getting back really late Sunday night. Leaving for Germany pretty early tomorrow morning.

Wishing you all a great weekend <3

Weekly weigh in and so on..

I am down 7.7 lbs since last Friday. I will keep updating my ticker as it goes but the official numbers are going to be weekly based. I have a feeling that this number could have been much higher if I hadn't messed it up with that carb day. But that is in the past- and I have learned my lesson. I have also added a new page to keep track of the weekly numbers.

We are at the new offices. It is a mess. And it is VERY open.. There are a few glass rooms- but the rest is open space. I really hope that I get some proper place cause this is very distracting. I cant really focus with all the people passing by. And I do wonder who I get to sit next to later on. I hope it's not going to be someone smelly. Ugg.. I so am not comfy here atm. We don't have our anything of our own either but the laptops. I forgot my lunch at home- and there aren't really any places that sell food that aren't bread based around yet.

Our old office was in the middle of the city and there were plenty to choose from. Now we are outside the city centre close to the station- which isn't finished yet. A salad place is apparently opening there on Monday- so that is good.

I had yet another weird dream- this time my fiance wasn't dressed properly for the church.. And then suddenly it was a new dream- where he was dressed but had forgotten the flowers.. I really hope these dreams stop soon.. I am way too tired for this going on and on for 3 more weeks.

 @ Aye Ell: Ya I am hopping off this from the wedding and for our honeymoon. I am not sure what I will do when we get back. The low carb diet gives fast results but it is easy to gain it all back as fast as you lost them. So I am thinking maybe I should do a calorie restricted plan after the honeymoon and then maybe just keep the "bad carbs" off. With that the weight will get off slowly but it is easier to keep a normal eating habit and keep going. But that is weeks away so I have time to figure it out.
@Eowin: I am 163 cm- or 5'34" I think :) So ya 120 wouldn't be that bad. Good to know I'm not alone about the email thingi- It will be this will until after I am back from honeymoon.. Summer time ftw lol
@Nasimiyu: Thanks hon :) Ya we do want kids- just not in the nearest future. hehe.. Well he does-- I don't.. Long story lol

Not feeling too well today ..

I'm not sure if it is leftover bugs from the tummy flue we got in London, or what but I am still feeling really sick and my tummy is really upset. I know I'm not pregnant now that I got my period. Anyways going to the doctor Monday morning. I am going to talk to her about modifast as well since I will be doing the purely modifast thing for 6 weeks instead of the 3 weeks that the page recommends. With my BMI it should not be an issue.

I am up 0.6 lbs today. But it is most likely cause of my period. I always gain a stupid amount of weight during which goes back to normal day or two after it's over, and 0,6 is nothing compared to how much I normally gain. So now I am going to take a break from the scale for a few days but we will see. I have never been able to stay off it!

Still haven't gotten to the gym.. I suck I know.. I just have no energy or will to move being so nauseated all the time..

@ Fedup.. Gl on that.. I haven't really been in mood/shape to do the mental stuff Marisa Peer talks about with the gym stuff yet.. And thanks hon :)

@Child of a pathy.. Thanks :) I am going to try to do the small goals thing,, I just need to get my bum to gym first hehe.. Oh and those boots are very cute.. They kill the feet when you walk for more than 5 mins in them hehe but they sure are cute..

Oh and welcome to the new followers, I don't seem to be able to follow your blogs since I don't always get them up if you haven't linked them to your profile. So feel free to leave the link as a comment so I can check them out :)

And I have a question for you all. Why did you choose the nickname you have on blogger?? I choose Kitty, since it is my nickname irl. My bff started calling me for that years ago.. I think it's more than 10 years ago now.. Cause she says I have a cat like personality. I can be very nice and cozy when I want to, but as soon as something bothers me and makes me upset I go all "catty" and scratch back hehe. And people say I sound like a kitten when I sneeze.. (*sigh* I know)..
So why did you choose yours :) ??

Ok, so here goes nothing..

London was great, I finally got me a proper haircut and had my eyebrows threaded. I also shopped for some new pairs of shoes and got me a very cute purse. We ended up paying an additional 96 GBP for the hotel :S Apparently the breakfast wasn't included.. I am 100% sure that I ordered the hotel WITH it.. but I guess not... So that really was a shock.. And a good bunch of money...
My bff and her husband met us there as well for the last two days and it was nice to meet her again. We ate ALOT... I have gained so much and I have reached yet another "this is my new fattest weight EVER" weight. So this is really about time to stop that and get back on track.
Before we left to London I read Marisa Peer's book "You can be thin" and since this morning I am following her plan. I will reread the book, and I will listen to the CD again every night. A lot of changes I am making are mental changes. They are about how I talk about my self. Talking down will make you believe that you are what you keep telling your self you are. I will not call my self for stuff again. Now when my bf tells me I am beautiful I wont argue back. I will listen and try to agree. I am not denying my self food, I am simply choosing not to eat some groups of food. I will focus on what I can eat and choose to eat them because those are what will make my body work better and for me, not against me. So flour and wheat is out cause that is not what is normal for my body to eat. It is like eating glue.. And it will be hard for my body to burn off. No added sugar.. I do not need sugar. No dairy products. Cows milk is full of that animals pus and hormons.. It was not ment for humans. Chocolate is basicly lard which will cover up my organs..
I will eat food that I can recognise, food that can be eaten raw if I want to. Food that can be portable. Fruits, veg, meat, egg, fish, seeds, nuts, lentils. What more can I ask for?
Choosing what is good for my body and eating what it can burn off and keeping it clean is what I am aiming for. No processed food. So I am going to choose me and what is best for me. I will also go to the gym because that is what I choose to do. I will choose things that are good for me and my body. On Monday I will also start couch to 5k running plan and I am really looking forward to that.

Feeling better today..

I am feeling much better today. I'm down 2 lbs which is good. And I feel lighter since yesterdays intake was a total 534 calories. I still didn't make it to gym, but I am not panicking over that. There is a lot going on that we need to have done for the wedding. It is around 9 weeks left now. I have been watching a whole lot of you tube at work lately.. And yesterday I was watching Super skinny me, and I know giving diet tips isn't what they were aiming for. But one of the girls that is almost my hight managed to get down 5 dress sizes in 5 weeks. 

One of the things she did was to do work out 2 hours per day. So that is what I am aiming for from next week. 2 hours of cardio per day 5 days a week. Who knows, maybe I will be able to get down 4-5 dress sizes by my wedding day. I mean 5 weeks of that amount of training is doable. I don't mind having my dress fitted to a smaller size. 

As Fed Up said yesterday, I think I have really reached my "I HAVE TO DO THIS" limit. I have been having so many "down" days lately that it is effecting my relationship. So now I'm just gonna do it..

Back to the start..

Todays WI was much better than the one couple days ago. I am back where I was before my bff came to visit. And that is good news. Cause I felt ttly yuck.. More yuck than usual.. I have been reading the book Hungry after I read about it on Harlows blog and I must admit, I am really enjoying this book. I am alomost halfway and I really have a hard time putting the book away everytime I HAVE to put it away. I was very down, and in a bad place when I read wasted by Maria hornbacher. It made it "easier" to purge.. I dont know if it makes sense.. And I really hate that feeling.. Anyways hungry is a good book.. If you like to read, I recommend it..

Not feeling all too great today.. I have a bad headache.. I think I havent been drinking enough water or something. I also forgot to take my CLA pills with me. I guess I will have to take them when I get home. One of many downsides of having Fibromyalgia is that I need an "in" day per week.. Else my body shuts down.. I dont know why.. It just has been like this for ages.. I didn't get that last week, and I really feel like my body is.. Like.. Really difficult to work with.. It's like I have no energy and I am even more short tempered that I normally am. I am also insanly sensitiv when it comes to light and smells.. And when I feel like I do today. It all becomes too much to deal with.. 

I am considering to just go home from work.. I don't seem to be able to keep going. But I am still pretty new at this job. And I did have Monday off cause my BFF was here.. So I dunno.. 

Edit:

2 down .. ALOT to go..

Eventhough I loved the nice sunny weather we had during Easter I could do without all the eating.. I don't understand why every holiday is a binge fest.. But ya Easter is over and I have been doing really good since yesterday. I am doing very ok with food.. Yesterday I had no bfast, a small turkey ham sub with salad, no cheese / no saus- dinner was salad, portion of couscous, a portion of grilled chicken filet and some veg. And I had a handfull of nuts later that night.It's around 900 calories inn. Today I have had almost the same with the difference of a protein shake  (107 cals)  in the morning. I am trying to have a protein shake within 30 mins after I get up to test Rusty's theory.

Gym has been ok. I suck, and my condition is next to zero. But I went yesterday and today. Did a tiny little session of HIIT followed by 20 mins of steady cardio. I'm gonna keep going eventhough I don't do as good/ much as I wish I could. But I'll get there.. Oh and ya I almost forgot, I am down 2,2 lbs :) I still have many many many many many lbs to lose but ya.. 2 is better than nothing..