I sort of feel like this blog is pulling me more down back to my B/P habits..
Not sure if it's true or not.. But .. I am starting a new blog.. and am moving on.
If you want to follow that one here is the link. It is still a work in progress but ya..
If you don't follow the other one, I want to say thank you for all your support and love so far. <3
2011/09/28
2011/09/26
Erm ya..
So I am ttly blocking out the eats on Friday.. I woke up on Saturday and I actually had lost some weight.. Nothing to brag about but pretty surprising when I think about how my eats had been. Sunday was dinner at the in laws- birthday dinner for hubby's brother. Cake and stuff.. Blocking that too..
I am in such a denial mode lol.. There is no end to it..
I woke up in the middle of the night and had cramps from hell... So I got my period.. 10 days ish late.. And it is killing me now. It is REALLY bad.. I have cramps.. Am bloated.. My mood is a bliss.. I have never ever been so emo.. I could swap from loughing to crying.. yup..
I am so not stepping on the scale while I have the days.. And I am also keep watching my eats and figure out what my next step is going to be..
This time I think I might keep it to my self and share it if I can actually keep the plans.
Anyways.. Tired and cranky.. So I will be off..
<3
I am in such a denial mode lol.. There is no end to it..
I woke up in the middle of the night and had cramps from hell... So I got my period.. 10 days ish late.. And it is killing me now. It is REALLY bad.. I have cramps.. Am bloated.. My mood is a bliss.. I have never ever been so emo.. I could swap from loughing to crying.. yup..
I am so not stepping on the scale while I have the days.. And I am also keep watching my eats and figure out what my next step is going to be..
This time I think I might keep it to my self and share it if I can actually keep the plans.
Anyways.. Tired and cranky.. So I will be off..
<3
2011/09/23
Born to be ... Failoure?? Fat?? Flabby??
So yesterday I fucked up..
I did good until after work.. I sticked to my meals and had a good food day.. Then I met hubby- and he says "We only have an hour before we need to meet the designer- lets grab some burgers for dinner" *sigh*... And I am like.. "but I can not have it" and he said.. "Come on it's been a while, you wont die from it" ...
And girls.. I ate.. Not just a small veggie one as I had planned on having for dinner with broccoli.. But a huge fatty greasy one from Burger king.. And fuck the fucking shit.. According to my fitnesspal it has almost 1000 calories. I sat there munching in and kept thinking.. "I shouldn't do this"--"I shouldn't do this" ... *sigh*...
Anyways.. Today isn't getting any better.. We are going to have dinner with my hubby's co workers.. And I just had a look at the menu at the place where we are going to eat.. And look at this.... *sigh* what the fuck am I supposed to eat there?? I thought maybe I would have the caesar salad and ask them to have the dressing on the side and skip the bacon.. I dunno.. Please help girls.. I am going to ask what the vegetarian dish is.. And see if it is any better.. *Sigh*
Anyways.. I am keeping it pretty light during work today. I am having just some coffee/tea - maybe couple of 20 cal piece wasa crackers. I also have a K bliss bar - 90 calories with me..
I didn't exercise last night either.. Fucking fibromyalgi.. I was in such a bad shape.. I could barely move my arms... So I took a couple of pain killers and went straight to bed as soon as we got home.. ( We didn't get home before 9 PM ish).. I have cut the painkiller to a minimum use- and my body isn't used to them anymore.. So when I actually use them it really puts me down.. I am still numb from them- and I really couldn't open my eyes this morning. And it is doing wonders for my mood.. And as if that is not enough.. I am starving.. When I take them I can eat and eat and eat and eat and eat.. Add emotional binge eater on top of that.. And hola-- You got me..
Anyways... Don't have much to say today than being a downer- so I am off for now.
<3
I did good until after work.. I sticked to my meals and had a good food day.. Then I met hubby- and he says "We only have an hour before we need to meet the designer- lets grab some burgers for dinner" *sigh*... And I am like.. "but I can not have it" and he said.. "Come on it's been a while, you wont die from it" ...
And girls.. I ate.. Not just a small veggie one as I had planned on having for dinner with broccoli.. But a huge fatty greasy one from Burger king.. And fuck the fucking shit.. According to my fitnesspal it has almost 1000 calories. I sat there munching in and kept thinking.. "I shouldn't do this"--"I shouldn't do this" ... *sigh*...
Anyways.. Today isn't getting any better.. We are going to have dinner with my hubby's co workers.. And I just had a look at the menu at the place where we are going to eat.. And look at this.... *sigh* what the fuck am I supposed to eat there?? I thought maybe I would have the caesar salad and ask them to have the dressing on the side and skip the bacon.. I dunno.. Please help girls.. I am going to ask what the vegetarian dish is.. And see if it is any better.. *Sigh*
Anyways.. I am keeping it pretty light during work today. I am having just some coffee/tea - maybe couple of 20 cal piece wasa crackers. I also have a K bliss bar - 90 calories with me..
I didn't exercise last night either.. Fucking fibromyalgi.. I was in such a bad shape.. I could barely move my arms... So I took a couple of pain killers and went straight to bed as soon as we got home.. ( We didn't get home before 9 PM ish).. I have cut the painkiller to a minimum use- and my body isn't used to them anymore.. So when I actually use them it really puts me down.. I am still numb from them- and I really couldn't open my eyes this morning. And it is doing wonders for my mood.. And as if that is not enough.. I am starving.. When I take them I can eat and eat and eat and eat and eat.. Add emotional binge eater on top of that.. And hola-- You got me..
Anyways... Don't have much to say today than being a downer- so I am off for now.
<3
2011/09/22
Lunch time hell lol
So here I was sitting and thinking "oh it's almost lunch time- mmm I am craving a burger" - and I was having an internal argue with my self about how I should just ignore it - and have my home made lunch.
Mid discussions the guys decide to order burgers... So in my dep- it's me and 10 guys.. Of those 10 are 8 having burgers - and here I am munching on my carrot sticks..
I hate the fact that I am ALWAYS surrounded by fast food at work.. I stopped having lunch at in the common room- and am having it by my desk and there is still food smells all over the place.. Now from the guys hamburgers.. Anyways.. I am eating my burgers... I might go buy a coke zero later just to have the "junk food" cravings out of my system..
Other than that.. I am tired (surprise surprise)..
Oh today we are going to the flat we bought with the guy that is going to do the renovation of the kitchen and the bathroom for us- to have a look at the place and take some measurements. So that is exciting.
Other than that.. I am going to do another run today- didn't do anything yesterday since hubby's dad came suddenly over - and stayed for dinner and behind lol but I am looking forward to today and yes my legs are still aching since the last time hehe :)
Thanks for the comments yesterday girls.. Made me feel more sane hehe :)
@ Nasimiyu : Ya I have ended up with unfriending almost all of them- most of the rest I got on "hide" so I don't get any updates on my home screen. Hehe- I got two girls left on the open stuff- one from blogger the other from MFP. If you add me - make sure to put on the note that it is you so I don't ignore the invite lol.. I am pretty much doing it with the rest of the invites I get .. *hmm feel a tad mean* ^^
@ Seeking Something Else: My first day on MFP was a binge day lol.. When I was logging it I kept remember more and more stuff I had eaten lol .. It was horrid- but on the bright side- the pain of logging it - makes it a tad easier to battle the binge.
It is ttly true that people understimate what they eat.. I know that when I started writing down everything I ate the min I had it in my mouth.. I realized how much I actually ate :S AND got more real about how I need to have more of a portion control.
Mid discussions the guys decide to order burgers... So in my dep- it's me and 10 guys.. Of those 10 are 8 having burgers - and here I am munching on my carrot sticks..
I hate the fact that I am ALWAYS surrounded by fast food at work.. I stopped having lunch at in the common room- and am having it by my desk and there is still food smells all over the place.. Now from the guys hamburgers.. Anyways.. I am eating my burgers... I might go buy a coke zero later just to have the "junk food" cravings out of my system..
Other than that.. I am tired (surprise surprise)..
Oh today we are going to the flat we bought with the guy that is going to do the renovation of the kitchen and the bathroom for us- to have a look at the place and take some measurements. So that is exciting.
Other than that.. I am going to do another run today- didn't do anything yesterday since hubby's dad came suddenly over - and stayed for dinner and behind lol but I am looking forward to today and yes my legs are still aching since the last time hehe :)
Thanks for the comments yesterday girls.. Made me feel more sane hehe :)
@ Nasimiyu : Ya I have ended up with unfriending almost all of them- most of the rest I got on "hide" so I don't get any updates on my home screen. Hehe- I got two girls left on the open stuff- one from blogger the other from MFP. If you add me - make sure to put on the note that it is you so I don't ignore the invite lol.. I am pretty much doing it with the rest of the invites I get .. *hmm feel a tad mean* ^^
@ Seeking Something Else: My first day on MFP was a binge day lol.. When I was logging it I kept remember more and more stuff I had eaten lol .. It was horrid- but on the bright side- the pain of logging it - makes it a tad easier to battle the binge.
It is ttly true that people understimate what they eat.. I know that when I started writing down everything I ate the min I had it in my mouth.. I realized how much I actually ate :S AND got more real about how I need to have more of a portion control.
2011/09/21
WTF is wrong with people...
So I got invited and added from a bunch of people on myfitnesspal account- none from here- just the ones that are there..
And I just came across this ticket in their forum, which is so WTF...
And it kept going on and on.. I mean comeon... I know for a fact the reason why I am fat- is cause I eat to much and that to control it I gotta keep track of every fucking bite.. Else a bite here- and a bite there will become a whole bunch of calories..
What the fuck is wrong with these people? Now I am so regreting the whole fucking "friends" shit over there that I might even remake my account and nvm the whole shit with them ... And they call them selves for freaking "motivational grp" ... Jeez.. Making people think that it is ok to stay fat and still not track what they stuff their face with....
Argh.... I am so annoyed now...
This can not be normal...
And I just came across this ticket in their forum, which is so WTF...
- I stole some of my sons saltine gold fish crackers from him last night. I ate them with him, and didn't log it, may have been up to 5 crackers.
- sometimes I have a brownie for breakfast and don't log it! only occaisonally though
- I totally eat my sons food.
- I never click "Complete this entry" when I'm noticeably over. And a glass of wine may have slipped on to last night's consumption. Well, it was a Tuesday!
- It is not unusual for me to eat a handful of unlogged jelly beans.
- i dip into my daughter's dora snacks when shes not looking, then blame it on my older son, and yes, they're not logged in either.
- I prelog how many I might have. So I'll usually log about 12 drinks at the start of the evening.
And it kept going on and on.. I mean comeon... I know for a fact the reason why I am fat- is cause I eat to much and that to control it I gotta keep track of every fucking bite.. Else a bite here- and a bite there will become a whole bunch of calories..
What the fuck is wrong with these people? Now I am so regreting the whole fucking "friends" shit over there that I might even remake my account and nvm the whole shit with them ... And they call them selves for freaking "motivational grp" ... Jeez.. Making people think that it is ok to stay fat and still not track what they stuff their face with....
Argh.... I am so annoyed now...
This can not be normal...
*ouch*
I guess you don't know how bad your shape is until the day after a workout lol.. My everything aches.. But it is a good ache I guess :)... I have lost the 0.4 kg I gained- so that is good. I do feel sort of bloated.. I think it is cause of the late period..
@ Aye Ell : I haven't really been hanging out with that many new woman- but it is not that long ago we changed our offices and are in the same building with all the others- and there are a whole lot of woman in other deps.. So I dunno really..
Anyway.. I am dead tired today.. Got barely 5 hours of sleep... And that is way way way too little for me.. I like a good 8-10 hours hehe.. Not that I ever get it unless I am home sick.. Even then I tend to wake up way too early.. I used to be able to sleep all day.... Hmm..
Over to something ttly different... I found a white hair... I know it is really shallow to say what I am going to say.. But... A white hair... I am so not ready for it!.. I don't want it.. :( I just turned 29 and what does the universe toss me... A white hair... COME ON!!! *sigh* lol .. I guess now I have a reason to dye my hair hehe..
I did pretty OK with food yesterday. Having more small snacks (fruit) made the day so much easier- and I wasn't too hungry by dinner time. So that is good..
I don't have much to say today.. Sort of too tired to focus.. But I just wanna say again thanks to you girls.. Everytime I feel alone in this- or when I feel like no one understand.. There you are.. Cheering me on..
<3
2011/09/20
OMG!!!!!!!!!
Ok So I know this is nothing compared to what most of you guys do... But I just did my first walk/jog thing EVER.....
It was only was for 15 mins.. And I felt like my heart was pounding out of my ears... BUT I did it.. So yaaay for that...
Lessons learned:
I can do it....
Do not jog too fast else you will die....
Living on the third floor SUCKS when your legs feel like jelly lol
I am so doing this again!!!!!!!
<3
It was only was for 15 mins.. And I felt like my heart was pounding out of my ears... BUT I did it.. So yaaay for that...
Lessons learned:
I can do it....
Do not jog too fast else you will die....
Living on the third floor SUCKS when your legs feel like jelly lol
I am so doing this again!!!!!!!
<3
Sigh @ me!
Yesterday didn't go so well... I did good until dinner time but then I went on a eating spree.. OMG I suck.. :( So yesterday ended up in way too many cals :S .. Where as my max level according to my fitness pal is 1250.. *sigh* ...
But today is a new day. I have learned that I should be better with how I eat during the work day so I don't get so hungry and don't eat mindlessly.. I must say.. I did stop my self at some point- cause I could eat and eat and eat... I have gained 0.4 kg.. I am not taking it too harsh- cause I haven't been drinking so much when I was ill and since yesterday I have been back to drinking normally again.. And I did pig out yesterday..... So ya.. Lesson learned..
Another *sigh* moment is me being late AGAIN!!! I mean come on.. This isn't funny anymore.. I know for a fact that I should not be pregnant this time- cause we have been careful since I panicked last time.. I have never been like this.. I used to be able to count on the day I would get my period to the exact day when I was in my teens even.. So this is stupid..
Another I suck moment is the fact that we didn't hit the gym either.. I guess me being stuffed after dinner- and dead tired cause of lack of sleep doesn't help.. I am so disappointed in my self :S
I am really going to focus on today and not fuck up... Todays goal is to eat within the calorie budget.. It sure is something I need to learn cause I have to learn to recognize the "stop" button my mind has forgotten all about..
I bought these plastic plates on my way home yesterday which I am thinking will help my portion control issues..
The bigger half for veg- 1/4 for carbs and the other for protein.. I mean.. This should be safe.. If I stick to the plate and don't go for a second.. Then it should be the right size for a normal portion.. Or what???
I'm sorry for being all sucky today.. I am not liking my self all that much at the moment..
Anyway.. I will be off before I rant more BS..
<3
But today is a new day. I have learned that I should be better with how I eat during the work day so I don't get so hungry and don't eat mindlessly.. I must say.. I did stop my self at some point- cause I could eat and eat and eat... I have gained 0.4 kg.. I am not taking it too harsh- cause I haven't been drinking so much when I was ill and since yesterday I have been back to drinking normally again.. And I did pig out yesterday..... So ya.. Lesson learned..
Another *sigh* moment is me being late AGAIN!!! I mean come on.. This isn't funny anymore.. I know for a fact that I should not be pregnant this time- cause we have been careful since I panicked last time.. I have never been like this.. I used to be able to count on the day I would get my period to the exact day when I was in my teens even.. So this is stupid..
Another I suck moment is the fact that we didn't hit the gym either.. I guess me being stuffed after dinner- and dead tired cause of lack of sleep doesn't help.. I am so disappointed in my self :S
I am really going to focus on today and not fuck up... Todays goal is to eat within the calorie budget.. It sure is something I need to learn cause I have to learn to recognize the "stop" button my mind has forgotten all about..
I bought these plastic plates on my way home yesterday which I am thinking will help my portion control issues..
The bigger half for veg- 1/4 for carbs and the other for protein.. I mean.. This should be safe.. If I stick to the plate and don't go for a second.. Then it should be the right size for a normal portion.. Or what???
I'm sorry for being all sucky today.. I am not liking my self all that much at the moment..
Anyway.. I will be off before I rant more BS..
<3
2011/09/19
Ugg..
Just lost everything I wrote cause Chrome decided to crash... *sigh* -- And I was about to publish it... Not even a draft was saved..
What I said what that I am back at work... And it is good to be back.. But the guy that told me I needed a gastro is back to work.. He is in another dep now- but I still see him all the time.. He has been away for over a month- and he has lost a bunch of weight. The neck fats are down to two rolls only now heh...
The good thing about it is that I will use him as a motivation of what I will never become.
Other thing is that we are actually finally going back to gym today.. We have been using the WiiFit and I have been walking on the treadmill.. But it is just not the same.. Hubby is is the most horrid shape he has ever been too.. So he really needs to get back to training. He has his first competition in November. And that is not that far away. So we are going to go home after work- have a snack - change and hit the gym..
His membership runs out soon, I think in end of this or next month... Mine will run out by mid March and we both can not wait to change to another place.. The one we have now is really expensive---but it has the most sucky opening hours- and very few cardio machines.. So it is always a long line to get to those.. Which is really a waste of time.. We will see what is close to where we are going to move to - and see what sort of opening hours - and options we have.
Other thing I was thinking about was this convo I had with hubby yesterday while we were grocery shopping. He mentioned that he never thought about the fat/calories and so on content of the food he eats. That he didn't have a problem saying no to food that he knows isn't good for him. And that made me think.. I have NEVER been able to do that. I am in the bulimic- Ednos category.. More ednos than mia I would say my self.. Cause I tend to over eat often- but the B/P sessions can stop for months at the time.. As I have maybe mentioned before I have no idea what a "normal" portion size is/ or should be.. I have never had used food for food.. It has been something I would use for comfort.. For making my self feel better.. It has always been my personal choice of drug.. I am wondering now.. Should I seek help for this? I mean.. No one will take me serious.. Look how fat I am lol... I dunno... I have been having many different thoughts and feeling about it.. I think I might just try to keep to my eating plan- and see where it takes me.
Talking about eating plan.. Does anyone of you have a myfitnesspal account? And if you do would you wanna be my friend there? My user name is : Gela82.. I have given my self a new start there and I am aiming to use the program properly tracking everything.
Hmm.. What else... Erm ya.. I am going to try to keep my scale time to only twice a week. I tend to lose motivation if I have gained.. And it is another failour moment I don't need. I mean it is not like I aim to fail- but the weight can be so different from day to day with the water weight and so on.. So ya.. I think I am going to try to stick to only Tuesdays and Thursdays for now.. (if I can manage)..
I also want to thank Mia and AJ for the comment on my last post.. You girls are both amazing.. <3 :)
@Miranda: The flat we live in now is nice, but not the best area to be living at, that is one of the main reasons why we are moving. I am wondering though. How are the aparments and houses over there? :) I know the nordics tend to have light and more minimalistic designs but I don't really know if that is so different from the US.
@ Run: Ya the treamill is light pink and it is very cute hehe.. It isn't a proper treadmill though- it is ment for walking/power walking and not running. I still think it is a very good option for a rainy day :)
<3
What I said what that I am back at work... And it is good to be back.. But the guy that told me I needed a gastro is back to work.. He is in another dep now- but I still see him all the time.. He has been away for over a month- and he has lost a bunch of weight. The neck fats are down to two rolls only now heh...
The good thing about it is that I will use him as a motivation of what I will never become.
Other thing is that we are actually finally going back to gym today.. We have been using the WiiFit and I have been walking on the treadmill.. But it is just not the same.. Hubby is is the most horrid shape he has ever been too.. So he really needs to get back to training. He has his first competition in November. And that is not that far away. So we are going to go home after work- have a snack - change and hit the gym..
His membership runs out soon, I think in end of this or next month... Mine will run out by mid March and we both can not wait to change to another place.. The one we have now is really expensive---but it has the most sucky opening hours- and very few cardio machines.. So it is always a long line to get to those.. Which is really a waste of time.. We will see what is close to where we are going to move to - and see what sort of opening hours - and options we have.
Other thing I was thinking about was this convo I had with hubby yesterday while we were grocery shopping. He mentioned that he never thought about the fat/calories and so on content of the food he eats. That he didn't have a problem saying no to food that he knows isn't good for him. And that made me think.. I have NEVER been able to do that. I am in the bulimic- Ednos category.. More ednos than mia I would say my self.. Cause I tend to over eat often- but the B/P sessions can stop for months at the time.. As I have maybe mentioned before I have no idea what a "normal" portion size is/ or should be.. I have never had used food for food.. It has been something I would use for comfort.. For making my self feel better.. It has always been my personal choice of drug.. I am wondering now.. Should I seek help for this? I mean.. No one will take me serious.. Look how fat I am lol... I dunno... I have been having many different thoughts and feeling about it.. I think I might just try to keep to my eating plan- and see where it takes me.
Talking about eating plan.. Does anyone of you have a myfitnesspal account? And if you do would you wanna be my friend there? My user name is : Gela82.. I have given my self a new start there and I am aiming to use the program properly tracking everything.
Hmm.. What else... Erm ya.. I am going to try to keep my scale time to only twice a week. I tend to lose motivation if I have gained.. And it is another failour moment I don't need. I mean it is not like I aim to fail- but the weight can be so different from day to day with the water weight and so on.. So ya.. I think I am going to try to stick to only Tuesdays and Thursdays for now.. (if I can manage)..
I also want to thank Mia and AJ for the comment on my last post.. You girls are both amazing.. <3 :)
@Miranda: The flat we live in now is nice, but not the best area to be living at, that is one of the main reasons why we are moving. I am wondering though. How are the aparments and houses over there? :) I know the nordics tend to have light and more minimalistic designs but I don't really know if that is so different from the US.
@ Run: Ya the treamill is light pink and it is very cute hehe.. It isn't a proper treadmill though- it is ment for walking/power walking and not running. I still think it is a very good option for a rainy day :)
<3
2011/09/18
Motivation..
I am pretty depressed today. So I thought I would just post a bunch of motivation clips I saw last night. <3
2011/09/16
The promise!
So I did get the "treadmill" ^^ We had to drive to another shop to get the pink one but I think it is totally worth it :)
I have promissed my self something.. I will use it every day.. I don't care if it is only for 30 mins- those 30 mins matter..
I also want to thank you guys for being so nice.. The comments on the last post made me ttly emo hehe.. <3
@Miranda: I will pose before after pictures both for the flat and my self when I have them :)
<3
Edit:
Oh and we put out our current flat for sales.. Here is the link... There are details like the bed sheets that annoy the hell out of me.. But hubby was the one that arranged the shoot and so on.. So I am not going to nag hehe
I have promissed my self something.. I will use it every day.. I don't care if it is only for 30 mins- those 30 mins matter..
I also want to thank you guys for being so nice.. The comments on the last post made me ttly emo hehe.. <3
@Miranda: I will pose before after pictures both for the flat and my self when I have them :)
<3
Edit:
Oh and we put out our current flat for sales.. Here is the link... There are details like the bed sheets that annoy the hell out of me.. But hubby was the one that arranged the shoot and so on.. So I am not going to nag hehe
We bought the place!
So the place I told you in my last post- the one that needs to be totally renovated.. Well we bought it! and we are signing the contract in around 1.5 hours :)
I can not WAIT to get my hands on it- plan the bathroom- kitchen.. the colors.. Everything ^^ Girls feel free to give me your idea's ^^ hehe
Oh another news.. Yesterday I wanted to binge.. I was so ready.. Got to the shop and filled on a whole lot of shit.. And you know what.. When I got home.. I stopped half way.. I reminded my self that this was not who I wanted to be..
Today I have been reminding my self over and over that I NEED TO CHANGE.. I can not keep waiting.. So I wanted a panini. And you know what.. Instead of using butter and ketchup and making two of it as I always would.. I made one. And I used fresh tomato and paprika instead of the fatty stuff.. Still tasted yummy!
I need to keep this up.. Making half of the portion I would normally have. and just keep in mind that I do NOT have to eat everything that is infront of me..
The leftover "binge" food is tucked away. Hubby can have it.. I really don't need to or want it..
So this is how the day has been so far.. After we are done signing the papers for the flat I am going to celebrate.. And this time it will not be with food or something fatty.. I am going to by simple light weight treadmill.. I am so going to get the pink one if they had it hehe .. It is on sale and you know what.. I am planning to actually use it too. I love watching tv so it will be placed right here where I can walk and watch my favorite shows..
Anyways I need to go get ready to get out.. But before I go I want to repaste what I read on a blog today which really got into me..
Today, I will eat healthy. I will not put myself down. I will tell my self that I am amazing, commited, and that I can do this. I will prove to everyone that they were wrong. I will wear a bikini and I will not only look good I FEEL damn good in it. I will be confident, happy and beautiful!
<3
I can not WAIT to get my hands on it- plan the bathroom- kitchen.. the colors.. Everything ^^ Girls feel free to give me your idea's ^^ hehe
Oh another news.. Yesterday I wanted to binge.. I was so ready.. Got to the shop and filled on a whole lot of shit.. And you know what.. When I got home.. I stopped half way.. I reminded my self that this was not who I wanted to be..
Today I have been reminding my self over and over that I NEED TO CHANGE.. I can not keep waiting.. So I wanted a panini. And you know what.. Instead of using butter and ketchup and making two of it as I always would.. I made one. And I used fresh tomato and paprika instead of the fatty stuff.. Still tasted yummy!
I need to keep this up.. Making half of the portion I would normally have. and just keep in mind that I do NOT have to eat everything that is infront of me..
The leftover "binge" food is tucked away. Hubby can have it.. I really don't need to or want it..
So this is how the day has been so far.. After we are done signing the papers for the flat I am going to celebrate.. And this time it will not be with food or something fatty.. I am going to by simple light weight treadmill.. I am so going to get the pink one if they had it hehe .. It is on sale and you know what.. I am planning to actually use it too. I love watching tv so it will be placed right here where I can walk and watch my favorite shows..
Anyways I need to go get ready to get out.. But before I go I want to repaste what I read on a blog today which really got into me..
Today, I will eat healthy. I will not put myself down. I will tell my self that I am amazing, commited, and that I can do this. I will prove to everyone that they were wrong. I will wear a bikini and I will not only look good I FEEL damn good in it. I will be confident, happy and beautiful!
<3
2011/09/15
Feeling better..
I am feeling better.. The last few days have been hell and I can finally breath.. It has been pretty bad.. I have been having a bad fever and I have been living in my own little hell! But I am feeling better and I will be back to work tomorrow.. I can not believe that I am saying this.. But I am missing work.. I am missing my coworkers...
Anyways..
I am also craving to move.. I have been laying down for the last days and this is driving me crazy.. So I can not wait to get out.. Talking about going out- we are going to have a look at the place that needs to be fixed today. And I am actually very positive about it. I mean the idea of being able to redo everything to our aka my taste (hubby doesn't really care :P) and ya all in all I think it would be great. We need a permit to fix the kitchen and the bathroom but while we are waiting on that we can paint- and fix the hallway floor- and change the doors to the bedrooms and so on..
Anyhoo.. So I talked to hubby, and we agreed that if the el and so on good on the flat- we are just gonna bid on it.ofc we are going to bid like 300 k under what they are asking for.. But even with the cost of the repairs, it will be a win when we sell it... And it is like 4 mins walk to the huge park where we had the wedding which is amazing.
So we will see how it goes.. :) But we have agreed that if we don't find a place we love by the end of this month, we will wait with the move until next year..
I feel a tad woozy again.. So I will be off again..
<3
Anyways..
I am also craving to move.. I have been laying down for the last days and this is driving me crazy.. So I can not wait to get out.. Talking about going out- we are going to have a look at the place that needs to be fixed today. And I am actually very positive about it. I mean the idea of being able to redo everything to our aka my taste (hubby doesn't really care :P) and ya all in all I think it would be great. We need a permit to fix the kitchen and the bathroom but while we are waiting on that we can paint- and fix the hallway floor- and change the doors to the bedrooms and so on..
Anyhoo.. So I talked to hubby, and we agreed that if the el and so on good on the flat- we are just gonna bid on it.ofc we are going to bid like 300 k under what they are asking for.. But even with the cost of the repairs, it will be a win when we sell it... And it is like 4 mins walk to the huge park where we had the wedding which is amazing.
So we will see how it goes.. :) But we have agreed that if we don't find a place we love by the end of this month, we will wait with the move until next year..
I feel a tad woozy again.. So I will be off again..
<3
2011/09/13
A new day..
And I am still sick.. I never ever thought I could disgust my self so much lol.. Good thing hubby thinks I am still cute even with the huge red nose and all the other charming side effects of this horrid cold.. I have been coughing so much that my abdominal core muscles ache when I try to move.. Ah well.. C'est la vie..
I have been making a new blog today. It is going to be my recipe blog. I have also made a new page called "eats" where I will link recipes I am trying from the other blog.
I have always loved cooking.. But food has become more than an animy than a friend and I want to break the horrid circle of binging and abusing food.. I am going to try to make/try sensible dishes which will make me feel good instead of guilty for eating them.
Each recipe will also give the amount of calories, fat, carbs and protein per serving (I am using the recipe tool on myfitnesspal to figure those out).. Ofc the numbers can be different since I am using nordic products and most of you guys don't so recalculate those numbers just to be sure if you want to.
Most of the dishes will be veggie or vegan. And that is another step in the right direction for me. I am really excited about all of this :)
Oh and as I mentioned I have redid my goals yesterday, and I resetted my ticker. And I am glad to say that I am finally down 2lbs. I haven't been gaining the last weeks but I haven't been watching what I eat or how much I eat either. So this is also a good step in the right direction.
Anyway.. Wish you all a great day..
<3
I have been making a new blog today. It is going to be my recipe blog. I have also made a new page called "eats" where I will link recipes I am trying from the other blog.
I have always loved cooking.. But food has become more than an animy than a friend and I want to break the horrid circle of binging and abusing food.. I am going to try to make/try sensible dishes which will make me feel good instead of guilty for eating them.
Each recipe will also give the amount of calories, fat, carbs and protein per serving (I am using the recipe tool on myfitnesspal to figure those out).. Ofc the numbers can be different since I am using nordic products and most of you guys don't so recalculate those numbers just to be sure if you want to.
Most of the dishes will be veggie or vegan. And that is another step in the right direction for me. I am really excited about all of this :)
Oh and as I mentioned I have redid my goals yesterday, and I resetted my ticker. And I am glad to say that I am finally down 2lbs. I haven't been gaining the last weeks but I haven't been watching what I eat or how much I eat either. So this is also a good step in the right direction.
Anyway.. Wish you all a great day..
<3
2011/09/12
Killing time__
Good thing about being sick and being home alone is that you get the time to think.. Just think.. You get the time to read.. And to process.. It can be really hard to focus on everything that is happening all the time at the same time..
I have been pretty off the HSGD well mostly cause I have been too busy to track numbers.. That is the excuse I am using for now.. But I know for a fact that if I REALLY want to do something I do no matter where I am and what I am doing. So I guess I really do need to reinvent my self.. and not just talk about it... *sigh*
I know.. I know.. I suck on following up.. I am going to start writing down and track everything I put in my mouth again.. No more excuses, starting today! Starting now.. Don't need to wait till tomorrow- or next week.. Now is as good as any other day..
Step by step ya??
First step: Plan the eats and stay within the calorie budget..
Step two: Write down everything I eat right after I eat them..
Step three: Drink more water.. Eat more veg and fruit..
3 simple steps.. That is where I am going to start again..
Oh and there is this new blog I am loving.. Check it out..
Edit:
I am redoing my goals.. going to put more real goal steps.. :)
I have been pretty off the HSGD well mostly cause I have been too busy to track numbers.. That is the excuse I am using for now.. But I know for a fact that if I REALLY want to do something I do no matter where I am and what I am doing. So I guess I really do need to reinvent my self.. and not just talk about it... *sigh*
I know.. I know.. I suck on following up.. I am going to start writing down and track everything I put in my mouth again.. No more excuses, starting today! Starting now.. Don't need to wait till tomorrow- or next week.. Now is as good as any other day..
Step by step ya??
First step: Plan the eats and stay within the calorie budget..
Step two: Write down everything I eat right after I eat them..
Step three: Drink more water.. Eat more veg and fruit..
3 simple steps.. That is where I am going to start again..
Oh and there is this new blog I am loving.. Check it out..
Edit:
I am redoing my goals.. going to put more real goal steps.. :)
Ugg..
I feel like crap... I haven't really been all well since I got the earache and so on couple weeks ago.. But this is shit.. I can barely breath-- my troat feels like it's going to sufficate me.. And I feel just woozy.. I went to work.. And an hour later, my team leader asked me to consider going home lol.. So I'm home now.. Half dead .. BUT!! On the good note.. I couldn't eat even if I wanted too.. I have been sipping on some hot tea and that made me like I had to vomit.. So I put it a side.. I will try to drink some more later..
Anyway.. This weekend was ok.. We had a look at a few more flats.. There is one I liked.. Here is the link if you wanna have a look.. It is a tad overpriced so we don't know what we are going to do about it. There is one right close to this one- which needs to be fixed up.. We would need to fix EVERYTHING.. But at the end it would be exactly how we want it to.. So we aren't sure yet..
Anyway... I need to crash...
<3
Anyway.. This weekend was ok.. We had a look at a few more flats.. There is one I liked.. Here is the link if you wanna have a look.. It is a tad overpriced so we don't know what we are going to do about it. There is one right close to this one- which needs to be fixed up.. We would need to fix EVERYTHING.. But at the end it would be exactly how we want it to.. So we aren't sure yet..
Anyway... I need to crash...
<3
2011/09/09
Taking it easy..
Today I am taking everything easy... I am very very tired- it is sunny outside but the wind is really strong.. I bought me a new pair of jeans and a thick cardigan yesterday- so today I am all cuddled up in warm cloths.. I am even wearing a scarf.. Which is really good cause I have been freezing a whole lot lately.
My body and mind in general are worn out- hubby is even worse.. So we are really looking forward to this weekend. We are planning to do nothing ^^ Just take it easy and relax.. We might go and have a look at a few places on Sunday, but that is about all we are planning to do.. Oh and we gotta do the laundry tomorrow. We barely have any clean cloths left hehe.. Oh and I have an appointment to get my legs waxed tomorrow.. Well I guess doing nothing for us means a whole bunch of stuff lol but we will take it easy :)
It must be the most chill I have had at work in weeks.. I have my headset on listening to Norah Jones.. Right now it's this one :
I am answering some email, had a couple of calls and drinking my tea.. Sitting far back in my chair and I am loving it. I hope it stays like this all day.
Over to food- I have no idea how much I have been eating the last few days. I haven't really eaten that much- but I haven't been tracking anything either. Have been so tired and out of focus.. But talking about food.. Hubby is going to go veggie/vegan with me. Yay for that.. Things will be so much easier.
But I am back on writing down everything again. I had to delete some apps from my phone cause I kept getting "you are low on space" error all the time.. I don't get why :S But since I couldn't move my calorie counter over to my SD card- I had to remove it too.. Now I only have it on the PC only. I think I might go for an iphone for my next phone.. I have been loving HTC for so long- but these app stuff are getting annoying.. And the new iphone should be out in a month ish so I might just go for it.. Will see..
I haven't been on the scale in a few days either.. The lack of sleep and the stress has made me really bloated even though I have been good for the intake. And we have had the scale packed away since we were going to have the shoot- but I will get on it tomorrow and see how much damage I have to deal with heh..
I am going to read up on more blogs- I am planning to start reading up on some of my favo blog all the way from when they were started.. I mean I do have the time today hehehe .. So why not ^^
<3
Edit: I might play around with the layout and such as well.. I think I want to redo the whole blog.. Make it more positive and not so "hidden" ..Will see..
My body and mind in general are worn out- hubby is even worse.. So we are really looking forward to this weekend. We are planning to do nothing ^^ Just take it easy and relax.. We might go and have a look at a few places on Sunday, but that is about all we are planning to do.. Oh and we gotta do the laundry tomorrow. We barely have any clean cloths left hehe.. Oh and I have an appointment to get my legs waxed tomorrow.. Well I guess doing nothing for us means a whole bunch of stuff lol but we will take it easy :)
It must be the most chill I have had at work in weeks.. I have my headset on listening to Norah Jones.. Right now it's this one :
I am answering some email, had a couple of calls and drinking my tea.. Sitting far back in my chair and I am loving it. I hope it stays like this all day.
Over to food- I have no idea how much I have been eating the last few days. I haven't really eaten that much- but I haven't been tracking anything either. Have been so tired and out of focus.. But talking about food.. Hubby is going to go veggie/vegan with me. Yay for that.. Things will be so much easier.
But I am back on writing down everything again. I had to delete some apps from my phone cause I kept getting "you are low on space" error all the time.. I don't get why :S But since I couldn't move my calorie counter over to my SD card- I had to remove it too.. Now I only have it on the PC only. I think I might go for an iphone for my next phone.. I have been loving HTC for so long- but these app stuff are getting annoying.. And the new iphone should be out in a month ish so I might just go for it.. Will see..
I haven't been on the scale in a few days either.. The lack of sleep and the stress has made me really bloated even though I have been good for the intake. And we have had the scale packed away since we were going to have the shoot- but I will get on it tomorrow and see how much damage I have to deal with heh..
I am going to read up on more blogs- I am planning to start reading up on some of my favo blog all the way from when they were started.. I mean I do have the time today hehehe .. So why not ^^
<3
Edit: I might play around with the layout and such as well.. I think I want to redo the whole blog.. Make it more positive and not so "hidden" ..Will see..
2011/09/08
Sigh @ drama...
Ok-.. So you know how I said we bought the flat and we were going to sign the papers today?? Well guess what we are not!
What happened is that the seller was supposed to send us proof of the bathroom was fixed by a pro company (It has to be for insurance matters)- on Tuesday.. She didn't.. Then her broker called us and said "oh we are sorry- it will be done today" and we were ya ok- shit happenes. Then he asked if we could move the take over date from 1st of November to 1st of December. And we were like well Ok.. As long she brings the papers and we sing the contract tomorrow, we can go for that..
Then the broker mailed me a copy of the contract where he had managed to put wrong price on the contract.. It was around 50k Swedish kroners more than what we had agreed on.. And I was like WTF?? - again he was all sorry- I will fix it..
So this morning, he called the hubby and said "ya we are sorry, but she still hasn't fixed the documents for the bathroom, but she will bring them to the contract signing tonight" .. And he was like "oh and we want to move the takeover date to beginning of January.. I mean comeon!! WTF is that all about.. AND on top of that they wanted to meet on Monday instead of today.... *sigh*
So I called the broker back.. And let me tell you I was pretty pissed.. And I told him that they had 3 options.. 1: We do everything as planned today- 2: We can sign the papers on Monday, and the takeover day will still be December 1st at the latest, but we are taking our bid down with 50k.. 3: She doesn't agree on either and we will just forget about the whole thing..
Then he told me the reason for why she wanted to postpond it.. And the story is so stupid.. Let me start by saying that this lady is older than my mum.. She is around 60 years old.
So she bought the flat she is selling to us with a guy- whom she cheated on- and he moved out. She is now buying a farm with her new flame- and she wanted to wait cause she is unsure about the new guy??? WTF lol
And then he called and said that they didn't want to go for our offers so we were all nvm it then..
Then he called again and were all, oh we are sorry, lets go as planned today! But lets face it- a day full of BS and stress in between work cases.. It's been so stressing and we have lost our "we like this flat" feeling.. So I called my hubby's mum and talked it over with her. And she was like well if you like the flat then go for it but take your bid down with another 100k- if you get it then good, if you don't then it's too bad for the seller.. So we did that and they didn't want it and we are SO done with this shit..
I have never ever ever seen something similar...... Anyway... We are going to keep looking and I am sure we will find something better!
What happened is that the seller was supposed to send us proof of the bathroom was fixed by a pro company (It has to be for insurance matters)- on Tuesday.. She didn't.. Then her broker called us and said "oh we are sorry- it will be done today" and we were ya ok- shit happenes. Then he asked if we could move the take over date from 1st of November to 1st of December. And we were like well Ok.. As long she brings the papers and we sing the contract tomorrow, we can go for that..
Then the broker mailed me a copy of the contract where he had managed to put wrong price on the contract.. It was around 50k Swedish kroners more than what we had agreed on.. And I was like WTF?? - again he was all sorry- I will fix it..
So this morning, he called the hubby and said "ya we are sorry, but she still hasn't fixed the documents for the bathroom, but she will bring them to the contract signing tonight" .. And he was like "oh and we want to move the takeover date to beginning of January.. I mean comeon!! WTF is that all about.. AND on top of that they wanted to meet on Monday instead of today.... *sigh*
So I called the broker back.. And let me tell you I was pretty pissed.. And I told him that they had 3 options.. 1: We do everything as planned today- 2: We can sign the papers on Monday, and the takeover day will still be December 1st at the latest, but we are taking our bid down with 50k.. 3: She doesn't agree on either and we will just forget about the whole thing..
Then he told me the reason for why she wanted to postpond it.. And the story is so stupid.. Let me start by saying that this lady is older than my mum.. She is around 60 years old.
So she bought the flat she is selling to us with a guy- whom she cheated on- and he moved out. She is now buying a farm with her new flame- and she wanted to wait cause she is unsure about the new guy??? WTF lol
And then he called and said that they didn't want to go for our offers so we were all nvm it then..
Then he called again and were all, oh we are sorry, lets go as planned today! But lets face it- a day full of BS and stress in between work cases.. It's been so stressing and we have lost our "we like this flat" feeling.. So I called my hubby's mum and talked it over with her. And she was like well if you like the flat then go for it but take your bid down with another 100k- if you get it then good, if you don't then it's too bad for the seller.. So we did that and they didn't want it and we are SO done with this shit..
I have never ever ever seen something similar...... Anyway... We are going to keep looking and I am sure we will find something better!
2011/09/07
A bit rant around the new flat and then a whole bunch of thoughts about why I was crying for hours last nigh!
I want to start this post with a warning.. Do not watch the clips I am posting here if you are not an adult.. Or if you are planning to live an ignorant life..
So yesterday I was crying for hours.. And it wasn't happy tears over buying the flat.. I was reading up on blogs and I saw this post, and as you guys know I have been talking about how I have been sick lately wanting to go over to a more vegetarian diet.. This clip is the reason for why I was crying.. I cried cause I know that even though things aren't that bad here in the Scandinavia they are still bad.. I cried for the poor animals who are on daily bases being treated this way..
We all know and talk openly about the horrid holocaust, but no one EVER talks about this shit.. We have all heard about the chicken not being free and they are treated badly for us to be able to have the eggs.. But no one ever talks about what's actually happening to those poor animals.. We keep going to the zoo and circus's watching those poor animals preform but we NEVER talk about the fact that those poor animals are not living the life they were supposed to live.
I for one am not going to just sit by and watch and keep living an ignorant life. There a few things I wouldn't mind, one being supporting the local farmer, buying eggs from free ranged chickens. 2 being the hunters that actually hunt for crowd control (like the ones who hunt hogs here in the Scandinavia, if they didn't the population of the animals would ruin the wild life). I am not saying I would eat it.. But I understand the cause.
I am making a change and lets face it.. Hubby can take it the way he wants.. I wont be cooking it.. And since he never cooks (He srsly can not cook) .. I guess he wont be eating it either..
I ordered me some of the Skinny Bitch books and the book called Becoming Vegan: The Complete Guide to Adopting a Healthy Plant-based Diet, I have previewed some of these books on my Kindle, but I like to have recipe book and so on in paper- They will be delivered next week, until then I am just going to stay off meat and egg and so on. I don't think I will be going full vegan right away since we have some cream cheese and such left at home- I am the only one that eats that sort of things in our household- and I don't want to toss them cause it would be waste, and I hate tossing food.. People in other parts of the world are starving.. But I will not be buying any more of the animal related foods. I also got the skinny bitch "bun in the oven" book, just to be on the sure side.
I am looking forward to read them all and start a new chapter in my life.. One step at the time!
Over to the flat.. We are really looking forward to taking over.. The next few days will be hectic, we have to clear out and replace everything so they can take pictures from our current place and put it up for sales. They are going to do that tomorrow- and have it out online by Friday. We hope to be able to sell it pretty fast since it would suck to have to pay for both of the places.
Anywho, I need to log off now.. I am really tired and can't focus on much hehe
<3
So yesterday I was crying for hours.. And it wasn't happy tears over buying the flat.. I was reading up on blogs and I saw this post, and as you guys know I have been talking about how I have been sick lately wanting to go over to a more vegetarian diet.. This clip is the reason for why I was crying.. I cried cause I know that even though things aren't that bad here in the Scandinavia they are still bad.. I cried for the poor animals who are on daily bases being treated this way..
We all know and talk openly about the horrid holocaust, but no one EVER talks about this shit.. We have all heard about the chicken not being free and they are treated badly for us to be able to have the eggs.. But no one ever talks about what's actually happening to those poor animals.. We keep going to the zoo and circus's watching those poor animals preform but we NEVER talk about the fact that those poor animals are not living the life they were supposed to live.
I for one am not going to just sit by and watch and keep living an ignorant life. There a few things I wouldn't mind, one being supporting the local farmer, buying eggs from free ranged chickens. 2 being the hunters that actually hunt for crowd control (like the ones who hunt hogs here in the Scandinavia, if they didn't the population of the animals would ruin the wild life). I am not saying I would eat it.. But I understand the cause.
I am making a change and lets face it.. Hubby can take it the way he wants.. I wont be cooking it.. And since he never cooks (He srsly can not cook) .. I guess he wont be eating it either..
I ordered me some of the Skinny Bitch books and the book called Becoming Vegan: The Complete Guide to Adopting a Healthy Plant-based Diet, I have previewed some of these books on my Kindle, but I like to have recipe book and so on in paper- They will be delivered next week, until then I am just going to stay off meat and egg and so on. I don't think I will be going full vegan right away since we have some cream cheese and such left at home- I am the only one that eats that sort of things in our household- and I don't want to toss them cause it would be waste, and I hate tossing food.. People in other parts of the world are starving.. But I will not be buying any more of the animal related foods. I also got the skinny bitch "bun in the oven" book, just to be on the sure side.
I am looking forward to read them all and start a new chapter in my life.. One step at the time!
Over to the flat.. We are really looking forward to taking over.. The next few days will be hectic, we have to clear out and replace everything so they can take pictures from our current place and put it up for sales. They are going to do that tomorrow- and have it out online by Friday. We hope to be able to sell it pretty fast since it would suck to have to pay for both of the places.
Anywho, I need to log off now.. I am really tired and can't focus on much hehe
<3
2011/09/06
Weeeee.......
So we are bidding on this flat we like.. We are going to change it a little bit if we get it.. We are bidding around 20.000 dollars under what they want for it... But we are the only bidders so we will see!!
Here it is .. The pictures are mostly from the view and it doesn't show that much but still.. It is the one with 3 bedrooms-- You need to go through the kitchen to get to one of the bedroom- and that is what we will be changing. Closing up that wall and have a new door out to the living room ( which is how it was to start with but the old owner changed it for some stupid reason lol) ... And it needs some paint job and proper decoration.. But ya..
It is only 10 mins ish walk to the harbour.. And we love the area so far hehe.. So keep them crossed girls!!!
@ Miranda :) : I am not sure if I am using the terms flat vs townhouse right. I use flat instead of apartment- while a town house for me i more a house.. Like these:
Here it is .. The pictures are mostly from the view and it doesn't show that much but still.. It is the one with 3 bedrooms-- You need to go through the kitchen to get to one of the bedroom- and that is what we will be changing. Closing up that wall and have a new door out to the living room ( which is how it was to start with but the old owner changed it for some stupid reason lol) ... And it needs some paint job and proper decoration.. But ya..
It is only 10 mins ish walk to the harbour.. And we love the area so far hehe.. So keep them crossed girls!!!
@ Miranda :) : I am not sure if I am using the terms flat vs townhouse right. I use flat instead of apartment- while a town house for me i more a house.. Like these:
Flat:
Town house:
Gotta go back to work now.. :)
Keep them crossed!
<3
2011/09/05
Nightly check-in...
Todays HGSD calorie limit: 900
Calories inn: 650Calories out: No gym but we have been going up and down many many stairs while we saw the two flats we had a look at today..
Net: 650- 250 calories under the budget.
HSGD...
I have been thinking about how to kick start the counting again.. I haven't gained or lost anything the last week ish.. I am going on HSGD starting today. I tried SGD and it was horrid.. Specially since I count in all veg and fruit.. I ended up being way too light headed and cranky.. Unable to focus on work..
HSGD has more realistic amount of calories. And I feel like starting it, I wont be putting my self up to fail.. I hate the feeling of failure..
I have made a tab on pages overview for it. Makes it easier to keep track of the numbers. Today is a 900 cal day.. I don't feel stressed about it at all.. I finally have a plan for breakfast/lunch at work.. I am going to start drinking my protein shake again (103 cals)- and for lunch I am going to have a cup of soup (70 cal) and an apple (72 cal). I might have a rice cake by end of the day if I am still hungry. I am also introducing smoothies at home.. Hubby has never really tried them and hasn't been so keen on trying them.. But I think they are a great snack.. And I like the sweetness you get from it without having to have something ttly unhealthy.. The recipe I am going to try today is for mango smoothies- half a banana - 1 DL light yoghurt- and 1 DL chopped frozen mango. That is around 163 cals. I think this recipe can be mixed with all sort of berries but I have been craving something sweet lately, so I think mango is a good choice.
The reason for this is that we are going to start training again.. FINALLY!!! We talked about it- and we are going to just go home after work- grab a snack and hit the gym. Hubby is going to start his shooting training as well- so he will have an extra day at their club, which I will use on chill girl time..
We are thinking about doing it like this : Mon-tues: gym- Wednesday: his club training/my girl night- Thur:gym- Friday: date night. Saturday: gym. Sunday slack off day.
We aren't sure if we can make it to the gym on all the days we want because of the house hunting and so on- but on those days we are thinking about going for a run or just do WiiFit..
I have been thinking about my eating habits, and I have noticed that I prefer having my food planned- and to not have that many options.. I like to eat the same thing everyday cause then I know what I get my self into.. I sort of feel like I will go on a binge if I don't plan my eats.. I know I shouldn't use it as an excuse but ya.. Does any of you feel the same way?
Anyways..
We saw a flat yesterday.. 3 bedrooms and so on.. On a great location.. But it lacked a whole lot of storage space.. So we are most likely just going to nvm it.. We have another one we are going to see after work today.. This one only has two bedroom. but it is right next to the park where we got married.. So we will see.. I would love to have a town house.. But hubby is being all "oh it is too much work".. So for now we are just looking into flats.. And the bigger ones aren't that great. So we will see how it goes..
Hmmm... Got really distracted here .. Started looking over all the flat we could think of looking at and made a list for hubby.. And I think we are going to have a new look at the one we saw yesterday again tomorrow.. We might just go for one with 2 bedroom instead of 3 and go for the prime location.. And then maybe move in a few years and buy a house/town house.. He just can't deal with the idea of a house atm.. So it's a tad meh.. But I can sort of understand why he is saying what he is saying so... But ya ...
Anyways :) I think I will just publish this post hehe, can't seem to be able to focus..
<3
Edit: Ttly forgot ^^ @Ulla.. Honey if you are reading this.. I ttly miss you.. Hope everything is OK and OMG yaaaay for the being half hitched ^^ So so so yaaay ^^Does this mean you might move over to the DK?? Have I mentioned that Copenhagen is only a 10 mins train ride away from here ^^
Looking forward to see you back in couple of weeks ish :) <3
HSGD has more realistic amount of calories. And I feel like starting it, I wont be putting my self up to fail.. I hate the feeling of failure..
I have made a tab on pages overview for it. Makes it easier to keep track of the numbers. Today is a 900 cal day.. I don't feel stressed about it at all.. I finally have a plan for breakfast/lunch at work.. I am going to start drinking my protein shake again (103 cals)- and for lunch I am going to have a cup of soup (70 cal) and an apple (72 cal). I might have a rice cake by end of the day if I am still hungry. I am also introducing smoothies at home.. Hubby has never really tried them and hasn't been so keen on trying them.. But I think they are a great snack.. And I like the sweetness you get from it without having to have something ttly unhealthy.. The recipe I am going to try today is for mango smoothies- half a banana - 1 DL light yoghurt- and 1 DL chopped frozen mango. That is around 163 cals. I think this recipe can be mixed with all sort of berries but I have been craving something sweet lately, so I think mango is a good choice.
The reason for this is that we are going to start training again.. FINALLY!!! We talked about it- and we are going to just go home after work- grab a snack and hit the gym. Hubby is going to start his shooting training as well- so he will have an extra day at their club, which I will use on chill girl time..
We are thinking about doing it like this : Mon-tues: gym- Wednesday: his club training/my girl night- Thur:gym- Friday: date night. Saturday: gym. Sunday slack off day.
We aren't sure if we can make it to the gym on all the days we want because of the house hunting and so on- but on those days we are thinking about going for a run or just do WiiFit..
I have been thinking about my eating habits, and I have noticed that I prefer having my food planned- and to not have that many options.. I like to eat the same thing everyday cause then I know what I get my self into.. I sort of feel like I will go on a binge if I don't plan my eats.. I know I shouldn't use it as an excuse but ya.. Does any of you feel the same way?
Anyways..
We saw a flat yesterday.. 3 bedrooms and so on.. On a great location.. But it lacked a whole lot of storage space.. So we are most likely just going to nvm it.. We have another one we are going to see after work today.. This one only has two bedroom. but it is right next to the park where we got married.. So we will see.. I would love to have a town house.. But hubby is being all "oh it is too much work".. So for now we are just looking into flats.. And the bigger ones aren't that great. So we will see how it goes..
Hmmm... Got really distracted here .. Started looking over all the flat we could think of looking at and made a list for hubby.. And I think we are going to have a new look at the one we saw yesterday again tomorrow.. We might just go for one with 2 bedroom instead of 3 and go for the prime location.. And then maybe move in a few years and buy a house/town house.. He just can't deal with the idea of a house atm.. So it's a tad meh.. But I can sort of understand why he is saying what he is saying so... But ya ...
Anyways :) I think I will just publish this post hehe, can't seem to be able to focus..
<3
Edit: Ttly forgot ^^ @Ulla.. Honey if you are reading this.. I ttly miss you.. Hope everything is OK and OMG yaaaay for the being half hitched ^^ So so so yaaay ^^Does this mean you might move over to the DK?? Have I mentioned that Copenhagen is only a 10 mins train ride away from here ^^
Looking forward to see you back in couple of weeks ish :) <3
2011/09/02
Enough is enough!
Ok.. I have had enough of the low mood! I have been sobbing for days and everything is starting to get so "out of reach".. And I have had enough..
So it is my birthday.. I am turning 29 and guess what.. I am going to grab it by the balls and have a blast! I mean.. The whole "OMG I am getting old" is getting old.. I need to just forget about it.. Ages a number afterall... And my 28 turned out good.. And if I get my shit together 29 will even be better... I have a to do list.. Lol.. I ALWAYS have a to do list.. I like having them.. Makes me feel better.. More in control.. And lets face it.. I am a control freak..
I have made a list over the things I want to do by the end of this year.. I have a goal.. And I think it's really important to keep it up until end of this year and put up new ones then.. So this is what I want to do by the end of this year:
So it is my birthday.. I am turning 29 and guess what.. I am going to grab it by the balls and have a blast! I mean.. The whole "OMG I am getting old" is getting old.. I need to just forget about it.. Ages a number afterall... And my 28 turned out good.. And if I get my shit together 29 will even be better... I have a to do list.. Lol.. I ALWAYS have a to do list.. I like having them.. Makes me feel better.. More in control.. And lets face it.. I am a control freak..
I have made a list over the things I want to do by the end of this year.. I have a goal.. And I think it's really important to keep it up until end of this year and put up new ones then.. So this is what I want to do by the end of this year:
- I will get fit and get my lazy bum to the gym 4 times a week
- I will eat restrict my calories- control my carbs- keep my fat low.
- I will get up earlier every morning- and take time to put on my makeup and get my self looking good.. Looking better will make me feel better and that will result in me having a better day.
- I will NOT let my hubby's stupid gran get to me.. She can be a bitch as often as she want.. She is going to my ignore list.. And is out of our life!
- I will get OFF morbidly obese BMI (AKA under 174 lbs) .. I can not keep going this way.. I will end up dying fat...
- I will not binge.. And I will not purge!
- And I will start paying more attention to my hubby.. Date nights are back on the table! We haven't had a proper date since I moved to Sweden.. And that SUCKS...
Tonight we are going out for sushi to celebrate my bday.. And I am looking forward to that. I wonder what I can wear.. I don't have that many nice cloths that fit anymore.. And I am not buying new ones for this size.. I am just not going to do it lol... So ya.. We will see..
On the bright side.. I have a whole bunch of cloths to fit into as the numbers on the scale go lower.. :)
Anyways :) Wishing you all a great weekend..
<3
2011/09/01
Having the almost 30 blues...
Turning 29 tomorrow.. I have a whole lot happening in my head.. A lot of what to do's.. And why's and so on... A year away from 30.. I am not sure how happy I am about the way I have been spending my 20's...
Anyways.. Not much to say today..
<3
Anyways.. Not much to say today..
<3
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